


My Heart Stumbles on Things I Don't Know

by NyxEtoile, OlivesAwl



Series: A Brush With the Devil Can Clear Your Mind [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Battle, F/M, Healing, Medical Procedures, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Team as Family, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-06-15
Packaged: 2020-02-18 11:57:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 55,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18699157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NyxEtoile/pseuds/NyxEtoile, https://archiveofourown.org/users/OlivesAwl/pseuds/OlivesAwl
Summary: Amanda winced and sighed. "I have really shitty bedside manner. It's why I was a surgeon and a researcher. I'm sorry about all of this. I really am. I've lost people, I know it hurts and it feels helpless. Which is why I'm sitting here jamming a screw driver in this and pretending not to think too hard."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic will cover events from both Infinity War and (starting with chapter 2) Endgame so be warned. MAJOR Endgame spoilers, for real.
> 
> The main female character is Amanda Newbury, who originated in our Tales from the Tower series. She was introduced in this series in the last story, and we kind of expect you to have read that before this one. We've attempted to write her to be accessible to new readers, but apologies if you're confused.
> 
> The title comes from a Mumford & Sons song "Awake My Soul"

"Doctor Newbury, Doctor Yee is trying to get in touch with you."

In almost two years Amanda has still not, entirely, gotten used to the disembodied Irish voice helpfully pointing things out. She knew why Stark had built her. She knew FRIDAY was often very useful and faster than trying to Google things herself. But as someone who had attempted to write essays with an obnoxious paperclip constantly pestering her, there was just something about the AI that grated.

"Tell her I'm busy in the lab," she replied, not looking up from the samples she was studying.

"She insists it's important."

"So is what I'm doing." FRIDAY didn't answer immediately and Amanda hoped that was that.

"She says to tell you that Mr. Stark just attacked an alien spaceship that has now left the atmosphere."

Sighing, Amanda straightened up from her microscope and resettled her glasses. "Goddamn that man."

"Ms. Potts is also trying to reach you, now."

Why on earth Pepper thought she was responsible for Tony being an idiot. . . "Tell Dr. Yee I'm on my way to her office," she said, hopping to her feet and grabbing her bag. "And patch Pepper into my earpiece."

"Why didn't I put my foot down about the shirt with the nannites in it?" Pepper opened with. Amanda could hear what sounded like road noise—she must be in a car.

"Because you love him and love weakens us."

"Why didn't _you_ put your foot down about the nannites?" She sighed. "Or Lani. She has the best track record of any of us of getting him to do things he doesn't want to do."

Amanda didn't want to tell her that she was pretty sure Lani was okay with the nannite shirt, because it was reasonably healthy for an anxiety coping mechanism. Like a very, very expensive and complicated security blanket. Tony feared the end of the world, and carried both a suit and the phone he could summon the Outlaw Avengers with on him at all times.

Pepper was still talking. "A wizard named Dr. Strange popped out of portal in Central Park. He had Bruce Banner with him, who apparently fell out of the sky." She sighed. "I probably shouldn't complain about the nannites. Because apparently Tony was right about the aliens coming back."

She dearly missed living in a world where "aliens attacking New York" was a legitimate concern. "I'm going to talk to Lani, where are you?"

"In the city, heading your way. I was with Tony and he told me to get somewhere safe-"

"Okay. We'll both be here. You won't be alone."

"Thank you," she said. "I don't know if Rhodey is home, but someone ought to fill him in, too."

"I'll call him after we hang up," she promised. "Be careful driving. Hurrying won't make him reappear any faster."

"I know, I know."

She disconnected as Amanda reached Lani's office. She gave a perfunctory knock before letting herself in. "Pepper's on her way. Said a wizard named Strange come out of a portal and recruited Tony."

Lani looked at her a moment. "I quit. I'm moving back to California."

"Too late, you're one of the inmates now. FRIDAY, can you connect us to Colonel Rhodes, please?"

"Hi, Doc," Rhodey answered with, sounding about a hundred years old. "I saw the news."

"Oh, good." That would save time. "Pepper is on her way up to HQ. I imagine someone is going to call and yell at us about this soon and I probably shouldn't be the one answering them." Amanda had been forbidden from talking to anyone about anything by the heads of PR _and_ Government Relations.

"I'll handle that," he said. "I'll wait until she gets here so we can have our stories straight."

"Let me know if you need either of us. I think we're going to spend a few minutes loudly agreeing with each other."

Rhodey sighed. "Can I come up there and join?"

"The more the merrier," Lani replied. She'd pulled up the news footage on her lap top and Amanda shifted over to watch with her. It was shaky cell phone footage, but close enough you could see the important parts.

"Yep," Amanda said when it was done. "That was Stark getting alien-napped."

Lani had her head in her hands. "This is going to set back his therapy months."

"Is that psychologist for he's going to say 'I told you so'?"

"That too."

Rhodey showed up five minutes later. He'd brought a bottle of bourbon with him, and three glasses. "Before Pepper gets here," he said, filing each glass. "I want the three of us to consider realistic odds of him coming back from this."

"The nannite suit can withstand the vacuum of space," Amanda said. She'd helped design it so. "But he'll run out of oxygen in an hour or two. If he gets on the ship proper, or a compatible atmosphere, it will extend it." She accepted the glass from him. "Without knowing more of what he's up against, I can't make an accurate prediction."

"I'm just saying, this seems worse than usual. Even for him. Where did the ship even go?"

"Pepper said Bruce Banner was there. I'm hoping he's coming here to shed some light on this."

"Realistically," Lani said. "Odds aren't good. I doubt the aliens are going to give him a lift home when they're done fighting. He could win handily and we'd still never see him again."

Rhodey knocked back his drink. "And now you see why I brought the bourbon."

Amanda gave him a look. "Are you under the impression Pepper won't figure this out too?"

"Not at all. She's going to think about it on the drive up, and then ask when she gets here. After stewing on it for two hours, she's probably going to be pretty upset. I don't know if I should reassure or be honest."

She took a drink to keep herself from answering. Lani said, "False hope can be very damaging. I think being realistic with her is best."

That was far more diplomatic than Amanda's response would have been.

"Yeah." He refilled his drink. "May be best coming from you. I'm not all that rational right now and Doc doesn't do, you know, crying people." She gave him a dirty look but didn't even try to defend herself.

Lani was smiling. Amanda wasn't even sure she'd sipped her drink. "I'm happy to talk to her."

"I'm excited to meet Dr Banner," Amanda offered. "Unless you think he'll be crying."

"Crying is probably better than the other thing, where he turns green and wrecks the building," Rhodey said.

She paused, considering that. "Do you think he'll let me take a blood sample?"

Both of them were staring at her. _Both_ of them were making the kind of face they usually made at Tony.

"Is that a no?"

Banner and Pepper showed up about an hour later, and he filled in some of the blanks, including the genocidal alien and MacGuffins of infinite power. When he was done, Lani took Pepper to her office for tea and crying, Banner went down to the lab to catch up on whatever it was Stark did down there, leaving Amanda and Rhodey in the main conference room alone.

"I am downgrading his chances from slim to nil," she said finally.

"Yeah. Maybe I should go get the bourbon again."

"You wanna be hammered when Captain America shows up?" Banner had apparently used the Emergency Flip Phone and called in the cavalry. Amanda was meeting all kinds of new people today.

He leaned back in his chair and tipped his head back. "Probably not."

"I feel like I should be doing something. But I am at a loss as to what I could possibly do."

"We're going to need to suit up soon," he said. "Do what needs to be done. And also the urge to punch Steve Rogers."

"Hey, I was not involved in your little schoolyard spat." She stood. "I'll be in the equipment room, then. Obsessing over how many tourniquets to pack in if the heat seeking missiles are overkill or not."

Pepper came down and found her a couple hours later. Based on how red her eyes were, Lani had been honest, and included the downgrade. "Everytime he went out in the suit, I wondered if it would be the last time I see him. I suppose eventually it would have to be true."

"He's been very lucky. Several times." Amanda had been tweaking the fit on one of her gloves and went back to doing so. "It's not impossible he'll be lucky again. But it's not something you want to count on."

"Suffocating in space during the Chitari invasion is on his regular rotation of nightmares."

That didn't surprise here even a little bit. "When we were working on the medic suits, he would talk, all the time. About all manner of things. He used to ask me to rate various methods of dying. Including various forms of suffocation." She glanced over at Pepper. "CO2 poisoning, which is the most likely method in this sort of situation, is pretty peaceful. You get a little lightheaded and fall asleep."

Her face crumpled a little, but she got it under control.

Amanda winced and sighed. "I have really shitty bedside manner. It's why I was a surgeon and a researcher. I'm sorry about all of this. I really am. I've lost people, I know it hurts and it feels helpless. Which is why I'm sitting here jamming a screw driver in this and pretending not to think too hard."

Pepper inhaled through her nose, and blew it out. "Yeah." She paused. "The waiting is the worst." 

"You've done a lot of that with him, haven't you?"

"Story of my life," she said with a sigh. She rubbed her arms. "I'm going to go take a shower and lay down, my head is killing me."

"Drink some water," Amanda told her distractedly. "It's probably dehydration."

That got her half a smile. "Thanks." She paused. "I hope you stick around. Even if he doesn't come back. I'll need some help figuring out what's next."

At that, Amanda looked over at her. "You're stuck with me till I cure cancer or become a super villain."

After Pepper went back upstairs, Amanda got back into her work. It gave her something to focus on. She had just gone in search of some dinner when FRIDAY told her the jet was landing.

There was definitely a big disaster looming. But the scientist in her was really looking forward to meeting Steve Rogers.

She paused long enough to pour hot water into a Ramen container and hustled her butt to he meeting room FRIDAY told her Rhodey was in. She was also informed that Lani was on her way.

She arrived just in time to see Captain Rogers tell Secretary Ross where to stick it, which made her whole day worth it, really.

Ross ordered Rhodes to arrest them, which he solemnly promised to do, then turned off the holo transmission. "That's a court martial," he said, then there was a long pause. "It's great to see you, Cap." There was hugging, and Lani rolled up next to her. Vision noticed the two of them, and waved.

Banner came in from the other doorway, and there was a moment of awkwardness as he and Natasha Romanov shared some sort of significant look. Amanda looked at Lani, who shrugged.

"Right," Rhodey said. He turned a little. "This is Dr. Newbury and Dr. Yee. Our medic and our shrink. Among other things."

Rogers came forward, holding out a hand. "Dr. Newbury. Vision told me you'd probably ask for a blood sample."

"My reputation proceeds me," she said, shaking his hand. "I wrote an essay about you in med school."

"I am happy to be of use to science," he replied. 

He introduced Natasha and Sam Wilson to them, and then Vision piped up, "And this is my Wanda." Amanda knew Lani was the one who had convinced Tony it was a good thing to allow him to go see her.

Lani moved forward to shake her hand. "It's lovely to meet you. Vision has told us a lot about you."

Amanda took her turn to shake the young woman's hand. "Do any of you need anything? Coffee, tea, some food?"

"Food would be nice. Also. . ." Wanda reached over and pulled up the hand Vision was holding over his side, revealing a gash. "There was damage to the organic tissue, we were hoping you could help."

Amanda went over to inspect it. "Take him down to the med bay, Vision knows where it is. I'll meet you there as soon as I get some food going."

"And then we need to talk about the thing," Natasha said.

Amanda ran down to the cafeteria and caught the last chef on the way out and had FRIDAY dump an enormous bonus in his account so he'd stay long enough to whip up food for everyone and bring it up to the meeting room. She had clearly been spending too much time with Stark.

That thought caused a little stab of grief, but she pushed it down. She had a patient to look after. And, apparently, a world to save.

*

Something had felt ominous about King T'Challa marching down the hill towards Bucky's house. He'd come in person, without warning. That couldn't be good.

When he saw the case with the arm in it, he knew. Shuri had made it for him a long time ago, but he didn't want to wear it. His life didn't need it anymore. But she said she was keeping it, because if he ever needed to fight again, he'd want two arms.

If T'Challa was bringing the arm, he had reason to ask Bucky to put it on. As much as he dreaded that down into his bones. "Where's the fight?"

"On its way." T'Challa's tone, and the look on Okoye's face, told him everything he needed to know about the scope of what was coming. 

"Give me a minute," he said quietly. "I'll come back with you." T'Challa nodded, and Bucky went back to the house to change. He'd need Shuri's help to put the arm on, but he could put on the rest of his gear.

When he emerged a few minutes later, in his black tac gear, they had closed the arm case up again and were waiting patiently for him. He nodded to the king, gave his goats one last look, then started trudging up the hill to the transport the others had come in.

"Captain Rogers and his team are on their way," T'Challa told him as they rode back into the city. "He was unable to give me details, but said to expect a war."

"Why is Steve brining it to you?"

"I believe I am the only army he has access to. He also requires my sister's assistance with a problem."

"Must be a worthy cause if you're letting him." The King took his country's safety and privacy very seriously.

T'Challa sighed, looking out at the growing suburbs they were passing through. "I believe it is the fate of the universe at stake."

Bucky got his arm put on, and argued good-naturedly with Shuri about whether he wanted to fight with his 'antique' or have a 'real weapon'. T'Challa called him down to come meet the plane when the Avengers arrived.

It took him a minute to make his way down from her lab, long enough that he missed the plane landing. He met T'Challa and Steve on their way towards the building, and his highness gave him an excellent set-up for an opening line. "And a semi stable hundred year old man."

Steve grinned and came to hug him. "How ya been, Buck?"

Bucky grinned back. "Not bad for the end of the world."

"Shuri is waiting to examine your friend," T'Challa offered, with a gesture at the purple guy Wilson was holding up.

Steve nodded and the others headed for the doors. "We should expect enemy forces anytime now."

T'Challa nodded. "I will have the border tribe begin mobilization."

Most of them headed back inside. Wilson and Rhodes lingered, as did a woman who had been at the back of the group. Bucky found her vaguely familiar—she had a wicked scar on her face that was pretty distinct. "We've got our suits in the jet," Wilson said. "Steve packed some stuff for you just in case."

Bucky nodded and they headed back into the jet to get their gear. He rummaged through the weapon's drawers while the three of them put their suits on. The woman had a blue and silver Iron Man style suit that appeared to use a mix of nannite and normal tech.

"Brought the Doctor Death suit, huh?" Rhodes asked her.

"I asked Rogers and he said he wanted the extra firepower." She fiddled with something on her wrist. "Kinda got the impression they're not expecting a lot of. . . survivable casualties."

Rhodes made a face and went back to getting his own suit on.

The woman noticed Bucky's attention and held out a hand. "We haven't met. I'm Amanda Newbury, the medic. Everyone calls me Doc."

He shook it. "I'm James Barnes. Everyone calls me Bucky."

"Nice to meet you."

They both went back to what they'd been doing and he heard Rhodes say, "You didn't ask him for a blood sample _or_ to check out his arm. I'm so proud of you."

"I am _capable_ of tact. I just choose not to most of the time."

Bucky didn't know what prompted him to respond honestly. "You're welcome to look at the arm, but I hate needles."

The other three looked over at him. "I already got a blood sample from Captain Rogers," she replied. "But I wouldn't say no to poking at your arm."

He unbuttoned the fastenings on his jacket and let her ease the sleeve down to peer at the arm and its connections. "I'm studying the super soldier serum," she told him as she poked. "I don't just randomly retrieve blood samples from strange men. This is fascinating. Do you have a full range of sensation?"

"Yes," he said, flexing his fingers. "On my old one I didn't, it was very limited. But this is vibranium, and feels not all that different than the one on the other side."

"Someday I hope to get to play with vibranium." She poked a little more, fingers palpitating a couple spots where the arm met flesh. Apparently satisfied, she tugged his sleeve back up and stepped back as he refastened the jacket. "Thanks."

He found her curiosity adorable. He didn't even entirely know why. Usually he hated medical people. "Anytime, Doc."

She smiled at him, the expression making her look oddly young and very pretty. Then she gave him a little nod and headed down the ramp of the jet where the other two were waiting.

Two minutes later something explosive struck Wakanda's forcefield dome. The fight had arrived.

They were aliens. Weird, slimy, lizard looking things. They leant the entire battle an air of surreality. But it was nice to be fighting with Steve again.

There seemed to be endless hordes of the damn things. One of them knocked the gun out of his hands and he ended up on the ground with it, taking it out with a knife. A glance around told him a few of the others seemed to be in similar positions. The damn battle had barely begun and they were already over run.  
Which is when some sort of rainbow lightning hit the middle of the field and a giant battle axe came flying out.

Bucky had never met Thor, but Steve had told him plenty. It was still pretty crazy to see someone who could control lighting and wipe out enemies by the dozens. He did, however, come with a sentient tree and a talking raccoon. Who tried to buy Bucky's gun. And then his arm.

He'd really thought the lizard dog aliens would be the weirdest thing about the day.

Things got. . . hectic after that. Wanda joined the fray, which was great because now there were crazy spinning things that crushed everything in their path. There was chatter on the comms about Vision now being on the field and various people going to give him back up.

At one point he picked Steve's voice out, "Doc, Vision's hurt, can you evacuate?"

"On my way," she replied and he saw her whizz by, a blur of blue. His gaze followed her and he saw one of the bigger dog things, smack her out of the sky. She gave a little shriek on the comms.

"Doc's down, I'm on it," he said into his earpiece before starting to clear a path. The blue of her suit was extremely reflective, so he could keep his eye on her even in the crowd of aliens. "Your suit vibranium?" he shouted, hoping her comm was working. 

"Titanium gold alloy," she replied and he saw an alien go flying. "I'm from Stark's group, he's not friends with T'Challa."

"Is it bullet proof?"

"Yes. _Ow_ , fuck. It's teeth proof too, you weird accident of nature."  
He was going to assume that last part was not directed at him. He reloaded his mag and sprayed bullets into the cluster of them that were on top of her. He could hear them pinging off the suit. Two stubborn ones he had to pull off with his hands. A fallen Wakandan soldier had what looked like a machete and Bucky grabbed it, slicing most of the head of the last one off. You couldn't really tell where the damn things' necks were.

When she was finally clear, he reached down and helped her up to her feet. Her face plate retracted and she took a second to catch her breath. "Thanks."

"You okay?" he asked, pondering briefly if he should examine why he found a woman in a shiny metal suit hot.

She nodded. "Couple of bruises, they didn't breach the suit." She gave him a visual once over. "You all right?"

He reached out and punched the creature the was charging him, sending it flying. "I have a vibranium arm."

"Sexy," she replied, then immediately looked like she both regretted and couldn't believe what she'd just said.

Before he could reply, the air around them seemed to change, as if suddenly charged with static that had nothing to do with Thor and his axe. A wind blew across the battle field and even some of the alien enemies stopped to take notice.

"Everyone on my position," Steve said on the coms. "We've got incoming."

Bucky was pretty far from where is beads told him Steve was, and he took off at a run. When he finally reached them, it was only a moment where he finally spotted him. "Steve?" 

Then everything went black.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"It feels very weird to say this to you, but I hope you understand. I think he's the only person left alive that I could say I love."_

Amanda was not accustomed to losing.

She'd had setbacks. A failed experiment, a research path that led nowhere. But those weren't losses. You reevaluated, learned what you could and moved on to something new and improved. This. . . this was loss.

They regrouped as best they could. She patched up those that had been injured - at least those that would let her. Her ribs were cracked - Thanos had thrown her into a rather sturdy tree - but for now the suit was holding her together. When everyone was mobile, they staggered back to the transports they'd taken out to the border.

The king was gone, as was his sister. His general, a hard edged woman Amanda hadn't formally met, was grieving and quietly raging. She didn't seem too insulted when they offered to leave and slunk back onto their jet.

On the jet she finally retracted her suit and almost passed out from the pain. Gritting her teeth, she peeled down to her bra and started wrapping her ribs. Natasha Romanov came over and helped her without a word.

They flew in silence, huddled in the back of the jet, shocked and grieved and unwilling to be alone.

Pepper met the plane and threw herself at Amanda, since she came down the ramp before Rhodey. It hurt her ribs bad enough to see stars but she hugged the woman back, letting her sob on her shoulder. Lani was inside, handing an avalanche of phone calls from clients past and present. Amanda felt a little bit of relief. They were all going to need therapy after this.

She was a doctor. Had been a surgeon, had done emergency medicine in war zones. Had watched children die of treatable diseases, had massaged hearts in the hopes of bringing a corpse back to life. She knew how to take emotion and shove it away, into some part of her brain that she didn't need, so she could get shit done.

So that's what she did. She made sure people had beds. When people seemed reluctant to sleep alone she turned one of the common rooms into a sleepover area, dragging mattresses herself until Rogers spotted her and he and Rhodey took over. She went to the kitchens - now abandoned as everyone had fled after the snap - and cobbled together food, which she hauled upstairs and made everyone eat. Water and tea were passed around before she'd let the alcohol be broken out. Then she handed out sedatives and sleeping pills to everyone who wanted them.

When everyone was asleep and the mess of dinner had been cleaned up, she went to her office and tried to call her father and sister. Neither answered. Her sister had been on a flight to Europe to report of some summit or another. Later, the news would releases lists of flights that had crashed due to the Snap and her sister's plane would be on it.

There, in the dark quiet of her office, all alone, did she finally allow herself to cry, for the first and only time. In the morning, she would need to be Doc again. Icy and efficient and emotionless. But for this brief moment in time she could sob and punch the table and mourn her family.

Amanda was back to being Doc when they got the pager. Someone from the field staff who'd survived the snap had obtained it, and it consumed the attention of most of the team. Lani approved of them having something to focus on right now. Amanda approved of nearly anything that would give Lani a break.

She didn't know anything about space, or long range signals, so she focused on the nitty gritty. People got fed, they showered, they slept. Eventually, the mattresses moved out of the main room and back into bedrooms. Amanda's ribs healed slowly, as did other people's injuries. She made sure Bruce didn't stare at computer screens all day and that Rhodey sat and did his PT exercises.

Pepper turned out to be pregnant, something she hadn't known when Tony got on the spaceship. They'd tried a long time and just about given up, and it made Amanda consider crying again. She could only think how much he'd wanted to be a father, and would never meet his kid.

Then one day a blonde woman appeared from space and asked where Fury was.

"As best as well can tell, dead," Rhodey said. "Like a lot of people. And you are?"

"Carol Danvers." Amanda sort of liked how she said it like everyone should know who that was. "Start from the beginning."

They did. Thanos and the stones and the snap. Carol had apparently been in space when the snap happened, but had enough connections to have heard about the disappearances. And she seemed very eager to go punch Thanos.

"Wait," Amanda said, before they could all start posturing. "You can fly around in space?"

Carol shrugged. "It's kind of my thing."

"We have a teammate stuck up there."

Steve looked over at her. "You think he's still alive?"

"I don't know. But he's survived bad odds before. And at the very least, he deserves to be buried properly."

"Do you know where I might find this person? Space is pretty big."

She glanced upwards. "FRIDAY, is there _any_ way to track Tony's suit? Even just a last known location or trajectory of the space ship?" It hadn't been worth asking when they had now way of getting there.

"Only if it is currently transmitting," she said. Funny the AI had enough vocal inflection to indicate she considered that unlikely. "I'll perform a scan. It will take a moment to get my satellite oriented."

The rest of them moved on to talking about Thanos and plans to get around the power of the stones. Amanda listened with half an ear, anxious tension twisting her stomach.

A hologram of the space popped up in the center of the table. "Apologies," FRIDAY said. "But I have the suit transmission." The hologram swirled, zooming in on a particular part of the galaxy, a little blinking light showing in the middle of literal nowhere.

Carol stared at it a moment. "Okay. I'm gonna go look. But I don't want you all to get your hopes up."

"I believe we are literally incapable of hope anymore," Amanda assured her. In truth, she wasn't hoping for much. Just enough of a body to bury. Even if it was just the suit.

They waited. Steve went to take a shower. Amanda found Lani and told her what was happening, and like a saint she volunteered to go tell Pepper.

The healthy thing was probably going to her office to distract herself while they waited. Instead, she made a up of tea and went out to the front patio to sit and watch the sky. Pepper came out to sit with her for her sky vigil. "Thor and Rocket are inside discussing the condition of bodies found floating in space. I thought it might be nicer out here."

"I was about to say we're not suppose to hope for much, but clearly you've already gotten that message."

"If I'm only allowed one miracle, he'd have wanted it to be the baby."

Amanda nodded, sure that was true. "I just figured. . . if all we get is something to bury. . . that's still something."

"From a completely pragmatic point of view—thinking like that is the only thing keeping me from collapsing on the floor—there are a lot of legal, financial, and logistical things in limbo right now. A body means a death certificate means I can get at his will."

"I respect a completely pragmatic point of view," Amanda told her, sipping her tea. "It's gotten me through a lot of dark times."

There was a flash of light in the sky, like a shooting star. Only it grew larger as it came right at them. As it got closer, the ground began to shake and the shooting star coalesced into a space ship being guided by a flying, glowing Carol.

"Holy hell," Amanda muttered, getting to her feet. Pepper was already moving, and Amanda followed her down the grass towards where it seemed Carol was aiming.

"If he was on a ship. . ." Pepper started, and didn't seem to be able to finish the sentence.

She could hear footsteps behind them, but Amanda could only look at the ship. She reached over and took Pepper's hand, giving it a little squeeze.

Carol set the whole thing down, glancing over her shoulder at the rest of them.

A ramp opened on the back of the ship and two figures started down the stairs, one supporting the other. The one holding up the other appeared to be a woman with blue skin and a lot of metal and robot parts. The man she was holding up was Tony.

Steve sprinted past them to help Tony walk. Pepper made a sound and let go of Amanda's hand, running towards them. For the first time in her life, Amanda felt utterly frozen. She hadn't expect to see him alive again.

Pepper reached him, and he nearly fell into her. She hugged him a moment, then sounded alarmed when she called out, "Amanda!"

That tone meant there was doctoring to do. That she could do. That did not require emotions. She started running, hitting the nannite bracelet she wore. "FRIDAY, send out a gurney." The nannites climbed her arm, forming into a sleeve of her suit so by the time she reached them she could do a scan of him.

He was severely underweight and suffering from dehydration and malnutrition and some minor hypoxia. "Jesus, how are you standing?" she muttered, just as the gurney hovered next to them.

She could see him look at the gurney, could _see_ the argument in his face. Despite the fact that he'd be on the ground if Pepper wasn't holding him up. And yet he was going to tell her with a straight face that he didn't need it. She'd probably have to make Steve-

"Didn't dare hope I'd get you both," was what he said instead.

Dammit, there was the emotions again. "Just can't catch a break, can you?" she replied, pausing a moment to cup the back of his head and rest her forehead on his. "Get on the gurney, please."

She got a single nod and then he cooperated, though it took her and Rhodey to get him on it. Rhodey made a joke about putting a GPS tracker on him and looked like he was about to cry. Pepper held Tony's hand as they headed inside at a power walk.

Once in her infirmary, she put an O2 mask on him and hooked him up to an IV to get fluids. Rhodey went to find a pair of sunglasses for him to wear and Amanda asked FRIDAY to turn the lights down to half. Three weeks in space meant they'd need to work him up to artificial lighting again.

At that point Pepper was looking at her expectantly. "Starvation and dehydration are the big ones. The fluids and a banana bag will give him a little energy for whatever meeting they're going to insist on having. But we're looking at probably a month till he's back to full health. We'll need to monitor his diet." She finished her current scan. "His heart is showing some damage from the malnutrition, that's usually the first organ effected and Tony's wasn't in the best shape to begin with." She tapped the arc reactor sitting on his chest. "I suggest we leave that there for a day or two to work as a pace maker until I'm sure he's out of the woods."

"I hear you talking about me, Newbury," he muttered, not opening his eyes.

"You are awake by pure stubbornness and should be resting," she informed him. But she put a hand on his shoulder and rubbed gently. "You need something? In any pain?"

"Depends, you got the good drugs?"

"Only the best for you, Boss. Hell, give me an hour I'll invent some new ones."

"I missed you, Doc," he said. "You said there was a meeting?"

"Tony-" Pepper started.

"C'mon Pep, I've been gone three weeks. You know how I love a meeting."

Amanda sighed, because she knew there was no arguing with him. "I'll put you in a wheelchair with an IV stand. I'm setting a timer for forty minutes, then you are getting put back in bed. Understood?"

" _No_ ," Pepper said. "In the morning." He opened his mouth, and she pointed at him and stood up. "I know you won't listen to me, but the rest of them will."

"Debatable," Tony said. There was clearly more to that, but she didn't let him finish.

"This facility is owned by a subsidiary of Stark Industries, of which I am still CEO. I am the landlord. Anybody who riles you up before you've had a good night's sleep will find themselves and their stuff on the fucking lawn. Are we clear?"

He stared at her a minute, then looked over at Amanda, who shrugged. "She went mad with power while you were gone. Sedative?"

"Opiods?"

"Is that a request or a concern?"

"Less nightmares with those."

She nodded. "I'll see what I have." She rubbed his arm again and went to her medicine locker. She had morphine, which, if she remembered his chart correctly, he'd had post-heart surgery without problems. So she got out a bottle and sterile needle and put it in his IV. "See you in the morning, Tony."

Pepper stood at the foot of the bed until he was out, and then put her hands over her face and crumpled into a chair.

Amanda went over to crouch in front of her. "Hey."

"I'm okay, I'm okay. Adrenaline dump."

"Probably some hormones, too," she offered. "You want some tea or something?"

"Tea would be nice."

She gave her a little tug. "Come on. I think you'll be spending a lot of time in this room in the next day or two. No need to start now."

"You think I need to actually go scare Steve and Nat or will they leave him be?"

"I don't think they'll come in here and try to rope him into something." She'd seen Steve's face when they got Tony onto the gurney, he knew sick when he saw it. "But it might be worth calmly telling him that it will be tomorrow before he's up for anything. I'm the doctor, I'm allowed to say that."

"Thank you," Pepper told her. "I didn't really want to threaten to throw anyone out."

"I know." She rubbed her back briskly and guided her to the kitchen to get the tea started. Rhodey was returning with the sunglasses when she came back into the hall. "I'm making Pepper tea. Will you keep anyone from disturbing Tony until at least the morning?"

"Yeah, got it. I'll go hang out with him a bit and call you if anything changes."

"He's sedated, I don't think he'll be chatty," Amanda warned him.

"That sounds entertainingly novel," Rhodey replied, and squeezed her arm.

Pepper had the mugs steeping by the time Amanda got back. "Today has been the largest emotional hurricane of my life."

She could only nod in agreement, sinking into the chair across from her at the table. Maybe she should have requested her tea be spiked. "I do feel a bit like a year has passed since this afternoon."

Pepper watched her a moment. "How are you doing, Amanda?"

She couldn't remember the last time someone had asked her that. Probably before the snap. Even Lani didn't poke her, too busy with everyone closer to the edge. It was really, really tempting to be honest. But she was talking to a pregnant woman whose fiancé was in a hospital bed. So instead, she went with, "Hey, my favorite patient is back on the planet. it's a great day."

"You should have seen his face when he realized you were still alive," Pepper commented.

Swallowing hard, she looked down at her tea. "I did not think I would ever see him again."

"It's not even the first time he's come back from the dead."

"The other ones were all before my time." She sipped her coffee. "I ever tell you about my sister?"

"I didn't know you had a sister." There was a pause, then, "Past tense?"

She nodded. "She died in a plane crash after the snap. Jessica Newbury. She was an up-and-coming reporter on MSNBC. Very pretty, very extroverted and open. Very not me." Amanda gave a wry smile. "I never had an annoying little brother. And, I suppose, Tony never had a protective older sister. Till he called me up to be his concierge doctor."

Pepper reached out to squeeze Amanda's hand. "I know he feels the same."

She nodded, swallowing again. "It feels very weird to say this to you, but I hope you understand. I think he's the only person left alive that I could say I love."

"There's more than one kind of love. In the fall, you're going to have a niece or nephew that will make that number two."

Amanda smiled. "That is very true."

"Okay," Pepper said. "I know twice in one day is unprecedented. But the first was for me. Right now I'm going to hug you for you."

She sighed and nodded. "Okay, but this is it until the kid is born."

"I promise," Pepper said with a laugh, coming around the table to wrap her arms around her.

Amanda hugged her back, resting her chin on her shoulder. "I'm going to bed. Try to get some sleep, okay?"

"I will," she said. "Thank you. For everything."

"Anytime. Really."

Plans were formulated to make another run at Thanos and his stones. Amanda decided she didn't have the mental bandwidth for hope, and anyway she had a patient to worry about. When they came home with their hollow victory, she took a private minute to cry just the same.

Tony wanted to throw Steve out, because he'd been stewing on his anger for three weeks while dying, and the was going to take a while to sort out. But everyone had the general sense that the Avengers, in some format, were still needed. And Tony was in no shape to be one. Rhodey talked him into it, something Amanda was very grateful for.

Pepper told him she wasn't going to make him share a state with Steve if he didn't want to, and they decided to move to their vineyard out west. It was isolated, and he was still in need of medical care. It was entirely natural to ask Amanda to come with them.

"You don't even have to live in the house. I'll build you a little cottage. Like victorian spinster from one of those books Pepper pretends she doesn't read. Or Grandma."

She fiddled with his IV, increasing the speed slightly. "In that case, I should live in the attic and roam the house in the dead of night, spooking the servants."

"It doesn't have an attic. It'll be a nice cottage. The one you build for the Grandma you like. Your own mother and not your mother in law."

"You do realize you're older than me and referring to me as your mother is not helping your case even a little bit." She finished with his IV and moved to sit in the chair they had set up but the bed. "You know I went to med school at Stanford."

"I do, I read your file very thoroughly. The Palo Alto PD issued you 36 parking tickets, which I found really impressive."

She smiled at that, stretching her legs out. "The front license plate ruined the lines of my car."

"You and me, Doc, we're the same kind of people." He looked at her. "Come to California with us. I'll buy you a convertible."

"I'm a doctor, I'll buy my own convertible. And yes, I'll come to California with you. I will stay in your guest room until I feel you're healthy and then you will help me find my own place."

"You got yourself a deal."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"That explains a lot about the vibe over there," Rocket commented. To Lani, he added, "Though it was way more 'resigned ex-wife' than 'I'll stab him with a harpoon'."_

_Five Years Later_

_Stark Industries Biomedical Labs, Palo Alto Califorina._

If Thanos's snap had been strategic, and designed to actually make the world a better place, he would not have killed half the doctors. There hadn't been enough of them before, and there certainly weren't after--to deal with the tidal wave of those injured in the minutes after, and then the wave behind it of sick and young and elderly who lost caregivers. The people who decided the apocalypse was great time to hurt others, and the endless, endless suicides.

There had been many short term problems, and even more long term ones. Amanda was a doctor, and she had the ear of a billionaire desperate for something, _anything_ he could fix. 

Her first order of business had been to put her doctor suits in mass production. Some for medical professionals to work in, some autonomous to run triage in hospitals. With that had come training nurses and doctors how to use them.

That had only taken a year or two. Afterwards she had settled in at Stark Biomedical, trying to fix all the long term problems that came with a population struggling to survive. Suicides were at an all time high. Research that had been half done or near completion now had no one to run it. And labs and storage centers were undermanned. Sooner or later, someone was going to figure out how easy it would be to steal some small pox or ebola samples and they were all going to be fucked.

Sometimes a change of scenery helped make grief bearable.

Lani and then Bruce eventually moved out to California, too. Bruce helped her with her projects at first, and then eventually retreated into his own labs to try and merge his human side and his Hulk side. Amanda thought it was a terrible idea, but he did somehow manage to do it, even if he was a different person on the other side. Natasha stayed in New York and kept some shattered remains of the Avengers running. Her way of trying to fix it, she supposed. Everybody did something. 

Steve, according to Nat, was spending his time in NYC, running a support group for survivors and mourning in his own way. Amanda didn't know him well, but no one deserved to deal with this alone.

Somewhere along the way, Lani worked her magic and got him and Tony talking. Cracks were made about couples therapy, but it seemed to work. By the time Morgan was walking and talking they'd at least made enough progress for her to call him Uncle Steve.

Amanda appreciated it most because Steve volunteered to help her with her serum research. It was a small side project, amongst the many bigger things that took up her attention. But it was a small piece of the life she'd once had—and curing things still mattered. Would matter once the worst passed.

"Hey, Doc? Am I aging?" Steve was out in California for her to run some tests.

She paused long enough to bring up some of her past tests on him. "Yes, you are. At roughly the same rate as the rest of us."

"Good to know. I'd hate to be immortal."

"I agree," she said. "That would be horrifying." Especially given the world they lived in.

"Might be fitting, though. Live an eternity with your failures and all."

She gave him a look. "A lifetime is quite enough."

He nodded. "Speaking of. . . you know I never thanked you for, well, after the battle. Taking care of everybody. I should have done that."

"It needed to get done, so I did it. You'd just watched your best friend turn to ash. You deserved to be in shock as much as everyone else."

"I'm Captain America," he said immediately.

She looked at him another moment, then turned her monitor around. "Says Steve Rogers on my chart." Turning it back, she added, "Have you talked about your martyr complex with Dr. Yee?" 

He snorted. "More than I want to." Well, at least he was working on it. Then he looked back up at her. "You met him, when we were fighting in Wakanda, didn't you?"

Everything in her stilled, but she managed to nod. "Barnes? Yes, he saved my life at one point."

Steve nodded. "He was a good guy. I'm still trying to figure out how to talk about him and not feel like crying."

She thought about her baby sister, surviving the snap then dying in a plane crash. And her father, all the things he'd survived, only to turn to ash alone. "I think you start with talking about them while crying. Then go from there."

Someone was tapping on her door, and she looked up to see one of her nurses. "Doc, there's a dude downstairs and reception who is asking to see Mr. Stark."

"There's always a dude trying to talk to Stark, why are you telling me about this one?"

"He, uh, says he fought him in a German airport and turned into a giant. Should I get Dr. Yee?"

She was about to agree, when she noticed Steve had gone white as a sheet. "Is there a video feed?" he asked.

The nurse nodded so Amanda had FRIDAY bring it up. A dark haired guy in a t-shirt and flannel was patiently arguing with the front desk. "You know him?" she asked Steve.

"That's Scott Lang," he replied. "He vanished in the snap."

They stared at each other a moment. Finally, she said, "FRIDAY, have Beth send him to conference room 3. And have Tony and Lani meet us there."

"It's Tuesday," FRIDAY replied. "Mr. Stark is at preschool."

She shrugged and gestured for Steve to follow her. "We'll fill him in later."

In the conference room, Scott talked about about quantum physics at a level above Amanda's head, and she could see Steve looked equally baffled about the mechanics—but speechless at the point this guy was making. After a moment, he managed, "So, you're talking about a time machine?"

"No no, it's not exactly, it's . . . okay, yes, it's a time machine."

Amanda and Steve exchanged a look. Then she said. "FRIDAY, tell Mr. Stark to skip ice cream after preschool and get here as soon as possible."

"In the meantime," Steve said. "How about you go through the mechanics one more time?"

"Before I do that, do you guys have any food? I'm starving."

They ordered lunch, and were eating when Tony finally showed up. He had Morgan on his hip. "I'll still be hearing whining about the ice cream tomorrow morning and I have roast in the crock pot, _what_ is so urgent?" He put Morgan down in one of the chairs and swung around a pink backpack he'd had over his shoulder. 

Amanda was used to this, but Scott was staring with his mouth open. "You have a crockpot?"

"Why wouldn't I?" he asked, digging in Morgan's bag for a coloring book and crayons.

"You're Tony Stark," Scott replied, as thought that explained everything.

"Yeah, and I-" he looked up then, and stopped dead. The crayons spilled out of the box in his hand and rolled across the table. "Lang?"

"Thank you for joining us," Amanda said. "Have a seat, we're talking quantum physics and time travel."

"Hi Auntie Mandy," Morgan said. She was certain Tony had taught her that on purpose, but at this point she couldn't get her to stop.

"Hi, pumpkin," she said. "I'm sorry about the ice cream, I owe you a sundae."

"Time travel is impossible. And a terrible idea."

"I know what it sounds like," Scott said. "But if we strictly follow the rules of time travel. No talking to our past selves, no betting on sporting events-"

Tony held up a hand. "I'm going to stop you right there, Scott. Are you seriously telling me that your plan to save the universe is based on Back to the Future?"

Looking a bit like a chastised boy, Scott's, "No," was very quiet.

"Good, you had be worried there."

Amanda looked over at Lani, who was watching Tony intently. "Tony," Lani said. "Why doesn't Scott start from the beginning. And you can raise your concerns when he's done."

He looked over at her a moment, lost whatever staring contest they had, and sat down, doing his own impression of a chastised boy.

Scott took a breath. "Okay. So I was in the quantum realm. . ."

Tony wasn't anymore convinced when Scott was done, rattling off any number of reasons why it wouldn't work. He was, at least, less of a dick about it.

After he'd left with Morgan, she walked Steve and Scott out. "I'm sorry. About Tony. I really thought he'd jump on this as a new project."

"I should have known the minute he walked in the door," Scott said. "I was distracted by the crock pot."

"He has a lot to lose," she agreed. "If you failed."

"Yeah. The Dad in me gets it." 

"There are a lot of parents who already lost everything they could," Steve said. "Barton lost his entire family."

Amanda patted his arm. "Lani and I will poke at him. I don't promise anything but-" She shrugged. "With time travel we have a little time, right?"

It was lucky that they did, apparently, have all the time they needed. Amanda wasn't surprised that once the idea was put in Tony's head, he couldn't let it be, and the next time she talked to him, he'd more or less fixed time travel. His conscience—and his wife—did the rest.

By then, Steve had taken Scott back to the New York HQ to talk to Nat, so they had to all pile on Tony's private jet so he could make his grand entrance. Amanda didn't know how much input she'd have on quantum physics, but by now she was pretty sure Tony saw her as a good luck charm or something, so she packed a bag and went along, as did Lani, who was also doubting her usefulness.

Both of them changed their minds when Banner and Rocket brought home a clearly depressed, alcoholic Thor who insisted he was fine. 

"You are not taking him anywhere until I untangle some of this," Lani informed the rest of them after Banner mentioned he'd started crying at the mention of Thanos's name.

"He needs to snap out of it is what he needs," Rocket said.

Lani pinned him with a Look. "He has untreated PTSD that he is medicating by being drunk constantly. One does not snap out of that. Not without treatment and therapy."

"And medical observation so he doesn't die from the withdrawal," Amanda added.

"As far as I know, Asgardians don't have those problems," Banner said. "They're built different. I know someone who dried out on the ark, and she was fine."

Well, that was a relief. She had not been looking forward to restraining Thor during DTs. "More time for talk therapy, then."

"It's going to take us at least a month to build the damn time machine," Tony said. "Lani can work her magic while we do so and we'll see where we stand."

Lani looked over at Banner. "The person you mentioned from the ark. Did she survive the snap? Talking to her might be helpful."

He sighed heavily. "I can try. Don't know how receptive she'll be. They were lovers and then he left her to run the entire colony on her own, so he could drink and play video games."

"She should talk to Pepper," Tony commented.

"That explains a lot about the vibe over there," Rocket commented. To Lani, he added, "Though it was way more 'resigned ex-wife' than 'I'll stab him with a harpoon'."

Her mouth pursed. "Maybe I'll feel her out one on one, first. I assume they have phones in New Asgard?"

"Yeah, it's just like a normal town in Norway. Only full of. . .quasi immortal super-strength beings."

"Right, I'll start there. Build your thing. And no one help him get any more alcohol. The least you can do it not enable."

While the building of the time machine was going on, they started brainstorming how they might actually do this. Namely, go get the stones from different places in the past, make their own gauntlet. 

Thor's ex showed up—and did strike up a friendship with Pepper—which seemed to be helping Lani sort him out. Though that process was causing it to be gloomy and rainy outside, and they once had an argument of such magnitude that lightning set the roof of Pepper and Tony's house on fire.

Valkyrie did have useful information, though. "There are two legends about getting the soul stone. They're so old no one knows them anymore, but I'm about 2,000 years older than Thor—don't ask, weird planet. To start. . . who here is the most evil?"

There was a pause while they all considered that. "Like, morally bankrupt?" Tony asked. "Or capable of evil actions."

"Nobody who is morally bankrupt would be in this room," Nat said. "They're all out profiting from the apocalypse."

"I mean. . . one of the legends is that the path is paved with the souls of those you have taken. Sending someone with a high body count would be a good idea."

"Hey, mine's like 5 trillion," Thor grumbled from the corner he was sitting in. She turned and made a face at him, then looked back at the rest of them. "I don't think accidental or collateral or battle count. They mean souls you personally took." Nebula opened her mouth and Valkyrie cut her off with, "Not you."

Nat raised a hand. "I was an assassin."

"So was I," Clint said. The two of them exchanged a look. "My count is higher."

"The second legend is there's a stonekeeper, and you must incapacitate him and get him to tell you where the stone is. Persuasion? Begging? Torture? Nobody knows."

Another brief pause. "So Clint and Nat will be going to Vormir?" Tony said, to a circle of nods.

Slowly they sorted who would go where. "I think Doc should stay here," Tony announced one night over terrible Chinese food.

She squinted at him, chewing a potsticker. "Can't tell if you're serious or trying to reverse psychology me."

He looked over at her. "Do you want to go?"

"Not really, but I also like to be contrary, so you've got me in a bind here."

"No, it makes sense," Steve said. "Anybody gets hurt, we send them right back. You can be waiting with equipment."

"See, he gave a good reason," Amanda said, pointing at Steve with her chop sticks. "That's how you talk me into things."

"That's what I was getting at," Tony grumbled.

She was officially put on homefront duty while the others got their assignments. Lani continued to work with Thor, with input and support from Valkyrie. By the time Clint took a test run and came back with his son's baseball glove, Thor was more or less on stable footing once again. He was still dealing with panic attacks now and then, but the drinking had been scaled way down and he was participating in the planning sessions without getting distracted or crying.

They'd offered Valkyrie a spot on their time travel teams, but she told them no way in hell was she messing with spacetime. She did volunteer to come see them off, and her and Amanda and Pepper pulled up chairs by the time machine while they all prepped. 

"Where's Morgan?" Amanda asked.

"Happy took her down to the city to go to a children's museum. Tony has a rule about her not being in the building when he's working on anything with the slightest chance of blowing up. And someone—ahem—wrecked my house on the other side of the lake."

"That was a third my fault at most," Valkyrie said.

Amanda gamely turned to her. "What did you do?"

"Me, nothing. Other than being part of an argument. When Thor is drunk enough and mad enough he can't control the lighting. Only hits him. But also, you know, the roof above him."

Lani had been up on the platform talking to Steve, and floated down to the three of them. "Looks like they're ready."

"Steve's going to need to make a speech," Pepper said. 

"Should we go listen?" Amanda asked. "They're usually pretty good."

It was, in fact, quite rousing. Steve knew how to inspire his troops, she'd give him that. 

"Hey, Doc, can you go mash the button?" Tony called, because his idea of inspiring the troops was usually yelling at them about their paycheck.

"This big red one that says self destruct?" she called back.

"No the blue one next to it."

"The eject one?"

"Children," Nat said dryly.

"Good luck," Amanda called. "See you in five seconds." She pushed the button manner had shown her. There were whirring noises and the big black mass above the platform started to segment and swirl. Lights flashed, machinery blurred and all of them disappeared.

Pepper held her breath. Valkyrie closed her eyes and recited what sounded like a prayer in a language Amanda didn't speak.

The machinery whirred, and then then the light again, and then they were back on the platform. Plus. . . a horse. With wings.

"Did we get 'em all?" Banner asked.

"Are you telling me-" Rhodey started, and then trailed off. "What the hell?"

People were yelling all at once. 

"Where did that come from?"

"What is that?"

"Why is there a horse here? How did it not die?"

"My mother cast a spell on it," Thor said. "It's a pegasus, not a horse. They're from Asgard. And it's a gift."

Valkyrie went bounding up the ramp. "Are you out of your mind?" She probably was trying to be stern, but laughter overrode it. 

"I am perfectly sane. And completely sober."

"You'd make Morgan's life if you let her ride that thing," Tony said.

All of them had gathered around the pegasus. Everyone except Clint, who stood motionless where he'd appeared, staring at the floor.

Amanda started up the ramp. "Clint are you hurt? Do you need-" She paused, awareness that something was _wrong_ prickling at her.

She heard the hum of Lani's chair and she came up next to her. "Clint?" she asked softly. "Where's Nat?"

The rest of them were abruptly silent as they all looked around, counting heads, realizing one was missing. Everyone turned to look at Clint, who still hadn't spoken. But he did look up from the floor and even across the platform, Amanda could see tears in his eyes.

Thirty minutes later, she stood next to Lani in a second floor meeting room, watching Steve, Clint, Thor, Tony, and Banner all yell at each other on the dock. "Shouldn't you be down there?" she asked the psychologist.

"FRIDAY has me patched in to eavesdrop," she replied, pointing to an earpiece she had in. "They're doing all right. They're grieving. It's necessary."

Banner ripped up a bench and threw it into the lake.

Amanda raised her brows in Lani's direction, but she was smiling. "They're coming back up to work on the glove."

Sure enough, the men started filing back up the path. They went into the hallway, and found Valkyrie coming towards them with a bag over her should. "I was looking for you guys. I'm gonna head back to Norway."

"Are you going to ride your pegasus?" Amanda couldn't help but ask.

That got a small smile. "Yeah." She paused. "What happened to that woman is a little bit on me. My legends were wrong."

Lani shook her head. "Natasha would not want you to blame yourself. Even a little. She made her decision."

"If anyone but Clint and Nat had gone, we wouldn't have gotten the stone," Amanda added. "None of them love each other. Not like they do."

"Then fate willed it so. But, Thor is going to take it as something he needs to feel guilty for and I'm just not up for. . ." She huffed a sigh, and shook her head. "Best I clear out, I think. I wish you guys luck, though. Maybe we'll have never had this conversation."

"Thank you," they said in unison.

Lani added, "Travel safe."

Valkyrie gave them a nod and headed for the main stairs. Amanda and Lani made their way to the lab to find Tony just finishing putting the glove together.

They'd had a very long debate about how to go about this. What to do with the stones when they got them. They'd decided to roll back time and undo the snap, erasing not only the lost lives, but the emotional devastation, additional deaths, and universe-wide chaos and suffering that had followed.

Tony had been the hardest sell on that one, on account of Morgan. Amanda had promised him Morgan would still be born, because Pepper had already been pregnant. That she was only about 95% sure of that, conception dates being unpredictable and all, was a secret she would take to her grave. There were too many lives at stake. It was already an enormous thing to ask of him and Pepper. There was no need to make it worse.

Pepper's only condition was that she be allowed to be in the room with them and keep her memories of the last 5 years. Just in case.

So while the men argued over who would hold it, Amanda helped Pepper get into her Dr. Death suit. She was wearing the hospital suit, because god knew what shape the glove-wearer would be in.

When they were both suited up, Lani came over. "I'm going to wait outside."

Amanda and Pepper both stared at her. "If you're not in the room, you won't remember," Amanda said. "You'll forget the last five years."

"I know," Lani said calmly. "And I think that's for the best. You're all going to need me to work through this. To be back in a world that doesn't remember what you have. And I will be a better therapist for you all if I'm not carrying my own burdens."

That was. . . remarkably noble of her. Lani was a special kind of strong. "Are you going to believe us? That all this happened and you don't remember?"

Lani held out a piece of paper with a random alphanumeric series on it. "Give me this. I'll believe you."

Amanda tucked it into her suit, nodded. "Well. . . I guess we'll see you five years ago."

Banner seemed to have won the right to wear the glove, though Thor was clearly pretty mad about that. It occurred to her that Valkyrie had clearly chosen not to remember either.

The wish they would ask the glove was for time to roll back, and everyone Thanos harmed to be healthy and well, in the snap and in the war. They'd be exactly where they were, too, so the crew in Wakanda could kill Thanos again. They knew how to get ahold of Carol, and Tony would keep all the people stranded on Titan waiting there for rescue. They were all as ready as they could be.

Banner stepped up to where the glove sat while the rest of them braced themselves in a circle around him. Everyone with a suit closed their helmets and face plates. Tony and Amanda put up hard light shields to help protect themselves and a very un-armored Clint from any damage. Tony asked FRIDAY to lockdown the building. When the last of the metal shutters settled into place, he nodded to Banner.

Banner slipped the glove on.

It immediately started to glow, trails of light lancing up his arm. the glove seemed to grow and meld onto his arm and Banner hit a knee, groaning in pain. It didn't seem to be getting better, and the others were all yelling over each other trying to get him to talk to them. Amanda dropped her shield and stepped forward, ready to rip it off herself.

"I'm all right," he finally managed, waving her away. "I got it." With what seemed like immense effort and pain, he put his thumb to his middle finger and snapped. 

There was a flash of blinding white light. When it receded, she expected to be in Wakanda, but was instead in the exact same spot. Banner flung the glove off and collapsed. Before she could move, Amanda reeled at the apparent fact that _nothing_ had happened. They'd failed.

Except she could see Clint's left arm out of the corner of her eye, and it didn't have a single tattoo.

The rest of them were talking over each other again. She dropped to her knees, spraying Banner's arm with foam to stop the burn. Steve and Thor dropped to his other side and he reached for them, grabbing Steve's hand. "Did it work?"

The other two opened their mouths, but she could tell from their faces they didn't know. So she said, "Yes," as she bent to inspect his arm. "Clint's tattoos are gone."

Thor touched his head and laughed. "So is my _hair_."

"So is Scott," Tony said. "But the rest of are here. What the hell happened?"

"FRIDAY, what date is it?" Rhodey asked.

She gave them back the date of the day before Carol showed up. Three weeks after the snap.

"But if we're still after the snap-"

Before Rhodey could finish, the metal shutters rolled up, revealing the halls and rooms next to them.

Which were full of people. People who had been snapped.

"Holy shit," Tony said.

"Doc," FRIDAY said inside her suit. "I have an incoming call from your sister. Should I tell her you're not available?"

Her heart lurched and she opened her mouth to answer when she noticed Banner staring up at the skylight above them. She shifted and looked up to see an enormous space ship hovering over them. "Shit. Everyone down!" she yelled a second before the world exploded.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Did it occur to you it might be a bad idea to wield the thing that almost burned the Hulk's arm off? Or were you too busy formulating your pithy one liner?"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the chapter where Doc fixes the end of Endgame. We wrote that particular scene before we wrote any of the rest of the story.
> 
> Warning for those who might be sensitive. . . there's a pretty graphic description of a battlefield amputation. I didn't add a violence warning because it's in the clinical perspective of a doctor performing surgery, but I wanted to give a heads up.

As far as Bucky knew, Thanos had vanished into some kind of portal at the end of the fight. He'd taken the stones with him, so the entire world was braced for something to happen. The casualties had been impossibly light. Even Vision had survived having the stone pulled out of his head. The mystical types among them had felt it was an indication of something supernatural--perhaps something done with the stones in the future.

Bucky tended to believe that logic, and he went back to his goats. Out of caution, he decided to keep the arm on a bit, just in case. 

A couple weeks later Shuri careened up to his house in a shuttle, which she never brought this close to the animals. "Hurry! Get in!"

He stared at her. "What?"

"He's back. _Get. In_."

Her tone and words were enough to get him to curtail any other further questions and hop into the shuttle. She did a 180 and blasted back towards the capital, fast enough he felt like his stomach had stayed back with the goats.

He expected to see the army gathering at the border again, the alien ships back on the fields. Like deja vu. But there was nothing. No ships in the sky, no weird alien dogs.

"Where is he?" he finally asked Shuri.

"New York," she replied. They swung over another hill and she could see the Wakandan army in formation, and some guy all in black opening a yellow-tinged portal. Whatever was on the other side of it looked like Armageddon.

Bucky stared at it. "Please tell me you have guns for me."

She gestured vaguely behind her and he turned, spotting a metal case that looked like weapon storage. He opened it, delighted to find a selection of both her energy blasting weapons and good old fashioned bullet firing ones. There was even a wicked looking knife.

"You're my favorite princess," he told her

"Yibambe," she replied, tilting the shuttle to dump them and his gear out. She landed on her feet. He did not. The shuttle went flying through the portal and hit something on the other side with an explosion.

He got his feet under him, strapping on all the weapons he could carry as they walked to join the army at the portal. T'Challa was there, with Okoye. They both gave him a nod, which he returned, settling his assault rifle into his hands.

There was the deja vu, the massive alien army and ships on the other side. Shuri had said it was New York, but it looked like another planet. It was worse, and the enemy much larger, than the first battle had been. And he could see through the portal, there was a single man standing against them.

It took him two point eighth seconds to recognize that shoulder to hip ratio and realize it was Steve. He sighed deeply. Some things never changed.

T'Challa started the war chant and they marched through the portal, onto charred, rubble strewn ground. A glance around showed dozens of other portals, all with armies and fighters streaming out of them, falling into formation at Steve's back.

He could see the other Avengers filling in and climbing into view. Steve hadn't, technically, tried to take on an entire army himself. Technically.

Steve glanced over his shoulder, looking at the crowd gathering. The enemy seemed to be so surprised at their appearance they didn't take the obvious opportunity to attack, giving everyone spilling out of the portals to fill in the ranks.

"Avengers!" Steve called, holding his hand out for Thor's hammer to fly into. "Assemble." There was a roar, and everyone charged, from their side and the enemy's. The two sides crashed together, weapons firing, metal clanking, people screaming.

In a battle like this, the only thing you could focus on was the enemy in front of you and maybe the allies at your side. Bucky was glad to be surrounded by the Wakandans, they were all competent, intense warriors that he didn't need to sorry about. They plowed through the alien combatants like they weren't worth breaking a sweat for.

Several Iron Man suits flew above them. One bulky one he didn't recognize swung by and sent several missiles into the crowd in front of him. He waved a thanks and they waved back, zipping on again.

Eventually it became clear there was a mission on the field other than just killing the other guys. Somehow, Steve's team had an Infinity glove that they were trying to get to a van behind enemy lines and a rather frantic game of hot potato was being played to get it there.

Arial bombardment started, which made it impossible to see. He remembered belatedly he had his kimoyo beads on and stuck on in his ear, knowing it would patch him into the comms channel.

"-got the glove?" Steve was asking.

"Spiderkid," Sam responded, sounding out of breath.

"Pepper, up for babysitting?" That he recognized as Dr. Newbury.

Two suits zipped past firing at the mass of aliens starting to converge on the kid. Bucky figured it was best to follow the general direction and help thin the herd.

Spiderkid, gauntlet and all, went over his head on the back of a winged horse, which seemed super weird but he was really done being surprised. 

Suddenly the giant ship above them stopped shooting at the ground and shooting in the sky. A burst of light came through, went straight through the ship and blew it up. It wasn't until the light started drifting down to earth that he realized it was a woman.

"I feel like I missed something."

"Buddy, you have no idea," the raccoon said, running past him.

"Danvers," Steve said on the comms. "We could use an assist."

Bucky saw the streak of light cross the battlefield, and then there was an explosion with a shockwave so large it blew everyone off their feet. Anybody not enhanced or a in a suit was going to take a lot longer to get up. Bucky's ears were ringing. He could she a group of them—including Steve—pulling themselves up to fight Thanos, who was very nearby. Bucky leapt up and ran towards them.

*

"I am inevitable." Thanos was a pompous blowhard and Amanda was really tired of the sound of his voice. She glanced up at him anyway, and saw to her horror he had the glove on. 

The glove with no stones in it.

She was moving before she'd really processed it. That was what emergency training did to you. Stuff had to be instinctive; if you stopped to think you'd be too late to do anything. So she was already running before she'd consciously remembered who'd had the glove last. And before that thought had finished, she was remembering what Rocket had told them when they'd started this whole crazy plan.

_One person holds a stone, sooner or later they go ka-boom. We only managed it because we held hands like a bunch of idiots and shared it._

The stones were starting to light up on Tony's hand, like he'd just stuck them to his suit. She kicked on her thrusters and grabbed the arm of the human-looking guy she flew past. "FRIDAY get everyone!" she shouted.

"And I. . .am. . "

She skidded along the ground like she was sliding into base, dragging her new friend with her, and got ahold of Tony's ankle. 

". . .Iron Man." He snapped his fingers.

There was a blinding surge of light. She felt white hot energy surge into her through her hand, most of it into the suit, down her arm, across her heart—which mercifully did not stop—and back out the other side. Tony collapsed but she held on, unable to move.

She could still feel the energy of the stones, but it lessened in surges like heartbeats. Each person who grabbed on absorbed what they could and passed it on. She glanced back and saw how far the chain of people went.

The person she'd grabbed first had a metal arm.

She looked at Barnes, wondering if she should apologize. She knew there was some bad blood between him and Tony. He didn't look pissed, just a little stunned. He'd grabbed Clint Barton, who was hanging onto T'Challa. Then Thor, Rocket and his tree, Carol Danvers, Sam Wilson, Steve Rogers, Wanda, Rhodey and more she couldn't clearly see. The white glow raced between them. Some people it skimmed, some were powerful enough it was very noticeable when the connected. In the distance there was a bright flare of a large group lighting up at once.

Looking back at Tony, she found his staring at her, the side of his face burned and looking shocked he wasn't dead. The energy was still thrumming through them, but the initial surge had passed and she could catch her breath enough to say, "And _we_ are Avengers."

That got her a grin, then it turned into a grimace and he tipped his head back. "Doc," FRIDAY said, "Half my sensors in his suit are shorted, but his vitals are all over the place and the suit is losing power."

"Are the bad guys dead?" she yelled, not really caring who answered.

"They dusted," Rhodey said over the comm, sounding awed. He took a breath. "Is he-?"

"I'll tell you in a minute." She tugged Barnes' arm. "Hold his ankle, I need to do an exam." The power was still thrumming and she was concerned if she let go he'd be overwhelmed.

Barnes did as she said, freeing up her hands to check Tony. His suit was toast, especially the right arm. The stones - and the armor he'd attached them to - seemed to have fused into his hand. Hence why they were still feeling the power. It wasn't going to stop until he'd released them.

_Shit, shit, shit._ She started opening compartments in her suit, pulling out supplies. "FRIDAY, can you get his suit off?"

"I can but I'm not sure-"

Amanda was already shrugging the extra bits of her suit off. The full hospital suit had non-nannite pieces to carry her equipment. "Good. On my signal, you're going to retract his and get mine on him. Then I'm going to need his BP and heart rate."

"I can't get the right arm off." FRIDAY told her.

"I figured, that'll be my job." She got the last of her hospital off and shifted as close to Tony as possible. She curled one hand over the arc reactor on his chest and the other around hers. "Now, FRIDAY." She yanked his reactor off and replaced it with hers, even while his suit poured off him and hers slithered down her arms and onto him.

"Heartrate is 160," FRIDAY reported. "BP is 98 over 70."

That was terrible, but not imminently dangerous. "Tell me if that bottom number drops under 65." She shifted her focus to his arm. The nannites had left a line between her replacement suit and his old one, about four inches below the elbow. His whole arm was burnt, but that seemed to be the line between blackened skin and red.

Leaning over, she caught Tony's gaze. "Hey. Iron Man. I need to amputate your arm or you're going to die."

He grit his teeth. "Like. . .right now?"

"Yes. I have anesthesia and the nannites will help tourniquet it. But the stones' power is going to overwhelm you if I don't get it off."

"How do you know that?" he grunted, and she thought amputation without anesthesia would probably hurt less than it clearly felt now. She stabbed a needle with painkillers into his arm above the burn.

"Even if she doesn't, I do." Carol was standing over them. "You're lucky it hasn't already. I shortened the chain. Six of us that can all take one each." In her peripheral vision she could see Thor on Carol's other side, and then Hulk's feet."

Tony smiled, which meant the opiates were kicking in. "I'm Iron Man."

Pepper landed next to them in Amanda's Dr. Death suit. Her face plate retracted and she said, "Oh my God."

"Hey, Pep," he said. "Always wanted to be a Civil War reenactor."

She reached her hand out, and Amanda shouted, "Don't touch him!" so loud and forceful that Pepper actually jumped.

"He's still holding the Stones," she explained, laying out her surgery tools. "It'll hurt you."

"How do we-" Pepper broke off as she saw Amanda's tools. "Oh."

Amanda would probably take a moment to reassure her. Doc did not have the time. "The burn is down to the bone," she said, tying a tourniquet just below his elbow. The nannites helpfully filled in to that line. She pulled her scalpel out of the surgery kit she'd detached from her suit. "So this should go quickly. Anyone with a queasy stomach should look away."

She had barely gotten through the first layer of muscle when she heard someone, maybe Sam Wilson, yell, "Cap's down!"

Amanda sighed deeply. "Could someone go take his pulse and tell me how bad it is?"

There was more shouting, but for a moment Amanda focused on not fucking up the nerves she was severing. She'd operated on people she cared about, and she'd operated in the middle of a war zone. She had never, admittedly, done both at once, but she knew how to focus and compartmentalize. Wilson reported back back Steve's very slow and erratic heart rate.

"Strange," Tony said, trying to move his arm. 

Carol put her foot on his shoulder to keep him still. "What's strange?"

"Strange. He's a doctor. Steve."

Stephen Strange rang a very distant bell, which was good enough for her. "Strange! Go check Rogers!"

"I'm holding back a lake right now!" came the reply.

She ground her teeth. "Wanda, are you busy right now?"

"On it!"

She bent back over Tony's arm, carefully cauterizing blood vessels. "Pepper, I need you to go help Strange, your suit has the equipment he needs."

Her answer was immediate and emphatic. " _No._ "

Amanda looked up at her. "I am doing everything in my power to keep Tony alive. You know what he means to me. Steve is down and you are the one with the equipment to help him." She didn't budge. "Pepper, I'm only one person. Please."

Pepper blew out a shaky breath. Then her faceplate closed and she took off.

She was probably going to hear about that later, but she couldn't worry about it now. She had an arm to amputate.

Years ago Tony had gotten onto the idea of making her laser scalpels that could shoot right out of the fingertips of her gauntlets, so she could do surgery by pointing. She'd tried explaining that it was like painting and needed to be done with her fingers holding something, for muscle memory if nothing else. He'd made endless variants of handheld ones, but she'd never found one she liked as much as well honed steel. But she was grateful to have it in her kit right then, because it cut bone great.

This not being 1864, and her not being an ortho, she didn't amputate a lot of limbs. She'd certainly never done it with this kind of civilian audience, including her patient, watching. Tony didn't need to see a bone saw.

"I knew you'd use that eventually," he said, sounding smug and stoned at the same time.

"Yes, you're very smart." She'd done most of the fiddly bits and just had to detach the last of the connective tissue, so she felt comfortable enough adding, "Did it occur to you it might be a bad idea to wield the thing that almost burned the Hulk's arm off? Or were you too busy formulating your pithy one liner?"

He didn't answer and she glanced up at him to see his eyes closed and he'd gone pale. "FRI-"

"BP is 90 over 66. Heartbeat erratic."

"Fuck," she whispered. Shock was setting in, which meant she was out of time. She started cutting through the last of his connective tissue double time. "Put the faceplate down, start pumping O2." She heard the swoosh that meant she had obeyed.

She snipped through the last of the tissue and knocked the remnant of his hand and glove away from them both. The humming energy finally stopped and she felt her shoulders relax. She hadn't realized how annoying that had been until it was gone.

His skin was far too burned to do a closed incision, not to mention the boatload of bacteria that had probably gotten in there. So she got to work setting up a couple drains and wrapping him up with sterile dressings. Cho's second skin would be able to close it up once they got somewhere sterile and could properly clean it out.

"Has anyone called for medical back up or anything?" she asked the area at large.

"The National Guard is on its way," Rhodey said.

"Doc. . ." Sam said. "There aren't any wounded. I just did a flyover and there aren't even bodies."

That was impossible. She'd seen people fall. The giants and dreadnoughts alone. . .

She taped down the last of the dressing and slipped a cotton stocking over the whole stump of his arm. Then she patted Tony's chest. "Good job."

In the distance, she could hear sirens and helicopters now, as local emergency services finally approached. They weren't here yet, though, so she busied herself pulling out an IV bag and stand and setting it up. FRIDAY gave her enough of an opening to start the IV and she started pumping fluids into him.

"BP's stable," FRIDAY told her. Then a minute or two later. "BP 99 over 72 and rising."

She rocked back on her heels and blew out a breath, tipping her head back. "Tony's stable," she said on the comms, for Pepper's peace of mind at the very least.

"Thank you," she replied. "So's Steve."

Amanda smiled a little. "Thank you."

She became aware of the people behind her. Rhodey had taken his suit off, and crouched down on Tony's other side. She could see Thor and a few others standing around Carol while she tried to pry the stones out of the mess of melted metal and burned flesh that once been Tony's hand.

Peter Parker was standing on her other side, hands over his mouth and crying his eyes out. When they made eye contact, he squeaked out, "Doc?"

"Hey, Peter," she said gently. She got to her feet and looked him over. "You need a hug?"

He gave a little nod, and then practically fell into her. She wrapped her arms around him, rubbing his back and rocking him a little as he sobbed into her shoulder. There were no other wounded. The cavalry was almost here. And she felt like she was either going to cry herself or shatter in a thousand pieces. So it seemed that hugging a traumatized sixteen year old was the best things she could be doing.

The helos finally arrived, including medvac, so she could have both Tony and Steve loaded up to be taken down to Manhattan--Tony for the burn unit and an orthopedic surgeon she trusted, and Steve because nobody else was going to know how to treat a supersoldier. It took her a minute to remember what year it was and that she still had admitting privileges and New York Pres.

She'd had a lab an infirmary at the compound in 2018. . . but there really didn't seem to be much left but rubble.

She handed Peter off to Clint, who was a father and had experience with tears. He promised to get in touch with May Parker and make sure Peter got home. Rhodey told her he'd deal with the mess at the HQ. So she grabbed Pepper and climbed on the helo with Tony on it, riding it down to Manhattan with them.

Once there, she got Tony settled in ICU. She gave the nurses an update as they hooked up monitors, changed his IV bag and got him on stronger medication, at which point she could remove the suit she'd put on him. His BP was still low, but out of the danger zone and his heartbeat was fine, so she asked them to clean out and redress his wound and have Sanchez in ortho come check him out as soon as he could. The burns were pretty extensive, but mostly second degree past his shoulder. Lucky indeed.

Then she went to up to the regular rooms to deal with Rogers.

He, it seemed, had had a heart attack, something she'd have sworn was impossible for someone with active serum. He also showed fading Lichtenburg figures, the fractal scars left behind on lightning strike victims. She remembered him swinging Thor's old hammer around during the battle. Apparently, not even a super soldier could stand multiple lightning strikes in a short period. Add on being part of the chain to offset the stones' power and, well. . .

"You have massive heart damage," she told him once she'd read the last of his tests. "Likely permanent."

"Nothing on me is ever permanent." He sounded oddly sad when he said that.

"Normally, I would agree. But this isn't a wound, it's the functioning of your heart. You age, your muscles and organs deteriorate. You just put your heart through a couple thousand marathons in half an hour. Even you can't fix that."

He looked at the ceiling. "So are you saying I'm dying?"

"Not immediately." He was almost as frustrating to doctor as Tony, and that was staying something. "It is my medical advice that you retire from superheroing and spend the rest of your life doing nothing more vigorous than gardening or good sex."

"What the hell kind of gardening do you do that those are in the same category?" Amanda turned at the voice to see Sam in the doorway. "'Sup, Doc?" he added.

"Hi Sam," she replied. "I'm a terrible gardener."

He grinned and gave her a little half hug before going over to Steve's bed. She turned to leave, and nearly crashed into Barnes coming in the door. He cupped a hand around her elbow to steady her.

"Hi," she said, feeling oddly awkward. Fatigue was getting to her. "Please make sure he listens to the nurses."

His sigh made him sound his entire hundred years old. "The best I can do is try."

"That's all I ask." She paused. "Sorry about drafting you into the human chain before."

"I'm guessing if you'd grabbed someone who wasn't enhanced, we'd all be dead. You grabbed him before I grabbed someone else and. . . well, I was glad to have a metal arm."

She winced, remembering how very unpleasant that initial surge had been. "Sorry for that, too, then."

He lifted a shoulder. "I've done a lot of harm in my life. I'll take some good even if it hurts."

Lani would probably want to pick that apart, but it sounded pretty reasonable to Amanda. "All right. I'm going to find somewhere to pass out. Welcome back to the land of the living, both of you," she added over her shoulder to Sam.

She'd just gotten a nurse to remind her where the on-call room was so she could nap when Sanchez paged her, and she had to go downstairs and talk to him about Tony's arm. When she got down there, there was also a plastic surgeon and the two of them were arguing over whether the burns on the rest of his arm could be healed with skin grafts, or if more arm needed to come off.

Sanchez was in favor of saving his elbow at all costs, which was why Amanda liked Sanchez. But it was good that Tony was sedated, or the room might explode with the sheer volume of ego contained therein. Pepper was in a chair in there, but she got up when she saw Amanda and hustled her out into the hallway.

"Hi," Pepper said. "I have your suit." She pulled reactor and nannite housing case out. "And I'm so sorry."

Amanda took the reactor, shaking her head. "You don't have to apologize. I'm sorry I had to send you away."

Pepper blew out a breath. "So. Um. I'm pretty certain I'm not pregnant."

Amanda blinked, then shook her head. "I don't - You were definitely pregnant with Morgan before we killed Thanos, which is where we are - when we are, now. There's no reason -"

"Auntie Mandy!" She swung around, and barreling down the hall was the only person on the face of the earth allowed to call her Mandy. She had what looked like an ice cream sandwich in one had and popsicle in the other. Happy was trailing after her. "Auntie Mandy I got two ice creams!"

_Oh, holy shit._ On autopilot, she crouched and caught the little girl, scooping her up onto her hip. "Two ice creams are way better than one."

Morgan hugged her, probably getting both of those ice creams in Amanda's hair. But she hugged her back, stunned. "Hey, Morg? Don't you ever doubt your Daddy loves you more than anything."

She leaned back, smiling. "He loves me 3000."

"Yes. Yes, he does."

"I don't understand," Pepper said, lowering her voice. "Happy called to ask if we were okay and should he bring her here. They were at the museum. There's a carseat in his car. . ." She shook her head in astonishment.

Morgan wiggled to get down, so Amanda set her back on her feet. "We can check when he's awake, but I'm guessing Tony wanted her back and added that onto his snap. Or wish, or whatever we're calling it. He healed everybody on the battlefield that was injured or dead, too. I know I saw some people fall, and by the time Sam could check, there were no casualties."

"I didn't know that was possible."

"It's my understanding that with the stones, everything is possible."

Pepper exhaled, her shoulders relaxing. Like she'd been waiting for this to turn out to be fake. "Okay. Is Tony going to be awake enough to see her any time soon?"

"I have to check with Sanchez and the one I don't know in there." She waved at Tony's room. "But I'm guessing it'll be a few hours, if not morning. His burns need tending, and the amputation wound needs cleaning - both of which are painful, it's better if he's still out for it. The ortho might want to do a second surgery to give the stump a better chance of taking a prosthetic, or take off a little more of the damaged tissue. I trust Sanchez, so I'm leaving that to him." She rubbed a hand over her face. "We're in 2018 so they should have Cho's second skin tech, that will handle grafting and wound closure, but that's for the future. The big concern is the shock, which so far we're on top of."

Pepper was quiet a moment. "How close was it?"

She blew out a breath. Pepper liked honesty, even if it sucked. "If I hadn't been there, you'd have lost him. If the amputation had taken another five minutes, the shock would probably have been irreversible."

"Thank you," she replied, reaching out to squeeze Amanda's arm. "I'm going to go update the waiting room."

"Good. I'm going to go find somewhere to lay-"

"Amanda Miriam Newbury what do you have against answering your goddamed phone."

She felt her eyes widen and her heart stuttered in her chest. She looked over her shoulder to see her baby sister storming down the hallway, clearly in a pique. "Jessie?" she whispered.

"I'm at work and I see that your headquarters exploded and you are refusing to answer my calls." She stopped with her hands on her hips. "Dad is worried sick and calling me, neither of us can get ahold of you. I finally hear that the injured Avengers were taken here and I knew you'd be with-"

Amanda lurched forward and threw herself at her sister, wrapping her in her arms and burying her face in her hair.

"Hey, hey, it's okay," Jess said. "Are you okay?"

They hadn't really talked about what to tell people. Other than teammates, it was pretty expected to keep the missing 5 years to themselves. There was no point in erasing people's memories if they were just going to tell them. And Jessie was a reporter so she'd be an especially bad person to tell.

But she finally had her baby sister back after five years and it was very impossible to be cool about that.

Taking a deep breath, she gave her a tight squeeze. "I'm okay," she said finally. "It was just. . . a rough battle. I'm worn out." She let her go, holding her at arm's length. "Sorry about the phone, I'm not in my suit and I think the actual phone blew up."

"You want to come crash at my place tonight or do you need to stay at the hospital?"

She glanced over at Pepper, who waved at her. "I'd love to crash," she told Jessie.

"Oh, good. 'Cause you need a shower, too."

Amanda shook her head. "Let's give the nurses station your number in case they need to get a hold of me."


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Bucky watched him a moment, before saying, "No offense. But I'll believe you'll sit out a fight when I see you sit out a fight."_

Bucky didn't know many of the other Avengers, but he'd fought with them in two battles now—a few of them three—and that seemed to merit him an invitation to the afterparty. It wasn't so much an invitation as Sam Wilson ordering him to come along.

It was in the living room of a fancy brownstone that he assumed belonged to Stark. It had white carpet and white furniture and reminded Bucky of those rooms people had that no one was supposed to use. Except that it was full of people in beaten up battle gear sprawled on the furniture, getting dirt everywhere. A glass coffee table was piled high with boxes of pizza.

Man, Bucky hadn't had New York pizza in as long as he could remember.

Sam steered him to a seat and he helped himself to a couple slices. It was, in fact, even better than he remembered it.

"Hey guys," Sam asked. "Where are Clint and Nat?"

The air in the room changed. A group of them—Rhodes, Banner who seemed permanently hulked, Thor, Lang, Pepper and the talking raccoon who tried to steal Bucky's arm—all exchanged looks. 

"Barton went home to his family," Thor finally said. "Natasha. . ." The pause stretched, thunder rumbled loudly above, and the woman who'd looked to be sleeping across his lap jumped up like she'd been shocked.

"Nat died," Pepper said. "Don't set my roof on fire, please."

The rest of them were silent a long moment. "How?" Wanda asked softly.

"Gathering the stones required a sacrifice," Rhodes replied. "Nat made it."

"I tried to get her back." Banner looked down at the pile of pizza on his lap. "With my snap. I tried."

There was a painful silence, then one of the women Bucky didn't know—he thought the one who glowed and flew through the ship—said, "There seems to be a middle part to the story that some of us are missing." 

That same group exchanged looks again. Then Rhodes took a long drink of his beer and said, "Okay. This is a long story but bear with me. Uh, I know the battle in Wakanda was only a couple weeks ago for some of you. But for the rest of us. . . it was five years ago."

He told the long story, of the snap that killed half the universe, killing Thanos after he destroyed the stones, of their adventures through timelines to collect the stones, how they rolled back the entire universe to erase the snap.

"We intended to go right back to the moment Thanos first used the stones, but we seem to have showed up several weeks later. And then Thanos from another timeline appeared here with his army. I don't know what year."

"2014," said a blue skinned woman sitting in the corner so quietly Bucky hadn't noticed her.

"You said Thanos destroyed the stones," Strange said. Bucky had met him briefly when he was working on Steve. "The ones you collected would have been unable to exist at the same time as the ones from this universe. They could only bring you as far back as the destruction of the originals."

"That makes sense," Banner agreed, nodding slowly.

"As much as any of this has made sense," Lang added, making the woman sitting with him pat his back companionably.

"But it seems like we lived lives and things happened in those three weeks that we have no memory of," Pepper said. "Or longer, even. I didn't know I owned this house."

"It's a nice house," Lang's friend offered.

"I think we're all going to have some. . . catching up to do," Rhodes said. "Best we can do is help each other out and fill in gaps when they happen."

"We have a shrink, too," Lang said, pointing to a woman on the other side of the room who was wearing the bottom half of one of the Iron Man suits.

She waved. "Hi, I'm Lani Yee. I have no idea how many of you I've actually met."

"What happened to your chair?" Thor asked.

"Apparently, in times of crisis, it turns into a suit." She tapped one of the legs. "And then gets damaged and refuses to turn back."

"Oh. . . and it probably saved your life, didn't it?" Pepper asked. "There'll be no living with him."

Bucky tuned out the bantering for a while, eating his pizza and thinking. Did he want to go back to Wakanda? Would he be allowed to stay here?

Why was he so disappointed Doc wasn't here?

He was still contemplating that when Sam touched his shoulder and leaned down. "You okay, man?"

"Trying to decide if I belong here," he said, deciding to be honest. 

"No one here is kicking you out," Sam told him, giving his shoulder a squeeze.

That wasn't entirely the same thing, but he appreciated the gesture. "I was thinking of taking Steve some pizza."

"He'd probably appreciate that."

"He's going to complain it's not from Fantastic Nick's," Pepper told him, clearly overhearing.

"It'll be better than the hospital food." He paused. "Or I could go buy him a fresh slice."

"It's in the opposite direction of the hospital." Pepper nudged a pizza box towards him. "Take him some. He probably shouldn't be alone with his thoughts."

This woman in particular had absolutely no reason to be nice to him and was anyway, so Bucky smiled. "Thank you." He looked at Sam. "See you later?"

He nodded. "Say hi to the old man for me."

Bucky and his pizza got as far as the hallway outside Steve's room, because security was there. Apparently a lot of people wanted to sneak into Captain America's room. And they did not believe Bucky wasn't a lookie-loo.

"I promise, if you tell him I'm out here, he will let me in."

"I'm sorry, but no visitors," one of them replied. They were security guards. He could take them easily. Without his arm, even. But Steve would probably be mad.

"Barnes?" There was a blonde woman in the doorway of the room. It took Bucky a moment to recognize her as the woman who'd stolen Steve's shield for them from the JFTT. He'd kissed her and Bucky and Sam had a field day with it the entire ride to meet the rest of the team.

"Uh, hi," he said. For the life of him, he could not remember her name.

"Let him through," she told the guard, in a tone that made the guy immediately step back. "He's an Avenger."

Bucky wasn't sure that was really true, but they both not only fell back but started thanking him. He hustled the woman back into Steve's room.

Steve was propped up in bed, in pajamas instead of the usual hospital gown. He smiled widely when he was Bucky. "Hey. I thought you were going to the after party with the others."

He held up the box. "I brought you pizza."

Steve reached for it. "You are my favorite person."

"Hey," the blonde said, sitting in the chair next to the bed. "Are you sure you're supposed to eat that?"

"I damaged my heart with lightning, not cholesterol."

She made a face, but didn't stop him opening the box and taking out a piece. She looked over at Bucky, instead. "I don't think we every properly met. I'm Sharon."

He held out his hand. "Bucky."

They shook hands and she smiled. "Steve's been catching me up on what I missed."

"I heard about the whole time travel thing." He looked at Steve. "Though clearly there were a few details missing."

Steve ducked his head, probably blushing. "I meant to tell you about her. . . things came up."

Sharon hooked a thumb at the door. "Should I go so you can gossip about me in private?"

Bucky laughed. "No, no, come eat some pizza. I can extrapolate just fine." He took a slice from the box.

"Thanks." She grabbed her own piece and this time perched on the edge of the bed with Steve. "Will you be going back to Wakanda?"

He sat in one of the chairs. "I have no idea."

"I've been told I'm retiring," Steve told him.

"You asking to come stay in my hut? It's pretty small."

Steve chuckled. "Sharon's actually offered to let me stay with her."

"But we'll keep the hut in mind if he pisses me off," she added.

He looked from one to the other. So this was apparently that kind of serious. He didn't know if he should be offended Steve never mentioned her to him. "Not sure what I'd do here."

"You could retire with me. Or join the team."

He shifted uncomfortably and Sharon cleared her throat, standing. "Nothing goes with good pizza like bad hospital coffee." She kissed Steve's temple. "I'll be back in a bit. Do not get out of this bed."

Bucky watched her go. "She seems like good people."

Steve smiled. “She is.” He blew out a breath. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about her. She kind of. . . snuck up on me. It started as just sex. I’d see her when we were in the same tome zone. And then it just. . . To be honest, it all happened so long ago for me I don’t remember why I didn’t talk to you. Just that I didn’t realize how much she meant till she was gone.”

“She turned into dust?”

He nodded. “Along with you and Sam and Wanda. It was. . . really hard.”

Bucky blew out a breath. “Must have been a long 5 years.”

"It was. Some people got over it, moved on. Hell, Tony had a kid, lived a life. Somedays I felt like I was doing the same. But most of the time all I could think of was what I lost."

"You going to try living a life now?"

His gaze flicked to the door Sharon had gone through, probably unconsciously. "Thinking it might be worth a try."

"Good. I think you've done your bit for king and country."

"Sharon thinks I should start a TV show. Painting with Captain America. Apparently there was a guy on PBS when she was a kid-" He shook his head. "What about you? I know you said you weren't sure, but. . . what do you _want_ to do?"

"I absolutely think you should start a TV show about painting." He paused, and held out his hands by his head. "Big Afro? I think his name was Bob? Shuri loves old American TV."

Steve snapped and pointed at him. "That's the one. She watches it to fall asleep sometimes." 

"I think you should do it. As long as it doesn't feel too Dancing Monkey."

"Eh, as long as I'm on control of it, I think I can manage." He smirked. "Maybe I can sneak in diatribes about vaccinating your kids while I'm at it."

Bucky laughed. "I like it."

Steve was grinning at the sound of his laugh. "Buck." He sighed. "I know you settled in Wakanda. With your goats. If you want to go back, I understand. We can visit and video chat and all that. But. . . I would like you to have a life. To be happy. Were you? There?"

"I was. . . content, I suppose. Which was kind of a first."

He nodded. "I can appreciate that."

"You really think they'd _want_ me on the team?"

"You'd be an asset. They're losing all six of us. Someone on the ground who knows how a battle runs. . . that's an important part of a solid team."

"I can imagine Stark would stand for that." Weirdly appealing as it was.

"Tony and I mended fences in the five year gap. He might be more accommodating that you think. Also, I have it on good authority he won't be running the team."

"Who will be?"

"Not sure. Probably Sam. Carol - the woman who blew up Thanos's ship - will help, but she's got a universe to protect."

Bucky chuckled. "Have you _told_ Sam this?"

"Nah. I was gonna make it a big thing. Take him out to a park. Pass the baton. Maybe a little graduation ceremony."

"Tape your shield back together and give it to him?"

"Don't know it'll be much use to him. Probably get in the way of the wings." He sighed, leaning back in his pillows. "It feels good. Deciding to put it down for good. Didn't think it would."

Bucky watched him a moment, before saying, "No offense. But I'll believe you'll sit out a fight when I see you sit out a fight."

He smiled a little. "Thanks. But I'm pretty sure Sharon would kill me. And then Doc would bring me back to yell at me."

"Why am I killing you?" Sharon asked, appearing in the door. "Sorry, I ran out of hospital to wander."

"Doing his thing," Bucky said, gesturing vaguely at Steve. If she knew him well, she'd know exactly what Bucky was talking about.

"Ah yeah." She came further in to stand by Steve's bedside. "I would totally kill you for diving back in, yet again."

Okay. Bucky liked this woman.

*

The week after the battle, Tony was well enough to be moved out of ICU to a normal room. He, being Tony, paid all the money to get himself a nice private one. Amanda checked in on him regularly, crashing with her sister and then getting a hotel room.

The rest of Team Science was busy rebuilding the time machine so they could return the stones to their rightful places, and she made a point of being in the room when Banner would show up to pick Tony's brain. He got worked up too easily, and for once she wasn't talking about the Hulk.

When it was near completion, they ended up having a meeting in Tony's big private room to discuss logistics of returning the stones. Amanda was, again, mostly there to make sure Tony didn't over exert himself. She hadn't been in on the initial time heist, she didn't expect to have anything to do with this one.

"I think it makes the most sense for Thor to do all the space related ones," Hope Pym was saying. She seemed to have officially joined Team Science, especially since she knew more about the quantum stuff than Scott. "He can use his axe to bounce between them."

"Fine by me," Thor said. Amanda had never met him in person before he came to the compound to work on the time heist, but it was startling how different he looked in 2018. "I can handle any trouble I run into."

"Take someone with you," Steve said. "We should do this in teams, especially since we're not short on particles."

Thor looked at Valkyrie sitting next to him. "Up for an adventure?"

"To Asgard?"

"We'll bring back a second pegasus," he offered. "You can re-establish the breed."

"And a better sword."

Thor grinned. "And a better sword."

Hope jotted that down. "Okay, next is the two in New York in 2012."

"We could do those," Scott suggested. "I was there already and you're. . . better at this than me."

"The time stone you'll be able to just hand over," Bruce said. "She'll be expecting it."

"That will be simpler that the mind stone that is no longer in a scepter," Tony said.

No one seemed to be objecting, so Hope made another note. "That just leaves the Tesseract in 1970?"

"We can't go back," Steve said. "Tony's in no shape and I set off a lot of warning bells."

"Yeah." Tony shifted uncomfortably and Amanda checked her watch wondering if she needed to kick everyone out soon. "We need someone that can blend in. Someone who can pull off fake scientist of no importance."

"I'll do it," Rhodey said. Then he sighed. "1970. You probably need somebody white."

"That rules out Sam, too," Steve said. "It's a SHIELD facility, it would be great if someone could hold their own in science speak if they get caught.

There was a silence and Amanda suddenly realized most of the room was looking at her. "Seriously?"

"You can handle yourself in a fight," Steve said. "And speak science."

"I'm putting that on my business card," she told him, mostly to hide her delight at Captain America telling her she was a good fighter. "Who's coming with me, then? You said teams."

Tony looked over at Steve. "Would Barnes do it?"

He considered a moment. "Maybe? He's still deciding if he wants to be an Avenger or not." He looked over at Sam. "What do you think?"

"I was just about to suggest him."

Amanda certainly wouldn't _mind_ the excuse to spend a long time with Barnes, but agreeing too enthusiastically seemed unwise. "Why don't you call and ask him?"

"I'll talk to him," Steve said. with a nod.

And that was how, four days later, she stood on the grounds of their destroyed HQ, next to a brand new time tunnel thing, in brown pencil skirt and a paisley blouse with her hair brushed straight and parted in the middle, ready to go to the seventies.

"I feel like I should take all the pictures of this for Tony," Rhodes commented.

"You can shut all the way up."

"Well, I think you should look nice," said a voice from behind her. She turned and James Barnes, short hair and clean shaven, in an army uniform with the hat on crooked.

It was like a punch to the gut and she hoped the rather intense wave of attraction she felt didn't show on her face. She cleared her throat. "Same to you. Though I kind of like the shaggy look."

"Yeah, this is a bit like staring into the past for me." He held up the hand on his prosthetic arm. It had some truly terrible fake skin on it. "Though this happened."

She wondered a little why she hadn't been involved in that. "It's only for a little bit."

"Straighten that hat, Sargent," Rhodey said. 

Barnes clearly heard the teasing and smiled when he saluted. "Colonel."

"They're going to be in suits in a second," Banner commented mildly.

Rhodey held out the briefcase to her. "Here's the stone. You talk to Tony?"

Amanda nodded, taking the case to hand out at her side. "I have the bunker code and the floor level. Stick the thing back in, seal the container and get out."

"Ready when you are, Doc," Barnes said.

Rhodey gave her a fast hug and she went to join him on the platform. "See you in five seconds," she told the others, activating her suit.

"Okay," Banner said. "Going in three. . .two. . .one."


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Amanda tipped her head back, looking at the sky. "I'm going to kill those idiots. I spent so much time keeping them alive, but I'm still going to kill them."_

The floor dropped out from under Amanda and she was in some sort of blue tunnel, weightless and whizzing through. She tightened her grip on the suitcase and tried to find a steady spot to concentrate on, but everything was moving too quickly. The HUD on her suit told her which path to take and she followed it, vaguely aware of Barnes next to her, taking the same path. Then the tunnel fell away and she was hitting pavement, barely catching her balance before skinning a knee.

The suit retracted and she turned to a convenient bush to vomit.

Barnes crouched down next to her, rubbing her back. "Hey, hey."

She swatted at his hand, not really in the mood to be touched. She coughed and spat. "I'm fine. I get motion sick." No one had mentioned the roller coaster from hell when discussing time travel.

"We can just sit here a few, they dropped us in the woods."

Amanda nodded and leaned on a tree a moment, breathing through her nose and out her mouth. She spat again and wiped her mouth. "That was very unpleasant."

He sat down in the dirt. "Now I'm impressed you fly those suits."

She shrugged. "It has stabilizers and the HUD adjusts so it doesn't shake. You will also notice I don't do any of the acrobatics that Tony does - did."

"Steve used to get motion sick. Puked all over me on a roller coaster once."

"I was wondering why you were so comfortable with it. Most men I know disappear at the first sign of bodily functions."

He looked over at her. "You should read my file one day."

"Vomit is different than viscera, but point for you."

"Do you want to get something in your stomach before we get on with it? I can see what I can find."

She shook her head. "No. Thank you. This shouldn't take long and I don't think I should fill it again before doing the time travel tunnel thing again." Using the tree, she got to her feet, brushing her skirt off. "I'm ready."

He straightened his hat. "Let's go."

She scooped up the briefcase holding the stone and walked with him to the road to cover that last few dozen yards to the base.

Only to find it on lockdown. Barnes went up to the guard booth and spoke as men do to try to find out what was going on.

"Two suspicious guys stole some high importance tech," he reported back to her. "No one's coming in or out until they finish their search."

Amanda tipped her head back, looking at the sky. "I'm going to kill those idiots. I spent so much time keeping them alive, but I'm still going to kill them."

"Why don't we go home and come back into tomorrow?" he suggested.

Her stomach lurched at the idea. "I can't. I can't take that tunnel thing three more times." She sighed, rubbing the back of her neck. "You can go. I'll figure out something and meet you here tomorrow morning."

"I am not leaving you alone in 1970."

There was a vague thread of exasperation in his tone that made her think she was getting "Steve voice." "I'll be fine. There's a big forest to get lost in and Wheaton just a thirty minute walk that way." She pointed up the road.

He made a face that she was _certain_ was 'Steve face'. It was also, if she was very very honest, the face she made at Tony a lot. "Come on. Let's hike into town. I'll buy you lunch."

It was on the tip of her tongue to ask if he'd also share a float with her, but it seemed too much, and this was the wrong decade anyway. So she just nodded and they started hiking down the road. She was at least grateful she'd worn practical shoes.

"I brought some money," he said. "Seemed prudent."

"Clearly. You can never tell what will come up."

Barnes kicked a rock. "I don't remember much of this era. I think I was frozen for most of it. The world had plenty of chaos without Hydra's help."

"This is a few years before I was born," she admitted. When she'd seen herself in the mirror in her getup, she'd had a brief heart attack at how much she looked like her mother. "The Vietnam war is in full swing. My dad is over there somewhere. Woodstock was last year, Apollo 13 just crash-landed, Nixon is still president, the Kent state shootings were three days ago and somewhere in New York, the great Tony Stark is being born."

"He sent us back on his birthday?"

She shrugged, hopping over a little pot hole. "It's the day he knew the particles and tesseract would both be here at once. I assume there's some sort of Howard was a terrible parent story behind why he knows that, but I'm not Lani so I don't go digging."

"Isn't someone going to notice the, uh, lack of cube?"

"Probably?" She blew out a breath. "We didn't have anyway to rebuild the cube part of it. From what Bruce said of his discussion with the Ancient One. . . person, the important thing is getting the stone back where it was supposed to be, as close to the time it left as possible." She looked over at him. "To be honest, I'm having enough trouble reconciling Strange and actual honest to gods magic to really care."

Barnes chuckled. "Fair enough."

The hike to Wheaton was pretty uneventful. They dodged out the way of a car a couple times, but no one seemed to give them a second look. Wheaton itself was a small town, clearly kept alive by the base nearby. One of the first building they passed was a diner, which seemed a good enough place as any to eat.

Barnes held the door for her, which she found adorable.

They ordered burgers, and milkshakes. The waitress tried to flirt with him a little, and it seemed to go over his head.

"Without sounding ungrateful," Amanda started when they'd finished ordering. "Can I ask why you agreed to come with me?"

"Steve said you needed backup." He made it sound like the most obvious thing in the world.

She couldn't help but smile. "I appreciate the company."

"He said it really ought to be someone enhanced. And given the shenanigans at the big battle, I believed him." He offered her a smile. "Though your sense of self-preservation does seem to work most other times."

"Certainly better than the people you're used to."

"Why did you agree to do it?"

To be completely honest, it hadn't occurred to her to say no. "They asked. Someone who 'spoke science' needed to do it and I was the best candidate." The waitress swung by with their shakes and she used her straw to stir hers a bit. "I don't actually do a lot of missions stuff. Mostly it's research and battles. I thought it might be fun. I did not know it would require going through a psychedelic blue roller coaster of doom, or I might had made a different decision."

"The rest of them are probably people who like roller coasters."

She squinted. "Oh, you're probably right."

"We'll put the cube back, and you'll never have to do it again."

"That's the plan."

Lunch was really good. Conversation flowed pretty easily, considering neither of them were really small talkers. She learned a lot about goats. 

"Now what?" she asked as he paid the bill. "You got enough to find us somewhere to sleep?"

"You think they'll be on lockdown until tomorrow?"

She considered. "To be honest, I have no idea what SOP is for this kind of thing."

"I have $20. Two ten dollar bills from 1953 that are apparently rare and cost a hundred bucks from a collector."

Lunch had killed about five of that, when all was said and done. They headed back out onto the street and walked deeper into town. Because it catered to the soldiers stationed at Lehigh, it had more amenities than she might have expected. There were several bars, a movie theater playing, of all things, M*A*S*H, and a Motel 6.

"If I'm doing inflation math correctly, we have just enough for dinner, a movie and one hotel room," she said, after their tour of the town.

He looked at her sideway. "You okay with that?"

"Yes, I'm a very modern woman, you don't have anything I haven't seen."

"I did used to murder people for Nazis," he said. "That's probably new." There was something both very flat and very harsh about the way he said that.

She felt her brows lift. "Are you implying I should be concerned you're going to kill me or that I might secretly be a Nazi. 'Cause to be honest, neither of those are high on my concerns list."

"I guess I feel like I've earned people not trusting me."

It was now her to turn to give him Tony Look. "I don't care about other people. I would not have come on this little jaunt with you at all if I didn't trust you. I do not like people and I do not like implications that I can't take care of myself. I don't mind your company and am willing to go into a different _time_ with you. Sharing a hotel room for a night seems fairly inconsequential."

He inclined his head. "Point taken."

"Now," she said, counting that as a win. "Would you like to watch a movie about the absurdity of war?"

He actually grinned. "That sounds exactly up my alley."

Amanda had more or less grown up watching the MASH TV show, but she'd only seen the movie once, as a teenager on summer break with her dad. She'd liked it well enough. Some of the jokes made her laugh and the song appealed to her inner emo. Watching as an adult, with the life she had lived was a very different experience. Other than a brief existential crisis when she realized she had somehow _become_ Hawkeye Pearce, she found it hilarious. Maybe she had never been in a proper war, the way a medic in Korea or Vietnam had been. But she'd seen enough reasonable facsimiles to empathize with that utterly black humor the movie lived on.

It was a nice relief to see Barnes laughing almost as much as her.

"All the war movies around WW2 were terrible," he told her as they walk out of the theatre.

She chuckled, nodded. "I can see that. I think Patton was out this year, we dodged a bullet, there."

"I don't think I'd want to see that."

"No, I'll back that up." She bumped his shoulder lightly. "Have you seen any of the terrible Captain America movies?"

"No, but Shuri has and she loves to tell me about them." He actually shuddered a little.

She had to laugh. "Oh, I assure you, they're even worse."

"Apparently there's even a musical." 

"There is!" she confirmed, trying not to sound gleeful and failing. "It's horrendous."

"I tell you, we were not nearly as interesting as pop culture makes us out to be," he said. "The Howling Commandos, I mean. Steve might be that interesting."

"It's a story people like. Bunch of strangers from all walks of life bonding in wartime." She shoved her hands in her pockets as they strolled along the street. "I think it's why everyone jumped on the Avengers bandwagon when they started up. There's also a sentiment - in America, at least - that World War II was the last. . . I don't know, socially acceptable war? My dad was in Vietnam, he's still good friends with some of the guys he fought with there, but if you ask him about the war itself, it's mostly silence, or someone dying."

"The homefront loved the war because propaganda shielded them from its ugly side."

"Which is why World War II movies are terrible."

They had dinner at the same diner they had lunch at, because it was cheap, and they had really good pie. 

"Why did you become an Avenger?" he asked her.

She drew her fork through the puddle of ice cream and apple pie filling on her plate. "Honestly? I think Tony tricked me into it and by the time I realized it was too late."

"How does one accidentally become a superhero?"

"I don't know! It's just. . . how he does things. 'Hey Doc, I have an idea about a mobile hospital.' 'Hey Doc, what if I made it wearable?' 'Hey Doc, just try this on.' 'Hey Doc, there's an earthquake in the Philippines come try the suit out.'" She waved her hands and leaned back, sipping her tea. "One day you're happily hidden in your research lab, the next you have a call sign and an action figure."

He was quiet a moment, then, "Carol Danvers asked me to come be on the team."

And that explained the questioning. "You're thinking about doing it?"

Barnes shrugged. "Thought maybe I could use the awful skills I was given to do a little good in the world."

He was holding himself very stiffly, and she suspected the conversation mattered more to him than he would ever let on. "I think you'd be an asset," she offered. "And I think, despite the lives of Tony and Steve, you are allowed to retire any time you want. So if you try it and find it's not for you. . . the goats will always be there, you know?" She sipped her tea. "I bitch about it, because that is my way, but I wouldn't do it if I didn't like it. I've wanted to save the world since I was eight years old and this is the first time I've actually felt like I was succeeding."

"I don't know. Sometimes I feel like Bucky Barnes, Captain America's sidekick. And sometimes I feel like a one-armed goat farmer who hates people."

She smiled. "Everyone reinvents themselves as they move through life. I'm not the idealistic med school graduate. Or the cynical research scientist I was just a couple years ago. But I've learned things from both of them and they've made me a better person. Maybe the fact you're thinking about joining means you're ready to see who the next you is going to be."

He looked at her a long moment. "You're very wise, Doc." He looked at his watch. "We probably should go check in."

After paying the check and one last swig of her tea, they walked down to the motel and she hung around outside while he went in to get the room. The chain was only a couple years old and was still living up to its name but charging $6 per room. It cleaning him out of all but a handful of change, but it meant they didn't have to rough it in the woods all night.

Mercifully, there were two beds, sparing them a very awkward conversation. Though she suspected Barnes could sleep on concrete. And would not have even remotely entertained sharing one. As it was, he claimed the one closest to the door and took a moment to check all the exits while she peeled off her shoes and pantyhose.

"Sorry," he muttered, apparently noticing her notice. "Force of habit."

She shrugged, stretching her toes and tucking a foot up to inspect the blister forming on her Achilles tendon. "I had a boyfriend who liked keeping his cereal box in the refrigerator, I don't judge."

"People nowadays—particularly Americans—put all sorts of things in the fridge they don't need to."

"I solve that problem by having almost no food in my house," she said, tossing him a smirk to show she was at least partially kidding.

He draped his jacket over the back of the chair, then sat to take his boots off. "Where do you store your butter?"

She had the sneaking suspicion she was being tested. "Butter tub on the counter. I don't like cold butter on my toast."

Barnes nodded, apparently approving of that. "Steve and I shared a place once, before the war. We fought about the butter."

"Was he an ice box butter person?"

"Yes," Barnes said. "It was nearly the end of our friendship." He sounded so serious she couldn't tell if he was joking.

"I see. That's the real reason you stayed in Wakanda all that time. Couldn't bear to start the Butter War up all over again."

He laughed. "I'll warn his girlfriend." He got up and went into the bathroom, and came back out a minute later in a t-shirt. His left arm was different than the one he'd had at the battle; it looked much more like a the sort of prosthetic one might have had in 1970. Of course it did—Barnes clearly thought like a spy. Vintage money, vintage arm. Nothing to give them away.

She knew enough about those old prosthetics to know they could be a pain in the ass to get on and off. "Do you need a hand?" she asked, gesturing to it. "No pun intended."

He hesitated a moment, then said, "If you don't mind."

"Not at all." She slid off the bed and walked to the chair he'd claimed, sitting on the end of his bed to get at the right level. He reached behind his neck and pulled his t-shirt off. Amanda really loved when guys did that and strongly suspected they had no idea it was sexy. She should ask Tony. He was always good for a round of "the opposite sex thinks what?!" For now she pushed the little tummy tightening attraction down and leaned close to undo the fastenings on his arm.

The arm might be period specific, but anyone who knew anything about this sort of thing would be suspicious as soon as they got this close. "These connections look recent, I assume Shuri upgraded them from what Hydra put in?"

"They Hydra one was permanently attached. Stark blew it off just below the shoulder, and then in Wakanda they removed the remnants. They put in attachment point, so I'd be able to change out arms."

She nodded, still taking a slow tour of the attachments. She paused a moment, gently palpitating one of the worst scars that ran down his pectoral. "I have some disparaging words for your former surgeons," she murmured, mostly to herself. 

She found a tiny little tab that gave when she pushed it, and made a little triumphant noise in her throat, loosening the attachments and easing the arm off.

"They couldn't figure out how to put me under back then," he said quietly. "I didn't stay still enough."

She'd been in the process of turning to tuck the arm on the floor between the bed and wall, but stopped at this words. "I suppose they wouldn't have understood how sedatives would work with your heightened metabolism." Then, quietly, she added, "I'm sorry," before leaning down and setting the arm out of sight.

"Well, hey, what kind of shitty doctor works for Hydra anyway?"

"That's an excellent point. The Hippocratic Oath went out the window a long time ago."

"It's nice to be able to take it off. Sleeping in a steel arm was never comfortable."

"I would think so. Which reminds me. I'm going to get more comfortable while we settle." He nodded and she stood, walking into the bathroom to freshen up and slip off her bra. She had a full slip on under the clothes, so she decided to wiggle out of the skirt as well. She left the blouse on in the interest in decency.

When she came out, he'd put his shirt back on and stretched out on his bed. She swished past him and settled on her bed, taking a minute to arrange her pillows how she liked it.

"Do you snore?" he asked after a moment.

She thought a moment. "I don't think so. It's never been on the list of complaints from exes."

"Though I'd ask. I'm not the best sleeper." He looked over at her. "But I don't snore."

"Nightmares?" she asked, meeting his gaze.

"Sometimes. Sometimes I think my senses are just so keyed up. . . it's hard to turn off."

"That sounds familiar." He gave her a questioning look. "My brain doesn't shut off. Pretty much ever."

"That does explain quite a bit about you." 

"I'm going to take that as a compliment," she told him primly.

He grinned, she could just see it in the dim light. "It is, Doc. It absolutely is."

Her cheeks were hot and she wondered if his super senses were enough to tell.

*

In the morning, Bucky had enough change in his pocket to get himself a cup of coffee, her a cup of tea, and a single piece of toast between them. "We should have planned this better."

"I'll buy you a steak once we get back home," she promised, downing the last of her tea.

"You know, I'm going to take you up on that." He looked at his watch. "Base offices should be open now."

She nodded and set her cup down. They got up and he took the briefcase from her as they started down the road back to the base.

"If it's not open I'm tossing the stone over the fence and getting out of here," she said. 

"Come on, now, I'd hate to destabilize this universe?"

"Feel like I'm past carrying about that, to be honest."

The base was open, but apparently still on lockdown. The guy at the gate insisted nobody not on the list would be allowed in for at least 48 hours, without specific authorization.

Amanda turned on full Doc voice. "This is ridiculous. I don't have 48 hours to wait. I was supposed the be in there yesterday going over samples. In two more days they'll be ruined."

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but if you're not on the list -

She took a breath. "I demand to speak to Directer Carter immediately."

The man looked startled. Bucky supposed people weren't supposed to even know she and SHIELD were here. Surprise turned to panic. "I need to call my CO," he said finally.

Bucky turned his back to them to murmur, "She's gonna recognize me."

"I'm counting on it," she whispered back. Then to the guard, added, "Have them tell her I'm here about Project Achilles. She'll know what it means."

He scurried off, and was back five minutes later. "Come with me."

She tossed Bucky a little triumphant look and followed the guard onto the base. Bucky sighed and followed, hoping they weren't being led to the brig.

They were, instead, led into Peggy Carter's office, where she was waiting behind her desk, studying Amanda with suspicion. She waved the guard away and once he'd closed the door, asked, "Who are you and how do you know about Project Achilles?"

"My name is Amanda Newbury, I'm from the future." She set the briefcase carrying the space stone on Peggy's desk. "A couple of our agents were here earlier and borrowed this. Sorry they made such a mess of their exit."

Peggy opened the briefcase and Bucky watched her. It was so weird to see someone from so far into his past. She hadn't noticed him yet. "What is this?" Peggy asked.

"It's what was inside the cube - the tesseract," Amanda explained. "You might want to have Howard build a new case for it - when he has time - but you should be able to experiment with it now the same as you would have."

She opened her mouth to reply, and then she finally saw Bucky. She stared at him like she was trying to understand what she was looking at. Or decided if she was really placing the face properly.

"Bucky Barnes," he said helpfully. "Hi Peg."

She looked from him to Amanda and back again a few times. "How-"

"It's a really long story," Amanda told her. "And we're probably not supposed to tell you anything."

Her mouth twisted a little, clearly frustrated. He could only imagine the long list of questions she probably had. Finally she settled on, "How did you know about Project Achilles?"

"I'm working on a similar project in my time. I've read the files." She paused and put a hand on her hip. "That reminds me. Stark is having a kid today. Could you make sure he doesn't fuck him up too badly? He's a _really bad_ father."

"Hey, if you're trying to fix Howard then I want someone to dig me up from my missile silo," Bucky said. If they'd already made an alternate universe, they might as well fix it a little.

Amanda pointed at him. "That's valid. I actually know where that is. Also," she added, in Peggy's direction. "I strongly recommend putting Zola in a dark hole and throwing away the key."

"If you don't both want to end up in a cell on sub-basement level K, you might want to consider sitting down and explaining," Peggy said.

Clearly now regretting saying what she had, Amanda nevertheless sat and he did as well. She then proceeded to give Peg a heavily redacted version of what the tesseract was, why they'd needed the stone, and why they'd come back to return it. "I'm not going to tell you anything political," she said finally. "I'm not going to be responsible for that. But I will tell you that he—" she pointed at Bucky—"Is being held in cryo in a bunker in Volochanka, being used as a weapon by Hydra and you should really try to go get him out."

Peggy nodded. "I'll do my best." She reached for a pad to make some notes. "I already can't stand Zola, and I objected to Howard hiring him. Howard is, unfortunately, the only person I can't overrule. I need ammo."

"I think if you look into him, something will pop out," Amanda said. "I've read some of his notes he's got an ego to make Stark's look small. He's going to have left something out in the open."

"Finding me might help," Bucky added. "He was on the team that. . . made me. His fingerprints are going to be all over everything you find in Volochanka. Metaphorically speaking."

Peggy looked from one to the other. "I am supposing in your era the USSR is gone, based on your idea that I could send an extraction team into Siberia without risking nuclear war."

"Good point," Bucky said, dredging through the disorganized list of things he did remember. "Okay--September 11, 1973 I'm in Santiago, Chile to kill Salvador Allende. I spend 18 hours in a hotel on the edge of the city waiting for a delayed extraction."

"Much better."

"Oh," Bucky said. "And don't hire Alexander Pierce."

Peggy made a little exasperated noise, but dutifully made a note. "Anything else?"

They exchanged a glance. There probably was, but what they'd already told her would probably clear up some of it.

"No," Amanda said. "But I did have a question I have honestly always wondered about, how did you get away with keeping your maiden name in this day and age?"

Peggy chuckled, but it didn't have a lot of humor. "Oh, I didn't. I just changed it back when I got divorced." She looked at Amanda. "This job is immensely consuming. My husband wasn't as tolerant of it as Maria Stark. No man would be. I hope that's different in the future." 

He swore Amanda winced a little, before sighing. "I'll put it this way. I'm a surgeon and researcher. I don't even bother dating anymore." Peggy sighed and gave her a little smile of sympathy. 

"It's not all bad," Bucky said. "Howard's daughter-in-law runs Stark Industries."

Amanda studied her a moment, then gave a little nod, as if she'd decided on something. "There is one guy I know who'd be perfectly tolerant of this." She gestured at Peggy's desk. The she stood and walked over to the giant world map that hung on Peggy's wall. She picked up a pin and stuck it in a spot in the Arctic Circle before turning back to them. "You might want to order a very thorough search of the ice there."

Peggy looked at the map, then back at them with her mouth open.

"And I think that's our cue," Bucky said. He stood up and hit the button to put on his timesuit. Amanda did the same and gave Peggy a little wave as they got sucked into the tunnel.

They appeared on the platform back in 2019 and Amanda grabbed at his arm, hunching up as nausea hit her again. Bucky braced her, hoping they weren't about to relive the Coney Island Incident.

From off to his left, he heard Banner say, "Oh my God," in shock. It was enough to get both their attentions and Amanda clearly pushed down her discomfort to straighten and see what the trouble was.

Across from them, between Thor and Valkyrie, was Natasha Romanov.

Before anyone else could say or do anything, Thor turned and pointed at Banner. "Space. Magic. I _told_ you so."


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Scars are a part of us," he said, thinking one day he'd like to hear the story of how she got hers. "If you fixed that, you'd see a stranger in the mirror."_

_Four months later_

_Avengers HQ 3.0, San Gregorio, CA_

Bucky didn't think he'd ever been to California, but there were enormous gaps in his memory, so who knew. 

"I'm going to fly you right in," Shuri called from the cockpit. He'd gone back to Wakanda after his little jaunt into the past, to rest, make some decisions, and eventually pack. Shuri was heading back to the Wakandan outreach center on Oakland, and offered him a lift. "But we are taking the long way around, so feel free to enjoy the view."

He went up to peer at the landscape moving below them, a rocky coast meeting the ocean. "Thanks," he said. "I wouldn't have enjoyed the airport."

"And the airport would not have enjoyed the goats," she replied.

Sam Wilson appeared by his side. "Are we almost there? It's smelled like a barn in here for 6 hours." He looked at Bucky. "You sure they're not going to kill you for bringing those things?"

"People with large properties in the Bay Area rent goats," Shuri said. Bringing them had been her idea. Which was good, because Bucky was kind of attached to them, but didn't like asking for things. "Keeps the grass low to prevent fires."

"It's still weird," Sam insisted. Bucky wasn't sure he could actually argue with that.

A few minutes later, Shuri pointed out the window. "If you'll look to your left, you'll see your new home."

Bucky and Sam leaned in unison. On the crest of a hill, just a couple miles inland, was a sprawling building with that big Avengers A on the side of it. As they got closer he could pick out a large parking lot and a cluster of side building. Stark had somehow found 38 empty acres on the California coast to set up a new headquarters. He and Pepper would be living about a twenty minute drive closer to civilization, but the rest of them would have houses on the property.

"They built that fast," Bucky commented. The old HQ back in New York was still a rubble pile as far as he knew, so he supposed everyone was very motivated.

"Tony moves mountains when he wants to," Sam said. "His stuff gets blown up a lot."

Bucky still wasn't entirely sure Tony Stark wasn't going to shoot him on sight. Even though four different people, including Steve, had sworn everything was fine. And besides, Steve wasn't here.

Shuri set down on the freshly paved landing pad and opened the back hatch. The goats started trotting out almost immediately. "Are you coming in?"

She shook her head. "I have a meeting at the Center I need to attend. But I'll be around. Stark likes to pick my brain when he's stuck on things."

"Thanks for the lift," he said, tossing his bags out one the asphalt.

She smiled at him. "Good luck, White Wolf."

He ducked his head, and went out to chase his goats. Wanda Maximoff came out to greet them; apparently she was handling some administrative things and knew what their housing assignments were. And she clearly wanted to hug Sam.

"It's good to see you both," she said as they walked towards the main building. "We're still not fully staffed and it gets very empty here at night." She scratched the head of one of the goats that had decided to join them. "Would you like to see your houses first or the HQ?"

"Houses," Bucky said. "Unless you want them to keep following us."

She smiled and gave it another pat. "Will they follow a car?" she asked gesturing at the row of little golf carts lined up near the building. "It's not far, but it is uphill."

He squinted at it. "Does it make noise? I think a combustion engine would scare them. Though I don't mind walking."

"They're electric, but you're welcome to walk, I'm just a big wuss." She pointed. "It's just a five minute walk up that road on the right. That's where all the cabins are."

"Thanks," he said. The walk and a little space would do him good. It was what he was used to.

Sam offered to take his bag, which he handed over because there was no reason not to. Then he and Wanda headed off in the cart and Bucky trailed behind, making sure all the goats followed along. It was a nice day, little bite of chill in the breeze and as he climbed the hill he could catch scent of the ocean on the wind. The view was amazing. Rolling hills dotted with trees in one direction and ocean and horizon on the other. They were on a private drive well off the main road, so the HQ was easily defensible.

Shades of it reminded him of being in Wakanda. Since that was the only place since 1945 he could remember feeling content, it was a very good thing. T'Challa had offered to let him stay, but he knew the King had enough to deal with without Bucky loitering around underfoot. Besides, if he was going to live his life in the world, he needed to get on with it.

He caught up with Wanda and Sam after she'd parked in front of a little A frame house that looked like an old fashioned country cabin. About half a dozen more were strung along either side of the road as it meandered up the hill.

"Yours is over there," Wanda called as he reached them, pointing to the second house on the left. "This is Sam's. Vis and I are over there. That's Doc, then Lani, and the big one on the end is Hope and Scott."

"These are really nice," he said. "Thanks." He paused. "Am I supposed to. . . report somewhere? Or something?"

She shrugged. "There's a team meeting tomorrow, but nothing today. Stark, Lani, and Doc are back at HQ if you want to say hi. Scott and Hope will be in tomorrow."

So that was a bit of a dilemma. He was still concerned about Stark shooting him, but he really wanted to see Amanda Newbury again.

It was the look on Wanda's face right then that reminded him she was kind of a telepath.

"Last time I saw Doc and Stark they were working on his artificial arm," she commented, all but confirming she'd gotten a whiff of that thought. "Might be worth checking in to catch a bit of the Doc and Tony Show."

Well, if he was going to get shot, it might as well be today.

Sam opted to start unpacking, and the goats got one look at the rolling hills behind the house and lost all interest in him. So after tossing his bag in the front hall of his house, Bucky hiked back down the hill and let himself into the main building.

FRIDAY helpfully directed him to the labs that Amanda and Stark were in, though all he had to do was get into the same hallway to find them.

". . . human body has a certain elegance to it." That was definitely Stark, coming from an open door to the left of the elevator.

"If that were true, no one would get tendonitis. Or carpal tunnel syndrome. Or bump their funny bone." And there was Doc.

"It's not going to have nerves!"

"Then why not change other things! You get to rebuild one of your limbs. Our forearms still include muscles only useful for hanging from trees. Mother Nature is lazy and stupid and we should fix her mistakes when given a chance."

"You sound like you'd prefer to be a brain in a vat."

"Considering the bullshit that runs in my family? Sign me up."

The irony that they were talking about a topic Bucky new something about. Two topics. He'd known a guy once who had his brain turned into a computer. Hydra wasn't ethical in their experiments.

He turned the corner into the room the yelling had been coming from. It proved to be a lab, very similar to Shuri's. There were various arm schematics up on screens and hologram displays. Stark had lost his arm below his elbow, so he didn't need the same sort of prosthetic as Bucky did. But they had clearly borrowed some of Shuri's ideas to work on this one.

Doc and Stark were on opposite sides of a table, facing off, but broke their staring contest when he cleared his throat. "Hey Barnes," Stark said, nodding to him.

Well. That was anti climactic. And also tinged with a bit of deja vu, because right then he sounded just like his father. Bucky was glad he caught the thought before it came out of his mouth. The last thing on earth he ever needed to bring up around Tony was Howard. "Hey."

Amanda was smiling at him. "It's good to see you again, James."

He smiled back. "Hi, Doc."

She gestured at the schematics hovering in front of her. "Would you weigh in, as the owner of a prosthetic limb, your opinion on form over function?"

Bucky looked down at his arm almost involuntarily. "I had a version that was pure function. This is version 12 or 15. Princess Shuri likes to iterate. The one that looked most like industrial machinery scared children. But I could attach tools to it."

Stark gestured grandly. "Scared children!"

"Attached tools!" Doc responded in exactly the same tone.

They stared each other down another moment. "Multiple arms?" Stark finally said.

Her mouth twisted up a little and Bucky couldn't tell if she was annoyed, thinking, or trying not to laugh. " _Fine_."

"Good."

"Great."

Wanda was right, this was kind of entertaining.

Bucky held out his arm. "Would you like to borrow it so you can inspect it."

Stark hesitated, which seemed unlike him. Maybe things weren't quite as okay as he'd been pretending. Saying a civil hello was one thing, fiddling around with his arm was another.

Doc had no such problem. "If you're sure it's all right."

She came around the lab table. "Come over to my office. I'd like to look at the shoulder connectors in better light."

Bucky followed her, grateful for the privacy, because he was going to have to take his shirt off.

Her office proved to be across the hall and down a couple doors. There was a little plaque outside that said "Sick Bay" which he suspected was an in joke of some sort. Inside was a typical doctor's exam room, with a table, a bunch of machines and consoles. There was a door to one side that was half open that seemed to be a proper office, with a desk an a bunch of white boards lining the wall.

"Is this all right?" she asked, watching him look around. "I know you probably don't like doctor's offices very much."

"I got used to it in Wakanda," he said. Though those had often looked much different. He grabbed his t-shirt by the back of the neck and pulled it off.

He folded it over his right arm, then looked over at her expectantly, to find her staring. She blinked, seemed to shake herself a little, then stepped closer to him, tucking herself around his left side to peer at the arm connections.

"You're sure you don't mind me playing with this for a while?"

"Trust me, I'm used to not having it."

"All right." She set it on the table gently. "Just let me know when you're ready to have it back."

He shrugged, something that always felt weird with the arm off. "We'll have a fight eventually."

"Do you only wear it to fight?" she asked, looking back at him.

"No. But I always wear it to fight." He sighed. "I suppose you could say it's calibrated for that. Stark's probably doesn't need to be."

"He will not be going into the field again, no." Her tone indicated that if he even thought about trying he'd be faced with her and some sort of sedative. "Would you like a non fighting one? Since I'm designing arms?"

He had plenty of function-based ones back in Wakanda. He just didn't like them. He'd settled on one that worked just like a human hand, so he could fire a gun. Shuri told him he had no imagination. "How would it be different?"

"I don't know how much of Tony and my bickering you heard, but I want to tweak a little with the structural design. He's married to sticking close to human anatomy and I think human anatomy is poorly designed and deserves tweaking. _How_ I tweaked would depend on how you thought you'd be using it. I imagine for an every day arm you'd be looking at mostly fine motor uses. Writing, buttoning your shirt, tying your shoes. And while we don't have vibranium, we do have Helen Cho's second skin, so rather than being all metal it could look more like a natural arm."

"I like the metal. I don't really know why. Other than my arm has been metal for so long I think if I looked down and saw skin it wouldn't look right." He paused. "You should put skin on Stark's. Isn't his wife pregnant? I wouldn't want to try and hold a baby with this one."

"We intend to put skin on all his arms except the multitool one." She crossed her arms, resting her hip on the table. "I know what you mean about it not looking right. My sister tried to convince me to switch to contact but I found looking in the mirror jarring. And I've had this -" She gestured at the scar and glasses. "A lot less time than you've had the arm."

"Scars are a part of us," he said, thinking one day he'd like to hear the story of how she got hers. "If you fixed that, you'd see a stranger in the mirror."

"Exactly," she said, jaw tight.

He hesitated a minute, then said, "I know there is also a very large engineering component to it, and I'm not asking Stark to work on something for me. It's crazy enough that I'm here."

She titled her head, studying him a moment. "I promise I wouldn't let him slip a bomb in it or something."

Bucky shook his head. "No, no. I don't mean like that. It's just a shitty thing to ask. Given everything."

"You know, no one's actually told me what the hell happened between you. Just something about the Sokovia Accords and Rogers choosing you over Tony." She waved her hands. "Probably not my business anyway. If you're good as you are, then you're good. Just let me know if you change your mind."

He stared at her. He'd just assumed it was common knowledge. That Stark must have told everyone, or at least people he was clearly as close to as Amanda. "The Winter Soldier killed his parents." One of the things he'd learned, while unfucking his head in Wakanda, was that the Winter Soldier was a monster they'd made that he didn't have to be. Shuri referred to the Winter Soldier in third person like he was someone else entirely, and Bucky had picked up the habit.

The look of surprise on her face confirmed she hadn't known that. "He told me Hydra killed them, but didn't give me details. I can see why you wouldn't want to ask him for things."

Bucky shoved his hand in his pocket. "When Danvers set this up he was still in the ICU. I honestly expected the invitation to be rescinded."

"I didn't want to do it, when she first asked," Doc admitted. "Tony talked me into it. Said the team needed me to be the 'voice of cold ruthlessness.'" She shrugged. "I think it was a compliment."

"Good to have a medic in the field, too."

"Considering half the team has sort of enhancement, I'm not sure how much I'll have to do. But I got pretty good with the Doctor Death suit during the missing years. I don't mind being ranged DPS."

Other than the occasional battlefield amputation, of course. Bucky smiled. "Well. I look forward to the fights a little more now."

He couldn't swear to it, but he thought her cheeks got a little pink at that. She cleared her throat, looking flustered. "I have a couple things I need to do. I'm sure you want to look around. . . get settled."

And that was his cue to leave. He had enough of the social skills he once had left to know that. "Of course. It was good to see you, Doc."

"You too. I'm sure we'll see each other around. We're neighbors now."

"Right." He paused. "Hey, do you garden?"

She actually snorted. "No. If it doesn't have a heartbeat I'm no good at keeping it alive."

"Okay, good. My goats are probably going to eat everyone's plants."

There was a pause, then she said, "You have goats?"

"Yeah. I brought them from Wakanda." It sounded ridiculous when he explained it.

She laughed a little, but her smile looked genuine and sweet. "I look forward to not having to deal with my own lawn."

"That will happen pretty definitely." He probably shouldn't just loiter here all day. "I'll let you get back to work now," he said.

"Bye, James."

*

"Hey, do men know it's sexy when they take their shirt off one handed?"

Tony slowly turned away from the schematic hologram he was fiddling with. "I - What?"

Having gone too far now, Amanda clarified, "That thing guys do when they take their shirt off with one hand over their head." She mimed the gesture. "Do men know that's hot?"

He at least looked amused. "I didn't. Though, that's not how I take off my shirt."

"You should try it," she told him, looking back at her own work. "Pepper will probably dig it."

Tony snorted. "Between stabbings, surgeries, and a burn scar that runs from my ear to my ankle I think my strip-tease days are done."

"Aw, Tony, don't think like that. Were you unwed I would totally let you take me in a manly fashion."

"Okay, 1, that's gross, and 2, I am wed and have no problems in that department." He looked back at her. "Have we crossed the boundary now where we can talk about sex like in a locker room?"

She shrugged. "I'm not currently having any, but I doubt anything you say could shock me." She arched a brow. "I assumed I was in you 'one of the guys' compartment long before now."

"I honestly wasn't sure what your orientation was or if you even. . . had one."

Ouch, that stung a bit. Though possibly not unfair, the one mostly genderless android they knew did get more action than her. Tony knew better than to make assumptions. "I like men," was all she said.

"Do you currently like a particular man that is the germination of this topic?"

"Nope," she said, because between his history with Barnes and her own uncertainty in her emotions she wasn't ready to open that can of worms. "A guy did it in a show I was watching last night. Made me wonder."

Tony seemed to accept that. "You know how you were talking about improving on nature with my prosthetic hand?"

"I do remember that, yes. Have you finally come around?"

"It would be awesome if I could vibrate the fingers."

And that was why he'd wanted locker room permission. Still, this was someone she had opinions about. "It would be awesome. Do you know her favorite rhythm or do you want to do a variety?"

"There are a couple frequencies she's particularly fond of. Though they change. They're different now then they were in 2023, or the original 2018."

"I know you have no fear of making multiple versions, but I suggest starting out with something with various settings."

FRIDAY took that moment to break into the conversation. "Dr. Newbury, there's a man at the front desk named Colin West. He says he had a present for you from your father."

Her brow furrowed and she glanced up. "From my dad?"

"Yes."

She'd talked to her father two days ago and he hadn't mentioned anything. "I'll meet him int he lobby."

"You want me to come with you?" Neither Security nor FRIDAY would have let anyone armed or dangerous into the building, but Tony's fears about the safety of his loved ones ran to the bone.

"Sure," she said, because there was no reason not to. Her father was not the type to send her an embarrassing present at work. Though her dad was not a random gift giver either, so this was already weird.

They made their way down to the lobby to find her visitor. Colin West proved to be a man in his later fifties, wearing a shearling jacket and Timberland boots that were probably older than Wanda.

In his hand was a leash attached to a burly looking German Shepherd that was missing part of its ear.

"You have to be kidding me."

Colin grinned. "You must be Amanda. Your dad's told me a lot about you."

"He does that." She shook his hand and looked down at the dog. "I have a sneaking suspicion this is my present."

He nodded and reached down to scratch the dog's head. "This is Echo. She was injured in a bomb search. Her handler can't take her and your dad said you might need some company out here."

"Oh. She absolutely does," Tony said from behind her.

She gave him a dirty look, that he blithely ignored. She really wanted to protest that she'd never had a military dog before, and that she was too busy for a dog. But Echo was watching her intently and instead she found herself crouching down to hold out a hand for the dog to sniff.

She did so for a moment, then stepped closer so Amanda could pet her. "Hi Echo."

"I'll have a dog panel installed in your door," Tony said.

Amanda sigh and dug her fingers into the dog's thick fur. "Thanks Tony."

And just like that, she had a dog.

Colin had brought basic supplies for Echo, but she went into town for extras. The dog door had been installed by the time she returned. There was a post-it on it saying _No, I can't make the dog translation collar from Up._

Well, what good was he, then?

They spent the evening getting to know one another and she brought the dog in to work when she went the next morning, a little concerned at what a bored military dog might do without supervision.

"You know, with the dog you've really taken a big step towards supervillain."

Amanda idly pet Echo's head, studying the new arm design - with vibration - that Tony was fine tuning. "Isn't that usually cats?"

"I assure you a 100 pound German Shepherd with a matching face wound, does the job just fine."

She smiled. "I give you two weeks before you've built her a suit and suggesting I bring her on missions. IronDog."

He turned all the way around. "That's a brilliant idea."

Lani and Pepper were going to yell at her for that, she just knew it.

She called her dad that night to thank him for the dog.

"I just worried about you being out there by yourself."

"Dad. I'm surrounded by superheroes on the most advanced security compound in get country."

"Doesn't mean you can't be lonely."

Later, tossing a toy for Echo as they walked along the beach, she tried to decide if she was lonely or not. She had been alone most of her life. The last few years - and the missing years - were the few times in her life that she was surrounded by friends. Tony certainly dragged her out of her shell more often than any other friend ever had. For someone used to keeping the world at arm's length, talking sex and arm vibrators was a big step.

Echo brought her the kong she'd been throwing. Before she could toss it again the dog went bounding off into the surf, trying to bite the water.

Amanda laughed and pulled her phone out to take a picture. Maybe her dad was smarter than she gave him credit for.

The next morning, Barnes was knocking on her door. "So. . . you got a dog?"

She was still working on her morning tea and took a moment to process that. "Yes? Couple days ago. My dad sent her."

"She's, uh, herding the goats."

After gaping a moment, she managed to say, "You're shitting me."

He waved her out onto the porch and she stepped into her Birkenstocks, following him out and down the steps, over to the land between their houses. There, in the wide open space behind their line of cabins, was Echo, hunkered close to the ground and slowly moving forward, forcing a large group of goats into a tighter cluster.

Covering her mouth with hand, she said, "I'm so sorry. I didn't know she knew how to do that."

He gestured at the hill. "I mean, they need to roam to eat the grass, but I appreciate the help."

"Echo!" She whistled sharply and brought her hand to her chest. " _Hier_!" 

She jumped up and ran over to them, abandoning the goats. Amanda bent to greet her rubbing her face and neck. "Good girl. What a clever girl you are, yes." She sat without being told and looked up at her, tongue lolling, looking quite proud of herself.

Barnes crouched down. "Hi, Echo. We're going to have to share those goat."

Amanda made a point of putting her hand on his arm, so the dog would know she approved of him. That seemed to be all the permission Echo needed to sniff him thoroughly and thump her tail a few times.

"I can lock the dog door at night," Amanda offered. "Unless you need her to herd them for some reason."

"Nah," he said. "We can work something out. Can't we, girl?" He addressed that to the dog.

Echo's tail thumped a few more times. Amanda stepped closer to her porch and reached through the rail to grab one of the dog toys out of the bin and handed it to him. "Throw it. She'll be your friend for life."

He took it and and flung it. It sailed up and over the grove of trees at the top of the hill. Super soldier serum and all. "Uh."

But Echo took off like a bullet, racing up the hill.

Amanda crossed her arms. "Well, she'll sleep well tonight."

"Sorry," Barnes said, but she could see the ghost of a smile.

"No, no. I'm bringing her over to you next time she's bored."

"I'm glad you got her," he said. "Animals are good for us."

She nodded. "Dad thought I'd be lonely. I never thought about it much. But it's nice to have another heartbeat in the house."

"I thought it was ridiculous when Shuri first gave me a goat. What would I do with this thing? And now look at me."

"Bucky the one-armed goat herder."

"White Wolf, is what they called me. I like it better than Winter Soldier."

"White Wolf." She nodded, watching Echo come running back down the hill, purple toy clenched in her teeth. "It suits you." Especially now that his hair was growing back out after cutting it for the time travel.

"I'm not sure it was a compliment at first, but it stuck."

"Well, sometimes those are the best kinds of nicknames. Ask me if I ever had a burning desire to be known as 'Doc' by most of the world."

He bent over to take the toy from Echo and tossed it again. "Doc suits you."

"So Tony insists." He hadn't thrown it as far this time, but Echo still got a good run out of it. the goats had decided they could wander again and the tight cluster was starting to separate.

"Have you had breakfast yet?" he asked after a moment.

She shook her head, lifting her tea cup. "I just got up."

"You wanna go grab a bite?"

That felt. . . weirdly like an invitation to a date. It wasn't, of course, but it felt like one. It was something Tony would make fun of her for, if he heard about it. Still, she found herself saying, "Sure. Let me put my cup inside and put real shoes on."

He nodded, then turned and whistled for Echo, who was visiting the goats again. The whistle got her attention and he gave the call and hand signal that Amanda had done. The dog was heading his way as she headed into the house.

She really hoped he didn't end up stealing her dog.

They borrowed one of the cars, and ended up at a little cafe near the water. "I really wanted eggs benedict," he said, though technically he had ordered crab benedict. "As it turns out, I can't make hollandaise."

"Wow," she said. "I wouldn't even _attempt_ hollandaise."

"I'm trying to learn to cook. Might be easier when I've got the arm back."

"We're zeroing in on a final design," she offered. "I can get it back to you soon."

"I told you you could have it as long as you needed and I meant it."

She held up her hands in surrender. "It just feels strange, holding your arm hostage."

"I trust you, Amanda," he said. "And I don't trust a lot of people."

He said it so solemnly, she couldn't help but be touched. It was a sweet thing to say, and she had a good idea of what an understatement it probably was. "Feeling's mutual," she assured him.

His smile was entirely genuine. "Good."

Oh. Maybe this was a little bit a date.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _She sighed deeply and looked up at the ceiling. "In case you find a lady friend at recovering brainwashed assassin anonymous," she said, in a tone that indicated she was quoting directly._

While he was armless, Bucky's training sessions seemed to mostly involve a treadmill, so he was happy when FRIDAY interrupted his workout. "Dr. Newbury asked you to come to her office at your earliest convenience."

It was probably vain, but he decided to shower and change first.

In the interest of not undoing the shower he'd just had, he took one of the cars down to the main building. When he got to her lab, he found her bent over one of Stark's hologram tables. Echo was lounging on a very fancy looking dog bed along one well. When he came in, she lifted her head, immediately on alert. Then she recognized him, thumped her tail in greeting, and resettled.

Amanda smiled at him, wiggling her fingers in a wave. "Hey. We're all done with your arm."

"That is very good news," he said. "You finished Stark's yet?"

"We finalized the designs. He's got them in production and I should be doing surgery to attach connectors by the end of the week." She paused, glancing over at him. "I actually have something to show you, if you have a minute."

"For you I always do."

She looked vaguely flustered, as she often did when he attempted flirting with her. Which was the main reason he found the guts to keep trying.

After clearing her throat a couple times, she poked something on the table and brought up a schematic of an artificial arm. For a moment he thought she was showing him one of Stark's, but then he realized this was a full limb, elbow included, and Stark wouldn't need that much.

"I know you said not to," she said hesitantly. "But I just had some thoughts."

He came closer to the table. "I trust you."

She flashed a smile. "This one is an all purpose, everyday one. The skeletal structure is made from the same gold alloy as the suits, so it won't add extra bulk. We can do a thin layer of nannite tech to give it fluidity of motion and allow you to moderate the pressure you're using." She rotated the blue print and pulled it apart so he could see each layer. "Over that, we can do a layer of Cho's second skin wrapped with a photostatic veil. You can use FRIDAY to program it to look however you like. Metal, or normal skin if you're some where you don't want to stand out. All together, it will weigh what your other arm does, so it won't feel foreign or cumbersome."

He was really astounded by what he was looking at. There was engineering in that, too. He wasn't sure he wanted to ask who'd done it. "That's amazing," he whispered.

"It will be fragile," she warned. "Or at least as fragile as a normal human arm. You will still need to use the vibranium one if you're going to be going any more fighting than a bar fight. But you'll be able to do even very fine work, cooking, self care, dressing." She paused and made a face. "Tony insisted I mention it will vibrate."

He looked up at it. "Why?"

She sighed deeply and looked up at the ceiling. "In case you find a lady friend at recovering brainwashed assassin anonymous," she said, in a tone that indicated she was quoting directly.

_Oh._ His face heated. He might actually, legitimately be blushing. "That, uh. . .um." He cleared his throat, trying to ignore the images floating into his mind about what was under her labcoat. "That was. . .not a part of Steve's primer on women in the 21st century."

"Oh, I'm going to kill him," she muttered, still looking at the ceiling. "Tony and I have recently crossed the last line of our friendship into allowing locker room talk and he's taking full advantage. But, yes. Most women would enjoy a little. . . extra stimulation and we are ending this train of conversation right now."

"Fine by me," he said, suddenly wanting to ask her what _she_ liked.

" _Anyway_. If you approve we can put it into production and you can try it out by Wednesday or Thursday."

"That would be great," he said. "Thank you." He looked at her, and she was smiling. He thought she was gorgeous when she smiled.

"You're very welcome. I'm glad you like it."

"Have it made," he said. "I'd love to wear it."

"I'll get right on it," she told him, collapsing the schematics down. "For now, do you want me to attach the old one?"

"Yeah, thanks." He didn't need it. And he could put it on himself. But he wasn't going to say either of those things, because she'd offered to do it.

He pulled his shirt off as she went to the back of her office and returned with the arm. It was clean and gleaming, as if she'd detailed it in preparation for giving it back. "Tony tinkered a little," she told him, standing close to his side to reattach it. "Said the elbow joint was grinding and one of the fingers was out of alignment."

"You really didn't need to ask him. . ."

"You _really_ underestimate how much that man loves to tinker with things. I didn't so much ask him as not beat him off with a stick when he tried to look at it."

The arm connections clicked in, and it's sensory input reached his nerves. It was a disconcerting feeling, made even more so by the fact that she was touching him and he could feel it.

She finished fiddling and moving his arm around, then stepped back. "Okay?"

He flexed his hand. "Yes. Thank you."

"Not a problem. I'll let you know when the new one is ready."

He was reluctant to go, but it would probably be weird to stay. "Got it. See you around, Doc."

She smiled and gave his arm a little squeeze. "See you soon."

Bucky had to admit, when he went to training the next day, that the arm did seem to function better. And he got to have more productive training. Though the first thing he did with it was spend a morning catching the Cap shield that Sam flung at him. It was like frisbee, only frisbee that might decapitate him if done wrong.

"You know, you don't _have_ to use the shield," he said when they stopped for a water break. "It's really more a symbol."

"Yeah, I know." Sam looked down at it. "I don't think I'd take it into a fight, it'd just be in the way. But he gave it to me, so. . ." He shrugged.

"Yeah." He downed some water. "Well, I'll play murder frisbee all you want. Maybe we can involve Doc's dog next time."

"Murder frisbee. I like that. We should tell Steve we've finally named his fighting style."

"Have you heard from him recently?" Bucky asked. "Last time we talked he was about to start filming his painting show and Sharon's family was dying to go on vacation." Steve had been hilariously nervous about both.

"I did," Sam replied. "Apparently it's either a beach house, or Disney World. I didn't offer my opinion."

"Steve will get mobbed at Disney," Bucky said.

"Apparently Sharon has nieces and nephews that want to go."

He shook his head. "Poor guy. I'd say we should cook up an emergency for him to come help with. But Sharon would kill us all."

"I still can't believe they were that serious. Last I'd heard they were just hooking up when they happened to be in the same hemisphere."

"He didn't tell me about her at all." They sounded a bit like offended Italian mothers, but given what had been going on, Bucky felt they were entitled.

"Well, you were in Wakanda. I only knew because all of us on the lam together kept everyone appraised of our locations." He looked over at Bucky. "Bet Nat knew."

"They certainly seemed close." Nat had retired to Clint's farm with his family, declaring she had now officially given her life for the cause and was going to spend her second chance growing vegetables and being a good auntie. But he had seen enough of her interacting with Steve to know she'd probably known all his secrets. "He was never one to kiss and tell. Certainly not about anyone he really liked."

"I believe that," he said with a nod.

To his utter shock, Bucky found himself asking, "Are you seeing anyone?"

Sam smiled. "I'm. . .working on something. Not sure if it's something to talk about yet, though. You know?"

He nodded. "I know exactly what you mean."

Sam raised an eyebrow. "Do you now? Maybe one day we'll have one of those double dates you used to drag Steve on."

That appealed to him, in a way that surprised him. A sliver of normalcy, perhaps. Or at least what he used to think of as normal. "May they go better than those did," he said, lifting his water bottle as if in a toast."

Two days later, he was called in to try on his new arm.

He was a little concerned that Stark would be there, the limb was clearly his baby as much as Amanda's, but it was just her when he arrived. The new arm was sitting on the exam table, looking for all the world like a regular arm, save for being a sickly pale color.

"Ignore the jaundiced look," Amanda told him as he took a seat. "We'll program it to look how you like once it's on."

"I trust you," he said.

She flashed a brief smile and waited for him to tug his shirt off before unfastening his vibranium arm. She was getting pretty fast at that. In barely a minute it was sitting on the exam table and she was bringing the new one over. It was leaner and lighter, he could tell just by how she carried and held it.

"It has identical fastenings to the other one," she told him as she started to fit it to him. "So you'll be able to take it on and off yourself if needed."

"That's handy. I'd hate to have to knock on your door at random times."

He felt the little puff of her amused laugh against his neck as she bent close to get the last couple connectors. "FRIDAY, bring it online, please," she said. There was a little. . . hum, almost like the prickly sensation when your limb falls asleep. Then the nerves connected to the arm and he could _feel_ it. It was entirely different from the kind of feeling he had in the vibranium arm. This one felt. . . real.

"The look on your face indicates sensation has kicked in." She straightened. "Can you move it?"

He flexed his fingers. He could feel the skin stretching as he opened his palm. "This is amazing."

Looking utterly delighted, she said, "The second skin calibrated to have the same nerve endings as a normal arm, so you should be able to feel even the lightest of touches." As if to demonstrate, she trailed her fingertips down his arm.

He felt a shiver run through him. It was the first time a sensation from that arm had felt good since 1945. "Do that again," he whispered, not even caring how pleading it sounded.

She hesitated for a heartbeat, then drew her fingers up the arm. This time he could feel the tips of her nails and the feeling raised goosebumps on his other arm. That. . . felt something better than good. He looked up at her, and saw the same thing reflected back in her eyes. If he wanted to, he could pretend he was testing the sensitivity of the fingertips, and so he turned his hand so he could return the touch, dragging his fingers along the underside of her forearm.

Her sharp inhale was audible. He could feel her shiver the way he had and she curled her hand around his bicep, rubbing lightly with her thumb.

He lifted his hand to touch her hair, brushing off a piece that fell onto glasses. He could feel the individual strands. "Amanda," he said quietly.

She sucked in a soft breath and stepped a little closer to him. "James."

He traced the side of her face, and brushed his thumb over her cheek. Then he cupped her jaw and pulled her close enough to kiss. He swallowed the soft sound she made. Then she curled her arms around him, opening her mouth to him. He pulled her close, wrapping his other arm around her back. He couldn't even remember the last time he kissed a woman, and she was perfect.

It went on for a few moments, the two of them trying to say as close as possible as they explored each other. Finally, they broke to breathe a little. She smiled, looking shy, resting her forehead on his.

"I feel like I should apologize," he said. "But I don't want to."

"Don't you, _dare_ ," she whispered, smiling.

"In that case, can I do it again?"

"You'd better."

He grinned and wrapped both arms around her, leaning in for another kiss. He stroked his new hand up her spine, her neck, into her hair. He was amazed what he could feel with it. She shifted and he pulled her closer, into his lap. That got him a little squeaking sound, but she didn't break the kiss, only wrapped her arms around him to hold herself up.

This was probably getting out of hand. They were in her lab and all. But he couldn't bring himself to actually stop kissing her. This had been simmering a long time.

The next time they broke to breathe, she stroked her hand along his jaw. "So the arm is a hit?"

"Yeah," he said. "But that isn't why I kissed you."

"I didn't think it was." She ran her hand down and wove her fingers with his. "I am not so completely lacking in skills I haven't noticed the flirting."

He laughed. "I can't believe you think you have worse social skills."

"I think I give you a run for your money."

"Well." He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "At least we match."

"We do," she agreed, studying his face. Slowly, she kissed his cheek, then eased herself off his lap. "We probably shouldn't make out in my exam room, though."

"Yeah. Yeah, probably not." 

"We do live next to each other, though."

He stroked his hands down her arms. "Can I take you out to dinner?"

"Of course. I'd like that."

Bucky look down at his arm. "Can I keep it on?"

"It's yours," she told him. "If you have any problems with it, let me know. But FRIDAY can run a diagnostic on it as long as you're in a building or vehicle with her in it. And she can change the appearance if you want."

"It does. . . kind of look like a dead guy's hand right now."

"Yeah." She touched it again, so clearly it didn't bother her. "What do you think? Metal or skin?"

"Metal," he said, because it was what he expected his left hand to look like. "For now, anyway."

She nodded in understanding. "FRIDAY, set the veil to the metal version."

It flickered, and then it looked like his metal arm again. He touched it and murmured, "It's warm."

"That's the second skin." She covered his hand with hers. "I wanted it to be as real as possible."

"I don't know if I thanked you properly. I mean other than kissing you. But thank you."

"You are very, very welcome. I'm glad you like it."

He loved how very proud she looked. "Seven for dinner?"

She nodded and her smile turned shy. "I'll be ready."

*

There were moments in Amanda's life when it became very, very clear that she had surrounded herself with meddling, sarcastic people who were too interested in her love life. This occurred to her when she tried to think of who she could talk to about her upcoming date and realized her first two instincts - Tony and her sister - would have the time of their lives with this information. Her sister might show up with a shotgun and a wedding dress.

After a lot of dithering, she decided to go with option C and called Pepper. 

"Do you have something to wear?" was Pepper's main concern. She'd known Amanda long enough to know what her wardrobe looked like.

"I don't think so, no." she admitted.

"I'm coming back from a meeting in the city, I can swing around and pick you up. And anybody else who feels like shopping and pedicures." There was a pause, and Amanda could hear Pepper's assistant's voice in the background, then Pepper came back on. "You need anything waxed?" 

Amanda loved this woman. She hadn't even asked who the date was with. 

"It's my first date, I don't think I'm that kind of lady. Do you want me to call the others or will you?"

"I'll do it. I'll blame myself and then you can tell them what you wish. It isn't a lie—I did need to go, I don't have any pants left that fit." Despite what they'd all assumed when Morgan had miraculously turned up in the past, Pepper had still been pregnant after all. After a brief period of time where everyone worried there might be some sort of confusing clone situation, testing had shown the baby to be a boy. Even as a doctor Amanda didn't entirely understand. As Thor liked to say, space magic.

"Fair enough. Though I think everyone here knows me well enough to grow suspicious if I buy a dress."

"Wanda's a telepath, all I can buy you is time."

She laughed, then sighed. "Yeah. Well. I'll see you when you get here, then."

Amanda knew Lani would come along if she could—and Lani knew who the man was. It had been strange to find five years of their friendship missing, after they'd rolled back time, but they'd picked up like it never happened. She'd believed Amanda without needing the secret code. Hope would join if she were around, and Wanda was 50/50. She was a _lot_ younger than the rest of them, but Amanda knew she missed Natasha, and had been trying to be more social.

So she wasn't entirely surprised that all three of them were out waiting for Pepper.

"Clearly everyone is in the mood for a girls day," she commented, joining the little cluster.

"I'm here for the pedicure," Hope said. In the distance you could see the Starks' Bentley coming up the drive.

"Cute toes are important," Wanda commented sagely.

Once they were all in the car, and on the roads headed up over the hills to the more densely populated side of the peninsula, conversation circulated with deliberate casualness. 

Amanda sighed. "None of you are subtle."

"Give them credit for tryinng," Lani said, looking amused.

"I haven't even snooped in your head," Wanda offered. "Even though you are practically glowing with it."

"I have a date," Amanda said. "And I want to get a dress."

She could see all of them react, though all of them contained it. Then Hope looked at Pepper and asked, "Do you even need pants?"

"No, I faked my pregnancy to give Amanda's love life cover."

"That is the level of friendship I want you all to strive for," Amanda informed them solemnly.

"Are we allowed to know who it is?" Wanda asked. "I mean, I know. I don't know if I'm supposed to. Probably not." 

It would probably come out eventually. With her luck someone was going to wander into the same restaurant they were at tonight, or something. "Sergeant Barnes."

No one looked surprised. Maybe Hope did, a little, but she had a pretty good poker face. Pepper said, "You know, when Tony first mentioned it, I thought he was full of shit."

Amanda turned to look at her. "He knows?"

"He told me he thought you and Barnes had the hots for each other. Later he asked me if I thought it would be a violation of some sort of sexual harassment laws to put a vibrator in Barnes's prosthetic arm."

"I find myself wanting to look that up," Lani commented. "Though feel it's a pretty unique case."

"I told him he couldn't tell you it was for you," Pepper said.

"When he brought it up, it was about you. In the same conversation he admitted he didn't know if I had a sexual orientation."

"Oh, it was after that."

She tipped her head back on the seat. "My life is so weird."

"I can't believe you're just figuring that out," Hope said.

"It's just that sometimes I can forget and then something reminds me and I start missing war zones."

"Fair. I've never known any different. I was raised in the weird."

Lani had her considering face on. "There's an essay to be written on coping skills of people raised in the superhero business versus those not. Pepper? Can I use your child as a test subject?"

"Sure, why not. I'll call Laura Barton, you can use hers as a control."

"Did I tell you I'm trying to talk them into coming out to California to visit this summer?" Wanda asked. "I've got the women on board."

Pepper turned. "Tony's been making noise about buying a place up in Tahoe. We could invite everybody, make it a thing."

Amanda was very grateful that for the rest of the drive, the conversation had moved off of her.

They drove to a little out door shopping center full of high end shops and department stores. "Clothes first," Pepper announced. "Then nails and such. Does anyone but Amanda and I have any priorities?"

Noncommittal noises and Wanda wanted eyeliner. So they tackled Amanda's dress first, God help her.

"How much of a heart attack are you hoping to give him?" Hope asked as they walked to the first store.

"I mean, I'm a doctor, so none?"

"When was the last time you were on a date, Doc?" Wanda asked.

This is where it got embarrassing again. "Twenty years ago."

They all looked at her. All of them. Finally Pepper said, "It's probably been longer for him."

"No one froze her," Hope said, gesturing at Amanda.

"All right, all right," Lani said, making a shooing motion with her hands. "Lets go try on some clothes."

Mercifully, everyone spread out once they were in the shop, so Amanda had a little space to wander and poke at different dresses. It was summertime, so there were plenty of cute sundresses to choose from. She felt like she might be a little old to pull of a flowered sundress, but thought anything more formal might be inappropriate for a casual dinner date.

Wanda appeared next to her. "Solid colored sundress."

"Was my dithering very loud?" Amanda asked, pulling a pale green one off the rack and studying the cut.

"For a moment I couldn't tell if it was coming through my head or my ears."

"Sorry. I know it's probably silly. This of all things gets my anxiety going." There was a blue dress with an uneven hem at the next rack over and she wandered over to look at that one.

"Don't apologize. I could tell you about my experiences about taking someone shopping who used to materialize all his clothing using the magic stone in his head. I had to explain pants.

That, at least, made Amanda laugh. "Does he understand them? I feel like that'd be a weird concept to explain to a being of logic."

"Mostly. But he doesn't like zippers." She sighed. "I can't hear him in my head anymore. I miss that."

Vision had come back without the mind stone in his head. It had lessened some of his powers, including, apparently, his telepathy. But for the most part he seemed like himself. "Are you two doing all right?" Amanda asked, flicking the the rack for her size.

"It's a big improvement over clandestine meetings," she replied. "He's as strange as I am. It works."

"It's nice," Amanda said, finding her size in the blue dress. "To find someone who makes you feel less alone."

"Perhaps you have, too."

"I think maybe I have. Probably why I'm stressing."

"We'll get you some new lipstick. You should see what that stuff stays on through nowadays."

Amanda's brows went up. "You have my interest."

They ended up in the dressing rooms with armload of stuff—though most of it turned out to be Pepper's. Amanda'a blue dress looked great.

Lani went so far as to whistle at her when she came out of the dressing room. "I hope you realize you have excellent legs."

Amanda glanced down, twisting a little to make the skirt flare. "I never thought about it."

"Trust me, I'm an expert on legs."

"That's the dress," Wanda said.

"That was remarkably painless." Amanda smoothed her hands down the skirt. "Thanks all."

They hit the makeup counters next. Wanda had lots of opinions, though she tended to wear more—and younger—makeup than the rest of them. The apparently indelible lipstick was pretty cool, though.

When they were done there, they brought their bags back to the car. "Now," Pepper said. "Follow me to the spa."

They sat in a row in pedicure chairs, except for Lani—pedicure in a random salon was a safety risk when you couldn't feel your feet—and it was nice to relax. "This wasn't just to spiff you up, you know," Pepper said to her.

"I hope not. It's only a first date."

"I was just thinking we should do this more."

"Shopping and pedicures?"

"Girl time of some sort, yet. We all swim in a lot of testosterone while working." She shrugged. "It's nice. The world is spinning on again."

"It would be nice to spend more time with women." And have friends other than Tony to talk things over with.

"Good. I'll make it a thing."

"It was nice," Amanda said. "When we were all huddled together after the end of the world. I figure it'll be even better when there's no looming apocalypse."

"Still not sure I'm used to that." She looked in the direction of the other women. "I kind of envy those that don't remember."

"Yeah," she said softly. "It's a lot to carry, sometimes."


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Sounds like fun." He paused. "Try to finish the mission before you call Steve to gossip about my love life, eh?"_

Bucky wore his new arm when they went out to dinner. It felt like a halfway point between wearing nothing, and wearing the vibranium arm. It didn't feel like an instrument of war, but it was nice to have a second hand.

He even made it look like a human hand, and it made him feel remarkably. . . normal.

He walked over to her cabin to pick her up. When she opened the door, he was honestly speechless for a moment. Her hair was loose and brushed out, and she was wearing a dark blue dress with an asymmetrical hemline. She was even wearing makeup, which he didn't think he'd ever seen her wear before.

"God, you're gorgeous," he said finally.

Her cheeks pinked, but she smiled. "Thank you. You look really nice."

He turned and offered her his arm. "Shall we?"

She tucked her hand into the crook of his elbow, stepping into his side. "Lead the way."

"I borrowed a car," he told her as they walked towards it. "Took it for a test drive just to make sure I remembered how to drive."

"You seemed to have made it through unscathed."

"Muscle memory is pretty permanent." He opened the passenger side door for her.

That earned him another delighted smile as she slid in, tucking her skirt in with her. He got in, turned the key, and the engine roared to life. They took Highway 1 up to the city, the sun setting into the ocean off to their left. It was a hell of a view.

"We used to go to the beach for vacation when I was a kid," she commented, watching through the window. "I'm glad Tony got land so close to the water."

"Reminds you of home?"

She nodded. "I take Echo for walks on the beach. It's peaceful."

"That dog has my goat herd running like a military unit, by the way."

"She is a tribute to her trainers," she said, laughing a little. "I sent a video to dad. It's been a hit at the Vet group he goes to."

"Fire season is nearly upon us, so it's good they're getting the brush cleared. I barely have to do anything."

"You could rent them out if they finish off our area."

"I keep hearing about that, but I find it weird. They're. . . I don't know, mine. I don't want to rent them like farm equipment."

"No, I can understand that," she said. "They're more like your pets than proper live stock. I was kidding," she added. "About renting them."

"When I woke up in Wakanda, Princess Shuri gave me one and told me I needed to be responsible for something, start with this." 

"They're your emotional support goats."

Bucky laughed. "Maybe a little."

"Everyone needs something. I would never have gotten a dog on my own, but Echo's been good for me."

"Your father knows you well, doesn't he?"

"We're similar people," she admitted. "Though I think he's more of a softie than me."

"Did he survive the original snap?"

"No," she said quietly. "I lost him and my sister."

"I'm sorry," he replied. He was grateful he'd put the arm on, now, because he could hold the wheel with one hand, and reach over and hold her hand with the other. "Those of us who dusted really did get the better end of the deal, didn't we?"

"Kinda." She ran her thumb along the back of his hand. "It was a rough time."

"I don't mean to drag up ugly stuff. . ."

She shook her head. "It's all right. Really. No landmines here."

"Still. I should at least get some wine in you before I start talking about dead people."

"That does seem the polite thing to do."

She didn't let go of his hand, and that made him happy. Not until they'd gotten all the way into San Francisco, and he had to pull it back because driving on those hills was a two-hand task.

FRIDAY had found the restaurant and it mercifully had valet parking. Bucky felt a little nervous handing the keys over, but Amanda took his hand again as they walked into the building and he decided he didn't care.

They managed not to talk about any gloomy topics over their very delicious meal. She told him a lot about her super soldier serum and nerve regeneration research. Apparently she was a big part of the reason Rhodey could walk as well as he could with the braces. He was reminded how much he really enjoying listening to her talk.

"So now I'm tweaking it to work with some neurological conditions. The Alzheimer's Association is really interested, due to some new breakthroughs they've had, but I also see potential for help with ALS and even cerebral palsy."

"I love that you are taking something that was made as a weapon and using it for good."

She smiled brilliantly. "I like to think it's what Erskine would have wanted. I've read a lot of his notes and even personal diaries. He was always frustrated that he had to work with the Army to get funding."

"Sam told me once that war pushes forward technology on a lot of fronts, because that's when governments are most free with funding. Medicine included."

"A lot of major medical breakthroughs stem from one war or another," she agreed. "The Civil War caused a huge jump in surgery techniques. And WWII gave us wider use of antibiotics, the use of metal plates for fractures, and even chemotherapy."

He rested his left hand on the table and opened his palm. "I hope this can be put into production someday, for people."

"Oh, believe me, it's on my list." She reached over and touched the palm of his hand. "Stark is on it, too. He wants to spend his retirement putting good into the world."

"I think all of us want that. Make good with our second chance."

"We're in a good position to do it, I think. We've seen what happens when we don't work together."

Bucky chuckled a little. "Yeah."

Her fingers stroked his hand lightly, sending chills through him. "Sorry. I feel like I've been doing all the talking."

"Talking isn't really my strong suit." And now he was having trouble paying attention to anything other than her touch.

"Was it ever? Or is that so long ago it doesn't matter?"

He chuckled. "I'm told once upon a time I was very charming."

"I've seen pictures. You certainly looked dreamy."

He ducked his head. "Thanks."

The waiter came by to see if they wanted dessert and she slowly withdrew her hand, agreeing to take a look at the menu. He felt the loss, and was tempted not to order anything. But the last thing on earth he wanted to do was rush this.

The menus came, along with a refill on their wine. Amanda ordered hot tea and bread pudding. And put her hand on his again once she'd handed the menu back.

They held hands through desert, and all the way out of the resteraunt. "I had a really nice time," he said as they waited for the valet to bring the car around.

"So did I," she told him, pressing closer to him. "Worth the dress shopping."

"This dress is fantastic," he told her, putting his arm around her shoulder. She tucked closer, sliding an arm around his waist. She was just the perfect height to do this with.

It was the most natural thing in the world to dip his head down to kiss her. She turned into him, wrapping her other arm around him, tucking it under his jacket so he could feel the heat of her through his shirt. Behind them the valet honked, as their car was back. He very reluctantly let her go.

Her expression said she felt the same. Still, they parted long enough to get into the car. He needed both hands to drive again and she felt very far away. Then she reached over and lightly touched his knee with her fingertips.

_Don't crash the car. Don't crash the car._ It was a very long drive home.

Walking back to the houses from where he parked the car, they held hands again. It felt very much like the ending of a dozen dates he'd been on. Once upon a time, in another life.

They stepped at her door and she turned to him, looking oddly shy and nervous. Before he could assure her he wasn't expecting anything or preemptively say goodnight, she popped up on her toes and kissed him.

He groaned, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her for real. She made a quiet, happy sound in his mouth, cupping the back of his head with one hand as the kiss deepened and took off.

They backed up against her door. He should probably stop. If anybody came outside, they'd see them. But at this particular moment, he didn't care. When he did finally lift his head, she took a shaky breath, laughing a little. "Wow."

He rested his forehead against hers. "Yeah."

She was quiet a moment, playing with his hair. "I'd like to invite you in for some tea and more making out. But I want to make it clear from the beginning I'm not going to sleep with you tonight."

He cleared his throat. "I would not have asked you to."

"I believe you. But I figured this was one of those times it was good to make sure everyone was on the same page."

He grinned at her. "In that case, I would love to come in for tea and making out."

"Good." She kissed him quick, then turned to let them into her house.

Echo came bounding up to them, eager to say hello. Bucky crouched down to pet the dog. "Who's a good girl?" he asked her, scratching her neck.

She wiggled around under his hands before flopping down and presenting her belly for rubs. He decided to do it with the artificial arm, and it felt remarkably natural. "This thing really is something else."

Amanda had wandered to the kitchen to start tea. "I don't toot my own horn much, but I am super proud of that arm. And the one we're making for Tony."

He sat on the stool at her kitchen counter. "My vibranium arm is a marvel of engineering. The Princess is probably the best in the world at what she does. But it still feels like a weapon. This one feels like, well, an arm."

"I think Tony is going to end up with a dozen of his. But I think it's good. One of our goals for commercial production is having one people can easily customize for different purposes."

"Like the one I had that scared children?"

"Sure but with pliers and hooks too." Her grin indicated she might be kidding, but only a little. "Do you like anything in your tea?"

"A little sugar," he replied.

She finished fixing the two cups and brought them over to the island he'd taken a seat at. "All in all, he's handling the one arm thing pretty well. I think it helps that it immediately became a project to do."

"It's the little things that get you. Like not being able to button your shirt. Is he right handed? That must be so much worse. At least I can write."

"He is right handed," she confirmed. "But he already does a lot of things through FRIDAY, so dictating comes pretty naturally."

Bucky took a drink from his cup. "You have very fancy tea."

"I've drunk a lot of terrible hospital tea. I refuse to suffer any longer."

They ended up taking their mugs and sitting on her couch, which was far cozier than he expected. It had a couple of intricately knit blankets on it. They looked handmade. "My mother knit," he commented. "She'd make things like this."

"I made those," Amanda said. "My mom taught me when I was little. It's good when I need to unwind at the end of the day."

He lifted one to look at it better. "This is beautiful." He looked back at her. "Your mom still around?"

She shook her head. "She died when I was eight. Cancer. It's why I became a doctor, at least partly."

"To cure cancer?"

"It's a goal," she admitted, looking a little embarrassed.

"Hey, considering what you've done so far, I don't think it's an unrealistic one."

She sipped her tea and ducked her head. "It's getting closer."

"You are sincerely the smartest woman I have ever met in my life. And I'm a hundred years old."

"Thank you," she said. "Though I don't know how many genius ladies you were meeting in that long middle part there."

"Granted." He paused a moment. "And, I have to admit, you're probably second. Shuri might be the smartest human alive." He grinned at her. "Though I know she can't knit."

Amanda laughed. "I'll take second to Shuri any day of the week. She's remarkable."

He put his mug on the end table. "You done with your tea?"

After pausing to take one last swig, she nodded and leaned over to put it on the coffee table. When she leaned back, she made a point of shifting close to him. He reached for her, pulling her close enough to kiss.

They ended up stretching out together on the couch, kissing. It reminded him of a few heavy petting sessions he vaguely remembered, usually in the back of a movie theater, but a few times back at his place. He let her set the pace, perfectly content just to kiss.

It didn't go much further than that, which was kind of nice. Just to take their time.

Her couch was very comfortable, and they were still tangled up when they fell asleep.

*

Amanda woke up only a couple hours later to someone banging on the front door and Echo barking. She was momentarily disoriented, not used to sleeping on her couch, or with two hundred pounds of super soldier tangled up with her. Had he been a little slower, she probably would have fallen off the couch when she jerked awake.

"Hey, hey," he said, catching her. "Careful."

"Thanks," she mumbled, holding his arm to steady herself. "Echo, hush!"

He managed to get up gracefully, somehow. "Somebody's at the door," he said, walking towards it. She sat up and stretched, peering over the back of the couch as he opened it.

Sam was on the other side, hand up for another round of knocking. He froze and did a little double take when he saw James, before breaking into a grin. "Well now. How was your date?"

James folded his arms over his chest, and he cleared his throat twice. "What do you want?" he asked finally.

"We have a mission. Forest fire up north."

"Sounds like fun." He paused. "Try to finish the mission before you call Steve to gossip about my love life, eh?"

"It's a half hour flight I'll have plenty of time to gossip."

He turned back towards Amanda. "I should go gear up. I need my other arm."

She nodded, climbing off the couch. "I'll get dressed and see you at headquarters."

He gave Sam a side eye, then leaned in to kiss her. Sam whistled. "I'll see you soon," James said.

"Bye," she called, then pointed at Sam. "Shut it."

Sam help up his hands, and backed down her porch. She closed the door and went to her room to put on the loose pants and tank top she wore under the suit. She let Echo out, grabbed a cup of oatmeal and hiked in the pre-dawn light over to the HQ building.

It was a hive of activity in the hangar, everyone packing gear and getting ready. Sam strode over to her, already in his wings. "Hey. What's the heat tolerance of the hospital suit?"

"About three thousand Fahrenheit, last time we tested it."

He nodded. "I think that's what you should bring. The fire is moving very fast, rescue is going to be the priority before we get involved with the fire itself. Rhodes called Tønsberg to see if Thor could come stir up some rain, but he's off world. They're going to track him down, but it could be some time."

The original six had all retired, either because they had the good sense to know when they were done with fighting, like Clint and Nat, or because injury had forced them, like Tony, Steve, and Bruce. Thor had simply proclaimed he was taking a break, which she supposed was how it went when you were 1500 years old, but told them to call him if they had any particular unique needs. Certainly no one else could alter the weather.

"Sounds like local fire is already onsite, but there's a lot of people unaccounted for and a lot of affected houses. So they need us to do some search and rescue."

Amanda went to strap on the hospital suit, which had become a little more streamlined since the last snap but was still a monster to haul around. She traded out some of the wound care packs for more O2 tanks and burn care. She also loaded up the crash cart drone he'd whipped up for her, an early re-make of the EMT drones he'd made during the missing years.

"Let's go!" Sam bellowed from the back of the jet. "CalFire says it's moving faster than expected, we need to get in the air."

She jogged onto the jet, her drone trailing along after her. She appeared to be the last one on, which was vaguely embarrassing, but her equipment was important. Sam was still standing in the back when the gate went up, and Amanda turned her head in surprise to see James was at the controls. She hadn't known he knew how to fly a jet.

Deciding their relationship had never had a chance at being secret, she went up to lean on his chair. "Is this one of those skills I shouldn't ask where you acquired it?"

She could see his small smile. "Probably."

"Do you like it?"

"Flying?" He looked over at her. "Yeah. Nice suit."

"Thanks. It's my walking hospital."

"It's the one you were wearing at the big battle, isn't it?"

She nodded. "I usually only wear it for things that will likely have a lot of civilian casualties, like this, but Pepper wanted to be in the room so I let her use my lightweight suit."

"We're going in from above because of how fast the fire is moving. All the fliers are getting pitched out the back, which is why I'm here. I neither shrink, nor fly."

"I can still fly," she assured him. Leaning a little closer, she asked, "How much teasing are you going to get?"

He chuckled. "God knows. But I promise to set them straight if they make any assumptions."

"Gonna defend my honor?"

"Maybe I'm defending mine." 

"Ahh," she said, smiling. "You have a reputation to maintain."

"I'm not usually much of a kiss-and-tell kind of guy. I don't think so, anyway. My last date being in 1945 and all."

She kissed his cheek. "Do you think I have to worry about Rogers lecturing me about your honor?"

"I'm not sure I of all people have any kind of honor left." He probably meant it as a lighthearted joke, but it didn't quite come out that way.

Now was not the time to get into that, so she just gave his shoulder a squeeze and said, "We'll unpack that later."

"That was a very Lani thing to say," he replied.

"We do spend _a lot_ of time together."

He didn't reply, staring out the windshield. When he muttered, "Jesus," she looked ahead. The sky glowed orange.

She gave him another pat and headed for the back of the jet, ready to get dropped out.

"I am not flammable," Vision said as they waited for the gate to go down. "And the melting point of vibranium is far higher than a fire like this burns. Anyone needs a lift to safety, call out on the comms."

"Understood," Sam replied, settling his goggles on. "Everyone good?" They all gave thumbs up. "Here we go." The back of the jet opened and they took turns jumping out.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _You couldn't lie to Wanda, particularly not about your emotions, but she had the manners not to say that. Instead she said, "The last time I was that scared was in Wakanda."_

Jumping into an inferno was a fairly terrifying experience. Amanda could feel the heat through the suit. She breathed through the flicker of panic, following FRIDAY's directions to the nearest house reported to be occupied. 

The fire was moving so fast the roads were closed, and people had to be evacuated by air. James hovered as close as he could and they brought them up to the jet, until it was jam-packed and he had to take it to be emptied. They could ferry people out as they could carry, but they were barely ahead of the flames.

"Uh, guys. Guys we have a problem." That was Scott. He always sounded vaguely out of his depth, no matter what they were up to—and no matter how competently he was otherwise handling the problem. "I'm at the school, there are about 40 people in here and it's completely cut off."

"None of us can carry that many," Vision said. "Even me."

"We'll shelter them in place," Sam said. "Wanda?"

"I can put up a field," she said. "Protect us until the fire passes and we can get them out."

"Right. Everyone not currently ferrying someone meet at Scott's location. You got any injured there, Lang?"

"Uh, yeah. Burns, lot of coughing. Could use Doc."

"On my way," she confirmed before Sam could give the order. The house she'd been checking was empty, so she took off, heading for the little dot on her HUD map.

"Anybody anyone finds, bring them to the school," Sam said. "Wind's picking up and the fire is closing in."

The crowd was in the gymnasium of the school--the tree line behind it was fully aflame, and ash and embers blew everywhere, lighting nearby roofs. Wanda had the bubble up, and Vision seemed able to make holes in it to let people through. Amanda didn't understand how their powers worked, really, but knew they had been practicing how to use them in concert.

By the time everyone was inside the bubble, the school itself was on fire.

That wasn't disconcerting at all. Amanda watched it a moment, flinching when part of a beam let go and hit the shield. It didn't even waver and she decided it was in her best interested to ignore it and get to work.

There were, as Lang had said, a lot of injured. She did one quick triage pass, putting O2 masks on those that needed it and having those without burns to one side. It left her with about a dozen people, three kids and the rest adults. She started with the worst of them.

Burns were always ugly. The difference between a blister and some aloe and permanent muscle damage could be a couple of seconds. The painful ones were bad enough, but those who reported little to no pain worried her more. That indicated nerve damage and there wasn't much she could do about that with her current equipment.

The fire seemed to burn forever. It was sauna-hot inside, making her sweat and reminding her of the fight in Wakanda—a thought she ruthlessly pushed back down. Vision was helping Wanda hold the bubble up, but it was clearly mostly on her, and she was down on her knees crying with the effort. Amanda worked her way through her patients, trying not to think about what would happen if the bubble gave.

Outside, the hot flames began kicking off billows of smoke. It had started to rain.

"Thor has arrived," Vision announced, which cause a cheer to rise up from the gathered crowd.

It still took what felt like a very long time for the flames to go down far enough for Wanda to put the barrier down. She collapsed when it finally went and Amanda went over to check her, setting her up with her very last IV bag. The air in the gym was smoky and damp, but the temperature had ticked down to livable and they were no longer in immediate danger.

The crowd in the gym began staggering out of the charred building remains, wandering around in visible shock. The wind blew a gust of smoke and ash.

It looked - and smelled - like Wakanda right after the first snap. Ash coating the ground and hanging in the air. Amanda was one of the last out for the gym, monitoring two patients who were being carried by drone guided litters. The combination of hot, damp air and thick ash was an immediate, visceral memory trigger and for a couple seconds she had to just stand and breathe, hands shaking, afraid she was going to vomit.

Ahead she could see Sam turn around. "You okay, Doc?"

_Breathe_ she told herself firmly. _In through the nose, out through the mouth like you're blowing out a candle. Now get moving_. "Fine," she called back, slamming her faceplate down so she could start her own O2 flow. "Little head rush. Nothing to worry about."

Sam accepted that. Wanda was still looking at her, clearly concerned. She waved her off, getting her feet under her and started walking again.

It was a grim, depressing trudge out of the fire zone to safety. The Red Cross had set up a constantly moving aid station at the edge of the danger zone and were able to meet them with water and blankets for the survivors. Amanda spoke with their medical team, updating them on the condition of the injured and loading the worst few onto ambulances personally. This was the sort of emergency work she was best at and it was easy to block everything out and slip into the Doc persona to get it done.

"We're all loaded up," Sam said. "Doc, you want is to take everybody home and come back for you?" That was something she did a lot. And they were only a half hour from home.

Before she could reply, James cut in. "We'll wait," he said.

"We can just-" Sam started.

"We'll _wait_. Unless you want to wrestle me out of this chair, Wilson, we'll wait."

"I just have two more patients to hand off," she told them. "Less than half an hour. Everyone hydrate, I'll be there."

"Got it," Sam replied. Thankfully he sounded more amused than angry.

She wrapped up what she needed to, grabbed a bottle of water for herself, and made her way to the jet, looking forward to peeling herself out of this suit and knitting for the rest of the day.

When she came up the ramp, she could see James had the chair turn and was watching her. Like he wanted to confirm for himself she was onboard. She managed a smile and a wave. In return she got a brisk nod and he turned back again, doing his preflight checks. She went over to her little area on the jet and started pulling pieces off.

Wanda appeared next to her. "You okay?"

She nodded, making an effort to put everything back neatly. "Yeah. I'm good."

You couldn't lie to Wanda, particularly not about your emotions, but she had the manners not to say that. Instead she said, "The last time I was that scared was in Wakanda."

"You did a good job," Amanda told her, then looked over. "Are you okay? You looked pretty burnt out at the end."

"I almost lost control of it," she said quietly. "It was a near thing."

She nodded and retracted what was left of her suit before pulling the younger woman into a hug. It was as much for her as Wanda and they both knew it.

"Here I thought it would feel safer because there were no bullets," Wanda whispered.

"You never know what will be dangerous. All you can do is react."

"Yeah." She blew out a breath. "Maybe we can all take tomorrow off."

"I think that's a great idea."

Amanda kept herself busy the flight home, until she was asked to sit for landing. She stayed where she was as the rest of them got off, until it was just her and James. "Hey," he said. "Walk you home?"

Well, if her legs gave out at some point between there and here, he would be her first choice to carry her. She reached up and took his hand, letting him pull a little to get her to her feet. He held her hand, but otherwise respected her personal space. It occurred to her he was probably someone who didn't like being touched when stressed, either.

It was early evening, but late summer so the sun was low, but not quite setting yet. It still made the sky a riot of colors over the ocean as they walked. The air here smelled as it always did, fresh with the tang of salt and kelp drying out on the sand. For a moment she could pretend it was just a nice, romantic walk near the ocean.

"I couldn't see anything but smoke and the fireball," he said. 

She squeezed his hand. "You were worried."

"Yeah," he replied, then added, "I mean for everybody, of course."

"Of course." She was quiet a moment as they turned up the road to the houses. "It was scary," she admitted.

"You want to talk about it?"

"Not really?" She laughed a little, but there was no humor in it. "Lani would tell me I need to. I'm just. . . bad at it."

"When something scratches a painful memory—and I've got lots—it feels bad enough on it's own. Why go digging for worse?"

"Yeah," she said softly. They could see her house now and she suddenly, desperately, didn't want to be alone. "You want to come in for a while?" He gave her a silent nod, and followed her up her path. Echo was up with goats, he liked keeping an eye on them in early evening, when the coyotes came out. 

Home was good. It smelled and felt the same. Peaceful. She took a deep breath, trying to will her shoulders to relax. "I'm just. . . going to change."

He stroked his knuckles up her arm, sending shivers through her. "I'll put some tea on."

She nodded. "Thanks." He went off to the kitchen and she ducked into her bedroom, closing the door before she peeled her tank top off. It, and her sports bra, smelled of smoke and a lot of the feelings she'd had earlier came back. Gripping the edge of her dresser, she breathed through it a moment, before forcing herself to go into the attached bath and splash water on her face.

That turned into an impromptu sponge bath to get some of the sweat and soot off herself. When she no longer felt like breaking down, she pulled on pajamas and went back out into the living room.

The kettle was whistling. James was braced against the counter on his arms, head bent.

She turned the stove off on her way past, then stopped in front of him and leaned her head against his.

"You okay?" he whispered.

"I don't know," she admitted. "I had a minute there, with the ash and smoke. . . Dug up something I didn't know was hurting."

She could feel him nod. There wasn't really much he could say, but he brought his hand up—the real one—to cup her cheek. Slowly, slowly, he turned her face so their eyes met, and then he kissed her. 

It felt as good as it had the night before, though that felt ages ago. But there was something different to it, as well. Something urgent, desperate. She stepped closer, opening her mouth to him, digging a hand in his hair. He pulled her against his body, his other arm going around her waist. It was the vibranium one, not the one she had made him. It was very much a weapon, but he was holding her gently, like something precious.

He was warm and strong and very safe. So she sank into him, giving him some of her weight.

She didn't know how long they kissed like that, but the heat ratcheted up and up and up, until it seemed perfectly natural for him to lift her, swing her around, and set her on the counter. Her legs framed his hips and his hands were under her shirt—one warm skin, the other cool metal.

His hands slid up her ribs, thumbs brushing along the undersides of her breasts. She moaned, shuddering a little. "Yes," she mumbled on his mouth.

"Can I. . .?" he asked, the question she was already agreeing to. He tugged her shirt a little and she lifted her arms. He tossed it aside, and then his hands were on her again, a dichotomy of temperatures and textures. She tugged at the hem of his shirt, sliding a hand under, needing to feel his skin as well.

He did the thing with his shirt, pulling it off from the neck, and it was twice as hot right now. Then he kissed her again, deepening it and daring her to meet him. She did her best to do so, hooking her feet behind his thighs to hold him close to her, half lifting off the counter to hold him.

When he finally broke it, he was breathing hard. "'Manda."

"Still me," she whispered.

"I want you," he said, his voice low and dark.

God, if he was going to talk like that she was going to melt in a puddle before they got any farther. "Yes," she said. "Please."

He lifted her like she weighed nothing, resting all her weight on his metal arm. He turned, carrying her back in the direction of her bedroom.

"I confess, I find this extremely sexy," she told him as he nudged the door open with his foot.

"Good," he replied, and it was nearly a growl. He put her down on the bed, following her down when she tugged. He kissed her again and she moaned, tangling her fingers in his hair as his weight pressed her into the mattress. He pushed up on his metal arm, cupping one breast, stroking his thumb across her nipple and watching it pebble. They seemed to move between a need to devour each other and one to take all the time in the world. His touch was idle and intense in the same moment.

She watching his face as he touched her. There was something very sweet and sexy about the way he looked at her. As if he couldn't believe he was allowed to touch. As if she was something precious and rare, that might disappear any moment. He glanced up, caught her watching, and she could only smile at him. He he grinned, and it made him look young. "You are gorgeous," he told her.

Her cheeks heated, but she did her best to believe him. "So are you." 

His hand tightened on her breast when he kissed her, and she felt it shoot through her. He sucked on her lower lip as he pulled away, sitting up, sliding his hand down her abdomen and beneath the drawstring of her pajama pant. Her breathing picked up, hitching when she felt his fingertips graze her hair. The kiss deepened and she moaned, hips lifting. He made a sound of approval, bending one finger to drag it over her clit. It was such a gentle touch it was torture, but he kept doing it and doing it, carefully lighting up every single nerve ending.

They had stopped paying attention to the kiss, both focused on what he was doing to her. Amanda was surprised at the little whimper that came out of her as she bucked her hips up to him. "Please."

He dipped his head a moment to kiss the tip of one breast, and then moved his hand so he could pull her pajama pants off. He was back before she could make a noise of protest, and this time he cupped her with his whole hand. It wasn't cautious or slow and he had his fingers inside her, curling up, thumb pressing against her clit.

"Oh, fuck," she gasped, head tipping back on the pillow. He stroked her, a sure and steady pace, gathering the pleasure up inside her. She reached out and found his arm, gripping hard as the climax bubbled up inside her. She clenched around his fingers, grinding down on his hand as she shook through it.

She had no idea how much tension she was really holding until it finally unwound, relief washing through her on the wave of pleasure. When she opened her eyes again, feeling drowsy and dizzy and languid, she still had a death grip on his arm. His fingers were splayed over her, but not touching anything too sensitive.

Panting like she'd just run a race, she tugged his arm. "C'mere."

"I'm not going anywhere," he replied, sounding amused.

Huffing out a little exasperated breath, she tugged again. "Get inside me."

Now it was a full chuckle, but he rolled her beneath him. "Yes, ma'am." She could feel he still had pants on, and their hands got in each other's way trying to get them open and off. But when they did, she was so wet he slid right in.

"Yes," she mumbled, winding her fingers through his hair. It was the only thing she could think to say. He filled her, stretched her, buried himself deep. And it all felt _so good_. He moved, hips rocking and she couldn't stop a little moan as sensation rippled through her. 

He kissed her again, but it was lazy and haphazard, both of them too caught up in the way their bodies moved together. Their lips brushed as they gasped for air. In between breaths he whispered things to her; dark, hot, graphic encouragements. 

It all blended together, every sense and sensation, until she couldn't think about anything but him, and her body, and the pleasure he was giving her. She whispered his name over and over, prayer and plea, and somehow he gave her exactly what she needed, when she needed it. Harder, faster, deeper.

She could feel herself getting close and wrapped herself around him, nails raking down his back as the first waves of her orgasm pulsed through her, arching her back and making her cry out.

It was slower than the first but seemed just keep going, pleasure pushing through her every time he moved. He mumbled something in a language she didn't know—Russian, maybe—and she felt him shudder, holding her leg and lifting her nearly off the bed to get as deep as he possibly could.

His climax seemed to last as long as hers, she even imagined she felt the heat of him spread through her. Eventually, he lowered her leg and sank down onto her. She stroked her fingers through his hair and basked in the echoes of pleasure, the latent arousal, and the almost pleasant ache growing in some very unused muscles.

"Mmm," he said finally. "Didn't even need the other arm."

She laughed a little. "No you did not." She pressed a kiss to his forehead. "You managed to shut my brain off for a while there."

He shifted off her, propping himself up on his elbow. "I feel like that's a feat."

"Oh, it definitely is." She trailed a hand across his chest, looking her fill. He really was perfectly put together.

"So listen," he said after a moment. "I have to go put the goats up for the night. And retrieve your dog. But I'd like to. . . I'd like to come back."

"I'd like that, too," she said softly.

He cupped her face in his hands, kissing her tenderly, and then climbed up. He really did have a great ass, too.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"I. . . should I apologize?" She looked like she was about to get out calipers or something. But he also found Science Face pretty hot. He'd had no idea how much that would do it for him._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is mostly smut and fluff. . .

In Wakanda he hadn't really needed much by way of a barn, but on account of the coyotes and who knew what else prowled in the mountains around the compound, he kept them inside for the night, in an enclosure he'd built at the back of his house. Echo was already herding them down the hill as he approached. He honestly really did love that dog.

After that he went into the house, to change his clothes and his arm. He thought about taking it off entirely—he wasn't crazy about sleeping in it—but honestly, he wanted to try out one particular feature. 

Echo was on Amanda's porch when he went back and trotted in when he opened the door. Amanda was in the kitchen, in a robe, hair up in a messy top knot, fixing the tea that had been forgotten earlier. Echo beelined for her and she paused to lean over and pet her, baby talking to her as she refilled her bowl.

"He took very good care of our goats." 

"She's a very good girl." She gave Echo the command to eat, then brought over two cups of tea, handing him one. "I'm glad she has the goats. She'd be bored otherwise."

"You'd have had to find her something to do." He took the mug with his prosthetic hand. "I can feel the temperature of the mug," he said, delighted.

She smiled widely. She was clearly proud of his arm - with good reason. "Good."

He sipped his tea, then asked, "You feel better?"

"I do. Thank you." They settled on the couch and she sat close to him, legs tucked up to the side. "How about you?"

"Right now I think I could smile at the devil."

With a soft, satisfied sigh, she scooted closer and settled her head on his shoulder.

Eventually, he said, "You know I used to be a sniper."

"Back when you were Sergeant Barnes?"

He kind of loved that she understood that was an entirely different version of him. "Yeah. I used to sit up in the trees and watch the Commandos fight and try and pick people off. I suppose I thought manning the jet would feel similar. Not so much."

"I imagine the Commandos never got covered in an impenetrable fire while you watched."

"No. They did sometimes start fires, but I knew where everyone was."

She slid her hand over and curled it around his. "It was scary. In there. I think Wanda came really close to losing control of the bubble she built. And then, when we got out. . . it smelled just like Wakanda, after you all turned to ash."

He looked down, surprised. It hadn't occurred to him the dusting had a smell. "Like we'd burned?"

She nodded. "It smelled like ash, even though there hadn't been any fire. And. . . for a long time afterwards it would blow in the wind, making the air quality bad and changing the lighting."

"And it was blowing around after the fire, too?"

"Yeah," she said on a sigh, shifting to put he tea mug down. "There was a couple seconds there I thought I was going to vomit. Couldn't move, couldn't breathe."

He put his mug down, too. "Panic attack?"

"Little one." She held her finger and thumb apart an inch. "I'm okay when I'm working. I can turn a lot of stuff off when I have a patient to focus on. But right then it was just me."

"I was an assassin, and a soldier before that. We have discussed how I really, really am not squeamish. But when you were amputating Stark's arm I thought I might pass out. And I wasn't even watching."

"Tony likes to make a differentiation between 'Amanda' and 'Doc.' Doc can cut her best friend's arm off and joke while doing it. Apparently, Amanda has a panic attack at the smell of ashes."

"It's like 'Steve' and 'Cap'." He paused. "I have a type." 

She laughed a little. "I feel like I should ask a possibly embarrassing question about the true nature of your relationship."

He chuckled. "You are nowhere near the first person to ask me that. Not all love is about sex—which I know you know if your best friend is a married man—but I absolutely get why people wonder." 

"You two have a certain chemistry. I wouldn't have cared, but seemed relevant to ask."

"Concerned he'll want to come fight you for me?"

"Not really." She lifted a hand and played with the ends of his hair. "I fight dirty."

He leaned a little closer. "I find that sexy as hell."

"Mmm. Good. Wanna hear about my encyclopedic knowledge of poisons?"

"I have a better idea," he said, pulling her in to kiss. She sighed, melting into him, arms going around his shoulders. Her fingers kept toying with his hair, something he noticed she did a lot. Clearly she was a fan. If they were going to be something—and he hoped they would—he was going to need to grow it back out. He hauled her into his lap, shifting her so she could straddle him. There was nothing on under that robe, and it parted easily. He stroked his hands over thighs and up her sides. She made a sound that was something like a purr, wiggling on his lap.

He loved the little sounds she made when he touched her. She was so closed off and contained most of the time. The noises and reactions meant she was comfortable enough with him to be herself.

When they broke the kiss for air, they only moved the tiniest bit apart. But it was enough for him to whisper, "Wanna try it?"

Her brow furrowed. "Try. . . what?"

He held up his hand and tapped his fingers together until the vibrations started. It was surprisingly quiet, but he could feel it up his arm.

She blew out a breath, but he could see her eyes light up. She leaned in to kiss him again. "Start slow," she murmured.

It took him a moment to figure out the sequence to turn it down. Then he slid his hand between her legs, not touching anything in particular, just letting her feel it through his palm. Her lids fluttered and he felt her fingers dig into his shoulders. "God," she whispered.

"That is literally just the preview," he told her.

"Hence, start slow." She kissed him, messy and intense, rocking a little on his hand.

He pressed a little closer. "More?"

She nodded. "Please."

So he turned it up, and stroked a finger right along the seam of her, and felt her shudder. When he touched her clit, he got an actual sound. He repeated the touch, putting a finger on either side of her clit and pressing. She made a sound that was almost a sob, thighs tightening on his. She was shuddering, gripping him painfully tight. He moved his fingers slowly, letting the vibrations do most of the work.

It lasted a couple minutes, her grinding on his hand, him pressing where she needed him to. She made all manner of sexy noises, growing more and more desperate. Watching her climax build up might have been the sexy thing he'd ever seen.

Her cries became a wail and her head tipped back. Her shuddered grew rougher and he could feel her sex pulsing against his hand.

"That's it, that's it," he murmured, not sure he'd ever made a woman come like this.

It seemed to draw out a good long while, until finally she sagged against him, pushing his hand away. He stopped the vibrations, feeling very proud that he'd clearly broken her. She had her face buried in his neck and was making little whimpering noises. He hoped he hadn't completely broken her, as he was painfully aroused.

The whimpers had turned to panting breaths when she reached down and tugged the waistband of his sweats down, freeing his erection. Lifting her head, she kissed him, shifting to notch him at the entrance of her body, then slowly sliding down his length. She was slick and wet as she closed around him. He could feel her muscles still twitching in pleasure. He gripped her hips, hoping it wasn't too hard, but he desperately needed her to move.

She rocked on him and the feel of her sliding felt blindingly good. She tugged his lower lip with her teeth. "You can help," she whispered. "Show me what you need."

"I don't. . .I don't want to hurt you." It was hard to concentrate on forming words. He tugged her hips anyway, trying to get her to move faster.

"It's okay. It's okay." She kissed him hard, cupping the back of his head. She was still moving on him, but didn't seem able to find a rhythm she could keep up. He tugged again, moving her and she made a sound of approval, letting him pull her. He lifted up to meet her, it was almost involuntary. And he was not going to last very long. She let him control her, let him take what he needed. Before he couldn't think straight enough to do it, he turned the vibe back on and pressed his knuckle against her clit.

She gave another wordless cry, nails raking his shoulder. "James. _James_." She drove herself down, losing what little rhythm she had. Then she was pulsing around him, shaking as she came. He tipped his head back, holding on, letting go, feeling her body tightening and pulling at him as he came with her. 

He slumped back against the couch and she went with him, boneless on his lap. She was breathing hard, head on his shoulder. He could feel every inch of her pressed against him, no space between them.

"My God," he mumbled, having no idea what he could possibly say.

"Mmmhmm," she agreed. "I'm sending Stark a gift basket."

Bucky laughed, rubbing her back. "I'm on board with that."

They sat on the couch until he could muster the energy to move, and then he stood with her inn his arms and carried her back to the bedroom. She stretched out when he set her down, the half tied robe looking a bit like a present he could unwrap. He opened it entirely, so she was naked under his gaze, and he wanted her all over again. 

Then she pushed up on her elbows, and made what he could only describe as Science Face. "How is your refractory period that short? Even teenagers need five minutes before another erection."

He choked on a laugh. "What?"

"A man your age should not be hard again this fast." She cocked her head. "That has to be a serum side effect."

"I. . . should I apologize?" She looked like she was about to get out calipers or something. But he also found Science Face pretty hot. He'd had no idea how much that would do it for him.

"No," she said thoughtfully. She sat up properly and curled a hand around his erection, stroking lightly. "But we should probably spend the night testing how many rounds you can go. For science."

He groaned. "That sounds like the best idea I've ever heard."

"I'm a genius, you know," she told him solemnly, before leaning forward and taking him in her mouth.

"Fuck," he growled, sinking his fingers into her hair.

They didn't quite find his limit. She was, after all, not enhanced and had had a long day. He was more than happy to pass out when she did. They slept naked and tangled together in the middle of her bed.

In the morning when he woke, she was spooned up against him, head resting on his right arm. He kissed her shoulder, and when she wiggled against him he took it as an invitation to let his hand go wandering. Being able to feel the texture and contours of her so well with the prosthetic was absolutely fascinating. He found last night that if he curved his fingers against her g-spot, pressed the heel of his hand against her clit and turn the vibe all the way up, he could just about completely break her.

Trying it now. . . it got him an outright scream, and then she turned her face and bit his arm so hard she left a full set of teeth marks on his skin. The dog started barking, and a minute or two later, someone was knocking on her door.

He could feel her shaking with laughter, and he said, "FRIDAY, tell them to go away."

"I should make you go explain," Amanda teased, kissing the bite mark.

"Depends who it is. Sam would congratulate me." 

"Mmm, you do deserve congratulations."

He kissed her shoulder. "I'm going to go take a shower." Possibly a cold one, lest they end up spending the entire day in this bed.

"I'll put together some breakfast."

They had the day off, but the team had a standing—voluntary—run on the beach on Thursdays. Amanda was in no mood to go, but Bucky decided to. She told him very firmly to take the dog.

"I'll take a hot bath and start dinner," she promised, kissing him goodbye.

He went to his place to put on workout gear, then jogged down to the meeting point, Echo at his heels. It was just Scott and Sam, which sounded about right. Vision didn't run, Wanda had to be exhausted, and Hope had decided not to come when she heard the other women were skipping.

"Said she didn't want to 'marinate in testosterone'," Scott told them.

"Seems fair," Bucky said. Echo greeted them both enthusiastically. She loved everybody on the team, though she seemed vaguely confused as to what, exactly, Vision was.

"Is Doc okay?" Scott asked, rubbing the dog's sides. "Heard some weird noises from her place this morning."

Before he paused to think about it, Bucky asked, "Were you the one banging on the door?"

"Yeah, FRIDAY told me not to worry but I just-" He stopped and looked up at Bucky. "How did you know?"

Sam was trying desperately to hold in laughter. "Jesus, Lang."

In for a penny and all. . . "I was the cause."

He looked hilariously flummoxed for a moment, then his eyes widened. "Ohhhhh. I guess that saves me from asking where you got that bite mark." 

Bucky looked down at his arm, not realizing it was still visible. "Uh. Yeah."

"Do we need to send Hope a sympathy card?" Sam asked.

"Oh, shut up," Scott replied. "It's just. . . Doc. She's not a person who I would ever expect to, you know. . .do that."

Bucky bristled a little. "What the hell does that mean?"

Clearly sensing he was on thin ice, he fumbled for words a moment before settling on. "She's very contained."

"Maybe Barnes is just that good in bed," Sam said.

"Hey, thanks man." And that was why Sam was Cap. He could defuse anything.

"Well. I'm happy for you both," Scott said, probably happy to have an out. "She's a nice lady."

"Yes, yes she is," Bucky replied.

"That bite mark though. . ." Sam commented.

"How about we run, huh?"

"That sounds like a great idea," Scott said just a little too loudly.

*

The following afternoon, on the group text they'd used to organize their shopping trip, Pepper sent a message. _Want to meet up for lunch? I'm dying to hear how Amanda's date went._

Wanda replied before Amanda could. _Oh, we all sure heard something._

Amanda was in the middle of knitting James a pair of socks and had to finish her row before answering. _Well, good, if I don't feel like kiss and telling, Wanda can do it for me._

_You could hear it at my place, too,_ Lani said. _Windows open. Well done, by the way._

_Scott thought she was being murdered or something._ That was Hope. Apparently everyone was going to be in on this conversation. _Sorry about that, by the way. I think he's traumatized by the idea of Doc having a sex life. Like seeing your teacher at the grocery store._

She rolled her eyes and tried not to feel too smug. _I'm growing deeply concerned about the assumptions that have been made about me._

_Come for lunch and set us straight,_ Pepper replied. 

_Fine. I guess._

_How about we order something and you come her?_ Lani asked. Because privacy for sensitive topics was something that occurred to her.

Hope replied, _Pepper, get takeout and you all come here. I have the biggest table._

_Deal, I'll be there in 45 minutes._

That gave Amanda enough time to take a quick shower and change clothes before hiking up the drive to Hope's place. She'd set the table with fancy, delicate china, and lifted a shoulder when Amanda gave it an amused look. "It needs use," was all she said.

Most of the time, everyone entirely forgot Hope had been raised with the same kind of money Tony had.

"It's pretty," she offered. "Your parents?"

"Grandparents. Though my mother did foist them off on me. She's got 3 sets."

Amanda snorted. She'd met Hope's mother once, and she also, didn't seem the type of woman to have three sets of china. "My sister got my parent's china. I move too much."

Pepper brought Chinese, which was fun to eat on fancy plates. Hope produced a set of fancy chopsticks. "I am a fifth generation San Franciscan," she said by way of explanation.

"I didn't know such things existed," Lani admitted, twirling her chopsticks expertly.

"The Van Dynes came for the gold rush." She stole a potsticker. "My mother tells people they hit gold, but it isn't true. They were laborers until my great-grandfather used the chaos after the earthquake to steal a bunch of buildings."

"Ah, the American dream."

Everyone filled their plates, and then Hope said, "Scott told me Barnes has a visible bite mark on his arm."

Amanda had been in the middle of sipping her tea and choked a little at that. "I really thought that had healed by the time he left."

"You _bit_ him?" Wanda asked.

"I. . . yes. He woke me up rather . . . forcefully."

"And this is a good thing?"

She sighed, acknowledging there was no way to not admit this. "He has a vibrator in his arm. And he used it to wake me up. Among other things."

"Oh, my God," Hope said. "I thought you were all joking about that."

"Tony doesn't joke about engineering projects" Pepper said. "He came up with the idea of putting a vibe in the arm while he was still in the hospital."

Amanda looked over at her. "When he gets his make sure he starts out slow. It gets intense real quick."

She laughed a little. "Oh, he's been making me those things for years. They're currently the only way a one-armed man keeps up with second trimester hormones."

Everyone's head swiveled to look at her. Amanda didn't know if she'd done that on purpose to take attention off Amanda for a while, but she was grateful none the less. "I may encourage him to start an actual sex toy wing."

"It's certainly something that would bring more joy to the world."

"Wouldn't it?" She ate some of her lo mein, hoping that was the end of it.

"On a different topic," Lani said, because she was Lani. "Has everyone heard Peter Parker is coming out at the end of the month?"

"I have," Pepper said. "Tony's excited."

"He's emailed me four times," Amanda added. "Asking for tips on surviving Stanford. I haven't had the heart to point out my advice is twenty years out of date."

"That's adorable."

"He's a sweet kid," she agreed. "It'll be nice having him around. And his girlfriend."

"I chose a university for a boyfriend," Hope said. "And regretted it."

"I'm not sure many people regret Stanford," Lani said. "But in any case, he said she was going to Cal. Which seems healthy. A little distance if it's needed."

Pepper sighed. "He's going to swing across the Bay Bridge and I'm going to get phone calls. Like I do every time he does it on the Queensboro."

"Eh, this is San Francisco," Hope said. "That'll be the third weirdest thing anyone sees that day."

"I'm excited about not being the youngest person here," Wanda said.

"Try to keep the hazing to a minimum," Pepper requested.

"Talk to the men," Hope said. "That's a dude thing."

"I trust Tony to keep them in line."

Amanda got no more interrogation about her date, which she was grateful for—even if that had been the ostensible purpose of this lunch. Her friends were good people and seemed to have a sense of where her boundaries were.

The lunch was really nice, covering all manner of topics. The sun was low in the sky when they finally headed out to their own houses.

"I'm glad you're happy," Wanda told her as they walked. "Even if I'm getting some way-too-graphic thoughts."

Her cheeks warmed but she said, "I'll try to keep it in line."

"It's okay. Some nights it's coming from everybody."

"Wow, we're an active bunch." She paused and looked over at her. "Lani-?"

Wanda had no poker face whatsoever, so she just looked straight ahead and said, "I can't comment on that."

Which meant yes and probably often and possibly with someone they knew. "Well now. She certainly plays things close to the chest."

"Neither of them knows I know, and I'd like to keep it that way."

"I won't say a word."

"And don't worry about what you blast me with. As long as it's good, I'm good."

Amanda smiled. "I will try to keep it good as long as I can."

Wanda went back to her house, and Amanda looked up in the hills for the goats, finding James and Echo up there nearby. He must have noticed, because he waved. She waved back, hiking up the hill to meet them.

Echo bounded over, tail wagging and received pets before going back to inspect the herd.

"Hi," he said when he reached her. He hesitated, then asked, "Can I kiss you?"

She laughed a little. "Of course."

With a grin, he cupped her face in his hands and pulled her close to do just that. She held his waist lightly, kissing him back. They kept it appropriate for public viewing. But there was still plenty of heat in it.

"Why did you think you couldn't?" she asked when they parted.

"I don't know. . . maybe you wanted to try and keep this quiet."

"Trust me, between the noise and the bite mark, it's out and loud."

He chuckled. "Right. Well, I tried."

"It's all right. Apparently we're far from the only ones."

He put his arm around her as they went down the hill. "I didn't think the bite would still be visible, or I'd have covered it."

"I know. I must have really taken a chunk out of you if it didn't heal immediately."

"They guys were impressed."

She grinned, showing him her teeth. "I think the girls were, too."

"What do you say we order in dinner and see what other trouble we can get up to?"

"My ideal date."


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Doc's a pretty good judge of character. Doesn't suffer fools, very specific sense of honor. She likes you, and that counts for something. Not saying we're ever going to be best buds. But you're on the team and you could have gone back to Wakanda. So I'm willing to try and get along."_

Bucky had never lived in California before this, and there were aspects of the weather he found fascinating. One minute it was warm and sunny, like August was expected to be. Then the fog rolled in off the ocean and it was like living inside a cloud—which was not nearly as romantic as it sounded. You could barely see a few feet in front of your face.

Everybody came out the day their newest member was flying in from New York, and at the moment they were all standing around in said fog while Tony hovered the jet up at altitude, arguing with SFO ATC that he could too land even though he couldn't see.

Sam was patched in to the comm and listening. "He's looping around and coming in at low altitude over the ocean," he told them. "Says if he is close enough to the water he counts as a boat."

Rhodey sighed like he was a hundred hears old. He was the one who dealt with all their government interactions. "I'm going to hear about that."

Amanda tugged her sweater closer around herself, bouncing on her toes. "Peter could have swung here on his webs by now."

"I'm not repeating that," Sam said. "Don't give them ideas."

"Bet you ten bucks he's already suggested it."

"Tony or Peter?"

"Yes."

Sam chuckled. Pretty soon you could hear the engines, but you couldn't see anything until it got very close, starting only as lights glowing in the fog, and slowly becoming a jet.

Tony did a little wing wiggle when he got close - because of course he did - then set it down on the landing pad. Once the engine spun down, they headed over to greet them.

The back ramp lowered and Peter walked down, holding hands with his girlfriend, MJ. Most of them hadn't met her before, but apparently Amanda had heard a ton about her from Peter and Tony. She looked a little nervous, given the crowd, but hung onto his hand and gamely marched forward with him.

Amanda looked rather touched that she was the first person Peter brought her to. She couldn't possibly be the friendliest face, but he was very fond of her, clearly. He was also the kind of kid who hugged everyone, and for some reason she let him. Peter reminded Bucky of Steve when he was that young, sometimes. "Hi, Doc. This is MJ."

"Nice to meet you, MJ," she said, shaking her hand. "Peter talks about you all the time."

She smiled. "He'd better," she replied. "I'm awesome."

Bucky could see why Peter thought they'd get along. "He says you're smarter than him, too."  
"Damn straight."

He made the rest of the introductions, and then everyone went to the big communal space in the main building that they called the Rec Room. It had a pool table and a bunch of couches and a kitchen. Like the party room in an apartment complex. It also had a couple of very old arcade games that Peter and MJ seemed to find the coolest thing they'd ever seen. It was nice to know Space Invaders was still entertaining. Tony said it made him feel old.

"I think you're just retro," Amanda told him.

"I suppose I don't need to be old until I turn 50 again." He shook his head. "Time travel is a trip."

She looked over at Bucky. He'd mostly stayed quiet, sitting next to her. He still wasn't much for social situations, but it was kind of nice to now have someone to glue himself to. "Was it like that for you? Getting used to a new time. Or is your memory so scattered it doesn't register?"

"The scattered memory only made it worse," he replied. "I was never sure what to expect about anything. And my, I guess, social muscle memory, was from the 1940's. The Winter Soldier didn't go to the grocery store."

He saw something flicker over her face that was probably a question not fit for present company. She seemed to think better of it and leaned in to kiss his cheek. "You do just fine, now."

He put an arm around her. "Thank you."

"You two are adorable," Tony said. "It's terrifying."

"The supervillian and her henchman?" Bucky asked.

Amanda rubbed his thigh. "My plan is almost complete.

"I always suspected," Tony said, but he was smirking.

"This room needs a pinball machine," Bucky said. "If you'd really like to feel old."

He snapped his fingers. "You're right. FRIDAY, find me a pinball. Something old that Barnes here will enjoy."

"There is a store that sells them in San Francisco," the AI replied, because of course there was.

"You up for a shopping trip, Barnes?"

Bucky honestly didn't know how to respond, he was so surprised. Unless this was an outing for Stark to toss him off a cliff. Amanda would probably never let him hear the end of it.

Peter had materialized, saving him from having to formulate a reply. "Did I hear you talking about getting a pinball machine?"

Tony tipped his head back to look at him. "It's been pointed out the Rec Room is missing one."

"That sounds totally awesome."

"There's a place in the city that sells them. Want to come check it out?"

"Uh, yeah. Are you kidding?"

Tony nodded. "Barnes, yes or no?"

"Okay," he said faintly, giving Amanda a look.

"You'll be fine," she whispered, rubbing his arm.

Tony had turned and was yelling at Scott and Sam to see if they wanted to tag along. How this had become a man-only thing, he didn't know.

"And you're sure he isn't secretly plotting my demise?"

"He wouldn't bring that many witnesses."

"Fair point." And the rest of them, they were his team.

"Besides, he's scared of me." She leaned in and kissed him. "Go pick out a pinball machine. It might be fun."

It would probably make her happy for the two of them to get along. And she was right. It might be fun.

They headed out later in the week, after Tony had a chance to warn the shop they were coming. Apparently, it was a very high end antique store and offered to shut down for the morning so they could have it to themselves. That was the sort of thing Tony clearly enjoyed, so he'd agreed and they all headed up highway 1 in one of his limos.

There was a lot of weird stuff in the shop, in addition to a bunch of vintage pinball machines and other old gaming equipment. On the wall, for example, was a WWII era Captain America poster. He took a picture and texted it to Steve.

_Where are you? Also, never tell Sharon about that._

_Some shop in San Francisco._ Bucky turned and looked for the owner. "Hey, how much is the Cap poster?"

"That one's six hundred," she replied. "I have a bigger one from the USO tour that's fifteen hundred."

"We'll take them both!" Tony called from somewhere behind them. "Put it on the tab. Ship them over to Bob Ross 2.0."

The owner blinked at Bucky and he shrugged. "We're fans."

"Barnes come over here," Tony called. "I'm buying Doc a gift."

Bucky walked over. "So that's why you invited me."

"Nah, it's just a bonus." He pointed to a leather bag, surrounded by various medical tools. "1857 amputation kit," Tony said with a grin.

He stared at it, and then laughed so loud other people in the shop turned to look. "That is amazing."

"There's a whole section of medical stuff if you wanna browse."

"Thanks. Though honestly my relationship with crude medical tools isn't that great." 

"Yeah, I can see that." He packed the amputation kit up. "You going to give me a funny look every time you see me, Barnes?"

Bucky blinked. "Uh. Given the circumstances of our previous encounter. . . probably."

"Ah." He looked back at the kit. "I did a lot of therapy with Lani during the missing five years. Some of it was with Steve. Figuring out how to work together civilly. You, unsurprisingly came up a lot." He closed the bag with a snap. "When I was in the cave, I was pretty determined not to do anything they wanted me to do. About a day of various tortures made me rethink that. Not saying I entirely know what you went through, but. . ." He looked back at Bucky. "A Hydra weapon killed my parents. He looked a lot like you. But he wasn't you. When I think of it that way. . . It sits a bit easier, you know?"

There was a lump in Bucky's throat he had to swallow. "The Winter Soldier did," he said quietly. "I'm not the Winter Soldier. He was. . . programmed into me. Wanda told me once it looks like information written in different handwriting."

Tony nodded. "Doc's a pretty good judge of character. Doesn't suffer fools, very specific sense of honor. She likes you, and that counts for something. Not saying we're ever going to be best buds. But you're on the team and you could have gone back to Wakanda. So I'm willing to try and get along."

Bucky felt himself smile. "Thanks for the arm."

"You're welcome. Glad you're enjoying it."

He cleared his throat. "We both are. Bonus feature, much appreciated."

Tony stared. "Oh, God. That's why she gave me socks for no discernible holiday."

Bucky laughed. "Now I feel like I should apologize."

"I think the less we talk about this the better. She's like my sister."

"Hey Mr. Stark!" Peter called from the other end of the store. "They have and old skee ball game."

"Ah, that's my cue." He patted Bucky's arm. "Find your girl something nice, put it on my tab."

*

Amanda was mostly confident that Tony didn't have it out for James. Still, it wasn't beneath him to attempt some sort of "break her heart I break your face" sort of conversation and that would just be embarrassing for everyone involved. So she breathed a little easier when FRIDAY informed her the limo had returned, with all passengers accounted for.

"Mr. Stark's discretionary funds checking account has taken a bit of a hit," the AI added.

"That sounds like a Pepper problem, not a me problem."

"Mr. Barnes is about to knock on your door."

"Tell him to come in," she said. She was in the middle of turning a heel and didn't want to put it down.

A moment later the door swung open and James walked in.

"How was antiquing?" she asked.

"Well, the Rec Room is now tricked out like a Coney Island arcade."

She smiled and tipped her head back to look at him. "Did Tony behave?"

"Yeah, we actually had a nice conversation." He leaned down to kiss her. 

She sighed, lifting a hand to touch his jaw, enjoying the scrape of it on her fingertips. "I'm glad," she murmured.

"You almost done with that sock?" he asked.

Setting it aside, she reached up with her other hand. "What sock?"

He leaned over the couch, scooping her up in his arms and carrying her back to the bedroom. She had never, in her life, felt dainty or feminine. No one had carried her around since she was a little girl getting piggy back rides from her dad. It had not ever been something she thought she wanted. But she thought she could probably get used to it.

He peeled her out of her clothes deftly, and when he slid his fingers into her and turned the vibrations on, she decided that his arm was the single greatest thing she had ever worked on in her entire life.

He really seemed to enjoy taking her apart, in a way previous lovers had not spent nearly as much time on. She shuddered and moaned through two orgasms and was still shaking when he finally slipped inside her. She was spent and shattered and encouraged him to take his pleasure. Afterwards all they could do was lay and breathe in sync.

"So," she said, when she could finally speak again. "Antiquing really does it for you, huh?"

"It was the knitting, actually," he said, turning to stroke her hair.

"Ah, that makes sense. Nimble fingers, pointy objects."

He bent to kiss her shoulder. "You're gorgeous and you're mine."

"I am definitely yours," she said, playing with his hair.

"Can I ask you something?"

"I'm going to need a couple minutes before we go again."

"No, no." He lifted a hand and traced his finger down the scar on her face. "Where did this come from?"

It was probably only a matter of time before that came up. It was sort of hard to miss. And he'd lasted a lot longer than most people. "Do you know what MSF is?"

"I've heard Doctors Without Borders--that's the same, isn't it?"

She nodded. "That's the English translation. MSF is the official title. I'm never quite sure which one to use. Anyway, I worked with them for a few years after I finished my residency and internship. Emergency medical training and surgery are high priority skills. I worked in the Caribbean for a year, doing post-hurricane relief, then went to Africa."

She blew out a breath, and he pulled her a little closer. It had been a very long time since she'd told the whole story. But given everything she knew about him, he deserved the long version. "I was working in a small village that had been hit hard by a drought and was in a contested zone between two militant factions. I was only supposed to be there a couple weeks, giving vaccinations, helping out with any pregnancies or emergencies. While I was there, one of the factions sent in a group to steal some supplies and 'recruit' boys into the cause.

"Most of the time, medical professionals get left alone, even by fringe groups. You never know when you're the one who was going to be the one who needed help. And our job is not to take sides. You have someone in front of you that needs help, you help them. So when they came in, I sat in the tent I had set up, kept my head down and figured if there was a fight or anything, I'd patch people up.

"One of the group came in, I think planning to steal medical supplies - which I would have handed over - but when he was the doctor was a woman, his plans changed."

She could hear the shaky breath James let out. Like he knew what was coming. Given his history, he probably did.

"He had a knife. I suppose if he'd had a gun I'd be dead. Told me if I was quiet, I might enjoy myself. And for a minute or so, I considered it. He was bigger than me, armed, and no was going to come help me. Then he started taking my slacks off and, well, I decide I wasn't making it easy. I scratched him, gave him an elbow in the throat. He slashed my face and punched me, knocking me into some equipment. We tussled some more, ended up on the ground."

She paused, swallowing in an attempt to combat her suddenly dry mouth. "There was a scalpel, in the equipment we hit. I stabbed his left kidney and when he reared back I cut his carotid artery." She tapped her throat. "He was dead in a few minutes."

"I'm amazed he lasted that long," James said quietly. "And I am in awe of you."

He sounded utterly sincere, and she managed a thin smile, tucking herself closer again. "The wound on my face got infected, it spread to my eye. I spent a few weeks in the hospital, then went back to the States and spent another couple months recuperating at my dad's house."

"I can only imagine what you looked like when they found you," he said. "I slashed a throat from the front once and blood coated me head to toe. I think I had it in my ears."

"I'm fairly certain that's at least part of why I got an infection. Getting a bunch of someone else's blood in an open wound is generally not a great idea. Not getting into what might have been on the knife. I was lucky I kept any sight in my eye."

"Are your glasses only for the one side?"

"Yeah. There's a little correction on the other one, but nothing like the right one." Her vision was actually better with just her right eye, but a doctor needed depth perception. "I wore an eye patch on the good eye for a while to strengthen the injured one. My dad has pictures, I'm sure you could talk him into showing you."

"Can't say I've ever had a pirate fetish."

She chuckled. "It's more Bond villain than pirate, but fair enough."

He bent to kiss her neck. "You have my attention."

Humming a little in pleasure, she murmured, "Can I ask you a hopefully less fraught question?"

James lifted his head. "You can even ask me a fraught question."

" _How_ did you get so good at this?"

He laughed. "What?"

"You said the other day that your social skills were from the 40s. I'm curious if your bedroom skills are the same or if Hydra is somehow grosser than I even thought."

He looks very amused. "Sex wasn't invented in the '60's, you know."

"The birth control pill was."

He shifted, pushing up on his elbow and reaching to cup her breast with artificial hand. "Not all sex requires contraceptives."

"Ah." She wound her fingers through his hair, shivering as he circled her nipple, making it peak. "I bet you were the ladies man."

"Apparently I was considered charming." He sounded like he didn't believe that, though he probably did at the time.

She stroked his hair. "Well, whoever you were. I like you now just as you are."

"I like you as you are, too," he said. "Scar and all."

She smiled and kissed him. "Good."

"Has it been a couple minutes, yet?" he murmured against her mouth.

Oh he was gonna be the death of her. "Yeah. It definitely has."


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Bucky didn't really like fighting, per se. It reminded him of being the Winter Soldier. But he had these skills, taught to him first by war and then by evil, and putting them to use for a just cause felt like paying balance back to the world._

Training intensified when a team had a new member, so they spent a lot of time figuring how to fit Peter into their team.

Since Vision wasn't much for hand-to-hand combat, Bucky was the only one who could really spar with Peter. Hence he spent the better part of the next weeks getting his ass kicked by a teenager.

"Sorry, Mr. Barnes," he said after the fiftieth take down. Bucky was starting to wonder if Amanda would be willing to give him a massage.

"You really don't need to call me Mr. Barnes," Bucky replied. "Though I am thinking about seeing if one of the Asgardians will come over and kick your ass."

Peter held a hand out to help him up. "I'm working on the name thing. And I wouldn't mind sparring with someone else."

"I'd give it a go, but I fear Doc." Bucky turned in surprise, and there was Steve standing in the doorway. "Sharon had a work thing in San Jose, I thought I'd tag along and come say hi."

Bucky grinned. "Yeah, you don't want to fight this guy. Again."

"He doesn't have any trucks to throw at me," Peter added, making Steve grin.

"Hey, FRIDAY, send Sam over here," Bucky said in the general direction of the ceiling.

Steve came into the gym, shaking Peter's hand and giving Bucky a hug. "Hey, thought I'd take you and Sam out to lunch if you were up for it."

"That sounds great."

Peter said his goodbyes and Bucky walked out of the gym with Steve to wait for Sam. "It's good to see you, man. I wish I'd known you were coming."

"It was very impromptu. And I might still be mad at you. That poster is in my living room now."

He grinned. "Tony bought it, I just suggested who he send it to." They had, in fact, sent it to Sharon, knowing she'd make good use of it. "There's another one in the team Rec Room."

Steve laughed and shook his head. "Jesus."

It was good to hear Steve laugh, he'd still been. . . adjusting to civilian life when they'd last spoken in person. "How's retirement treating you?"

"Good. I think I get more fanmail about the painting show than I did as Cap."

"I've watched it a few times." He wouldn't mention that most of those were in bed with Amanda. "You're very soothing."

Steve chuckled. "Thanks."

"Listen," Bucky said after a moment. "There's something I wanted to tell you."

Steve, bless him, was immediately on alert. "Of course, what is it?"

"Nothing bad. I, uh, I have a girlfriend."

He stopped walking to stare at him. "Really? That's great, Buck. Where did you meet her?"

Bucky coughed and cleared his throat. "Well, technically when we were in Wakanda to fight Thanos, I think." He could see Sam coming down the path towards them. "It's Doc."

Steve's brows went up and he put his hands on his hips, which meant he was trying to think of something to say but couldn't.

Bucky felt a flare of temper. "Why does everyone react like that?"

"I feel like if I answer that honestly, you're going to punch me."

He crossed his arms over his chest. "Apparently you'll deserve it."

Steve looked like he really wished Sam had gotten here first. "The way she presents herself to the world, sometimes it's hard to think of her as. . . a woman. So hearing you, or anyone, is dating her, takes a moment to process. You can punch me for that if you want, but I'm guessing she does it on purpose."

He huffed out a breath. "Yeah, she does."

"I'm glad you saw through it," Steve said sincerely. "Clearly she makes you happy."

"She really does." He looked up. "You guys have dinner plans? You and Sharon, I mean."

"Nope, she gets off around seven." He grinned. "You thinking about a double date?"

"And this one probably won't suck."

"I'll text Sharon, but I'm sure she'll be up for it."

Bucky thought it best to do the same. _Steve and Sharon are in town. You up for dinner?_

There was a pause, long enough he was concerned she was having a panic attack. _Sure. What time? Want me to get reservations somewhere?_

_Come over to my place,_ he replied. _I'll cook._ The pause was very long. _I'll order takeout._

_All right. I'll be by after work._

Sam reached them. "You guys look super serious, do I want to know?"

"I told him about Amanda."

"Ah." He looked over at Steve. "They're remarkably cute together. It's disturbing."

"You're both assholes," Bucky said with an eye roll. "Let's go to lunch."

"Good idea, I want to ask Steve for help. None of the trees I paint seem happy."

They had a fantastic time at lunch, and afterwards Steve volunteered to help him cook. Surely the two of them could make a competent meal. He still hadn't tried to see if the new arm let him make good sauce.

"That's very fancy," Steve said, gesturing to the arm. "You said it's better than the old ones?"

"It has sensations much more like a real hand. Though it is pretty fragile, complicated as it is. I can change what it looks like." He held it out and showed Steve the different modes.

He grinned. "That's amazing. When you have the skin on, you can't really tell it apart from the other one."

"I didn't think I'd like that," he said honestly. "But I kind of do. Occasionally it's nice to feel normal. Normal-er."

"Tell me about it. I don't have the same problem as you did. But just. . . being able to go out to lunch. Or go to the grocery store. It's been so surreal, but so nice."

"You don't get mobbed?" He was on TV now and all. Thought, admittedly, it was PBS.

"People are different now. More respectful? I think it's because I'm retired."

"You and Sharon, you guys happy?"

"We're doing great, yeah. I mean, it's new for both of us. She's never had a live-in boyfriend. And I'm, well, me. But we're sorting it out."

"Did Disney World win the vacation debate?"

"No, we got a beach house. Her mom vetoed Florida humidity." He gave a crooked smile. "Sharon knows how to play her family."

FRIDAY announced Sharon had arrived at the gate, and Amanda came over a few minutes later. He served dinner—the sauce came out great—and a bottle of wine. It was most profoundly and simply _normal_ thing he'd done in longer than he could remember. 

He'd been a little nervous how Amanda would feel about the whole thing, but once she got there, he remembered she'd dealt with Steve for five years, working on her research. They talked about her current progress, Tony's new arm designs, and some other projects. Sharon had some funny stories from the tech conference she'd worked security for.

After dinner, Amanda and Sharon took over clean up and he took Steve out back to watch Echo round up the goats.

"I think sometimes I'm finally getting a taste of the life we could have had after the war."

Steve nodded, sipping a cup of coffee. "I admit, I never pictured goats."

Bucky laughed. "There's a dog, too. That's probably more normal." He stood up and whistled, and a moment later Echo came bounding down the hill.

Steve laughed as she crashed into Bucky. She had some brambles in her fur that he picked out. "You need a bath, sweetheart." She barked and went to sniff Steve suspiciously.

"Her name is Echo," he told Steve. "She's Amanda's, but she herds my goats."

"She's gorgeous," Steve said, patting her once she'd decided he was acceptable. "I didn't realize you were at 'sharing dog' stage."

Funny how that didn't bother him at all. Though. . . "The dog kind of pre-dates the relationship."

Steve laughed. "Well, whatever order you're doing in in, it seemed to be working. I think the last time I saw you this happy was before Pearl Harbor."

He leaned back in his chair. "You know what, Steve? I agree." He looked over at him. "You, too."

"Civilian life agrees with me," he admitted. "Sam tried to tell me a long time ago, and I didn't listen."

"Sam is smarter than the both of us."

"Clearly." He leaned back, sipping his coffee. "We took the long way around, but we got there."

*

Amanda was spending her morning watching rats frolic around their habitat when FRIDAY informed her there was a meeting in twenty minutes. 

She sighed, making notes in her experiment journal."Is it an important meeting or is it a lecture on littering or something."

"I believe it's a mission briefing."

Dammit. "Thanks, FRIDAY." She finished her notes and tracked down her head assistant, Tiffani. "Sounds like I might be heading out on a mission. Can you and Pooja handle monitoring the active subjects? This is about the time the last batch started showing symptoms."

Tiff took the tablet. "We've got it. Have a good mission. Don't die."

"That is always the plan." She hung her lab coat on the hook by the door and went to meet with the rest of the team.

Ostensibly, mission briefings should be in the conference room, which had a long table and chairs and AV equipment. But somehow lately they always ended up in the rec room. People liked the couches.

James was already there when she arrived and lifted his arm for her to tuck under when she joined him. He smelled like he'd been out with the goats, but she probably smelled like disinfectant, so she leaned her head on his shoulder as they waited for the rest of them. He kissed the top of her head. "Hey, Doc."

"White Wolf," she murmured, making him snort. Most of the rest of them were called by their last names in the field. But she was, and probably always would be, Doc. 

Sam came in and surveyed the room. "FRIDAY, tell Parker he's late."

"He promises he's on his way. He was. . . indisposed when I called."

"Good for him," Hope said, to chuckles.

Amanda felt bad for him when he showed up, rushed and flustered, and people clapped.

"Enough, enough," Sam said. "We've all been 19. How about we get started?"

Peter plopped down next to Amanda, possibly because she hadn't clapped. James reached past her to pat him.

"What's mission, Sam?" Wanda asked.

"Everyone's least favorite, the kind that involves bullets. FRIDAY, pull the map up?" Immediately said map hovered in the air behind him. "We've been asked to come help with a criminal organization—a drug cartel—that's been wreaking some havoc. Local forces are overwhelmed."

"Civilian casualties?" Amanda asked. That was usually the deciding factor in which suit she brought.

Sam nodded to her. "Likely." Which meant hospital suit.

"I'm not going to sugarcoat it," Sam said. "This is going to be pretty ugly. But the UN does not consider it severe enough to let us call in extra help. So I need everyone on their game." In real emergencies, they called the Asgardians for help. Thor and Valkyrie had a standing offer to call whenever needed, for either one of them, or some of their fighters. Given Thanos it wasn't entirely unreasonable, but the commission that cleared their missions was wary about a group of superpowered aliens getting involved in local conflicts, so they tended to say no.

Despite what usually made the news, most of their missions were humanitarian or search and rescue. The numbers of armed combat situations that local law enforcement or military couldn't handle was pretty small. Still, they trained for everything, so when Sam gave them their departure time everyone got up without a fuss and went to get suited up.

The hospital suit lived in the armory with everyone else's stuff. Amanda grabbed a couple of things from her office, then headed down there to suit up.

There were locker rooms, one for each gender, though they were only separated by a partition so they could talk over it. Bantering and talking shit was an important part of mission prep.

It was just her and Hope on the ladies side today. Wanda didn't need any equipment, and kept her uniforms at home. Neither of them were much for spontaneous shit talk, but listening to the men gently razzing Peter was entertaining.

"What do you have on that by way of arms?" Hope asked as she put guns in her side holsters.

"Blasters on the wrists, some shoulder missies. And I can electrocute people with the defib."

Hope sighed. "I hate offense missions."

"Me too." She was capable of fighting, and she liked being in the field in case any of her people got hurt. But for missions like these, she really wished she could stay home and watch her rats.

"Parker was at the Thanos battle, wasn't he?"

Amanda nodded. "And he went up to space with Tony, helped him there."

"He was at the Berlin fight," Scott called over the divider. "Wrapped that damn web around my legs."

"Sorry, Mr. Lang." That was Peter.

"Kid, I really want to know who taught you these impenetrable old-timey manners."

"Aunt May."

"That woman is amazing," Amanda said. "Think she'll join the team?"

"I think she's enjoying her empty nest," he admitted. Amanda was pretty sure May missed him like a limb, but she wasn't going to abuse him of the notion.

"I'm going to go prep the jet," Sam said. "I want everyone on in ten minutes."

There was a chorus of agreement and she heard him leave. It took another couple minutes to finish loading up, then she headed out as well, smiling when Peter held the door open for her.

James was on the jet ramp, and he gave her a private smile. He waited until she was onboard before going back to checking his weapons.

She doubled checked her onboard supplies, then got settled in her seat while the rest of them filed onboard. She could see Peter fidgeting nervously, and understood why Hope had been asking about his combat experience. 

"Only was past that is through it," James said, sitting down next to her. He'd obviously noticed, too.

She nodded. "He'll be okay." Though she expected they'd all be making an effort to keep an eye on him.

"When we fought in Berlin, he caught my metal arm, and then paused to tell me how awesome my arm was. I nearly had a heart attack realizing I was apparently fighting a superpowered child."

"I hope he doesn't pause to compliment any of the drug growers on their tattoos or something."

James laughed. "I'll keep an eye him from my tree."

"You're sniping today?"

"I am. . .what is it they keep calling it? Ranged DPS."

She grinned. "Oh, that brings back memories. Who's teaching you gaming slang?"

He grinned back. "You."

"Aww, you do listen when I talk."

"Of course I do. I always do."

She smiled and kissed him. "I know." He tucked his hand into hers and held it as they flew south.

*

Bucky didn't really like fighting, per se. It reminded him of being the Winter Soldier. But he had these skills, taught to him first by war and then by evil, and putting them to use for a just cause felt like paying balance back to the world.

And he was really, really good at it. Sometimes it was nice to be the best at something.

Once they landed, he went in first to find a good perch with a view. The cartel base was pretty well fortified, but, to quote the Avenger's former sniper, "No one ever looks up." Bucky found a good tree, slightly uphill from the base, that had a view of the main building and three of the outbuildings, as well as a guard tower. He called into the others on the comms, describing what he saw.

"Cap, you got a preference who I pick off first?"

"A, don't call me that. B, if you can clear out any guards I'd appreciate the guys on the ground not getting a warning."

"Steve pays me a dollar every time I call you that," Bucky replied, taking aim. "And Doc has expensive tastes."

"I have my eye on some custom knitting needles," she said. "The socks won't knit themselves."

"Ready when you are, guys," Bucky said, because his first shot would kick off the fight. "Everybody in position?"

Everyone checked in and Sam said, "Hit it, Barnes."

He did, taking out one of the guards, then the one next to him, all before the others had hit their entry points. The fighting got rough, quick and he focused on taking out people who seemed like they might be able to get a jump on the others.

There was a point, where he could no longer snipe effectively because too much hand-to-hand combat had erupted. Then he'd climb down and put his vibranium arm to use. But for now he listened to the comm, and picked off who he could.

He also used it to keep track of Amanda. She wasn't engaging in the fighting - if she could help it - her job was to get inside and free some of the locals that had been "recruited" into the cartel's supply line. Women and children made much better drug mules than bulked up men with tattoos. Whether they wanted to or not. 

She was perfectly competent at it. But he worried just the same.

"Um, guys?" That was Peter, sounding a little frazzled and out of breath. "I could use a hand at the east end. There's. . . a lot of them."

"Gotcha, kid," Bucky said, finding him and taking aim at the person he was fighting.

He took him down, then the next one, and Peter easily handled the last three. When he was safe, he looked over and waved brightly in Bucky's direction, probably as a thank you.

Well that was shades of Steve, who also liked to thank him and give away his position. Now he had to climb down and-

The bullet hit him in the arm, and knocked him right out of the tree.

*

"Barnes is down."

Amanda was down in the basement of the main cartel building, carefully cleaning and stitching a wound on the leg of a six year old boy, when the call came over the comms.

Her chest tightened and ice poured through her veins, but her hands didn't waver. "Define down?"

"Someone shot him out of the tree!" that was Peter, and he sounded alarmed. "It was my fault, I'm so sorry."

"Barnes, you copy?" Sam said. No answer. "Barnes? Doc, what's your status?"

"I'm in the basement mid wound closure," she replied. she was rather proud of how steady her voice sounded. She kept reminding herself he had the serum, he could survive just about any wound.

_Except blood loss._

She was ignoring that little voice with every bit of training she had. "Can someone get eyes on him?

"I'm going up," Sam said, "But I don't know where he was and the trees are dense."

"He's not dead, I can still feel him," was Wanda's contribution. 

That was good news. She tied off her last two stitches, listening to their battle chatter with half an ear. "I have four civilians to evacuate, what's the status up there?"

"I found him!" Peter said, and he sounded alarmed. "He's out cold but breathing, and there's a lot of blood. Doc, you gotta come here."

She wanted nothing in the world more than to do so. But. "I have four civilians, two wounded. Can I evacuate?"

"I'll come to you," Wanda said. "We'll bubble you out."

" _Doc!_ " Peter again.

"I _know_ , Peter," she snapped, embarrassed that her voice cracked a little on his name. There was utter silence on the comms. The people she was supposed to be rescuing were looking at her warily.

She took a deep breath and rubbed her forehead with the back of her hand. "Wanda?"

"I'm here," she said softly, at her side.

"The little boy's leg is injured he won't be able to walk, and I believe this woman has pneumonia, so we need to keep the O2 on her." She stood, faceplate coming down. "Ready when you are."

"Doc, I got him." That was Sam. Sam was a medic. An EMT not a doctor, and he didn't have equipment, but he'd keep him alive.

"Thank you, Sam." Of course, it wasn't his job to handle injuries. He was the team lead and needed to be on the field calling the shots. Which meant this mission had probably officially gone off the rails. But Wanda had put a bubble around her and the women and kids, so she picked up the little boy with the hurt leg and they headed out.

By the time they got back outside, Sam said, "Concussion, superficial head wound bleeding like a motherfucker. Bullet's a graze. Parker need to take it down a notch."

"Got it," she said. "I'll send one of my drones to collect him and bring him to the jet."

And then there was James's voice. "No, no, I can walk. Dropped my comm."

Tension eased out of her shoulders and she closed her eyes briefly. "Go to the jet, I need to do an exam on you."

"Yes, ma'am."

She and Wanda brought the captives to the base set up by the local authorities. They'd be able to help them get back to their families. Wanda headed back to help with clean up and Amanda took time to hand the two who needed medical attention off to med-evac before going to the jet to see James.

He was sitting on the ramp, bandage on his arm, holding ice to head. "Hey, Doc."

"Barnes," she replied, because they were still on comms and she was still in Doc mode to keep from freaking out. She crouched down in front of him and checked his eyes for dilation, then tugged his hand down to check out the head wound.

"It's fine," he said. "I fell out of a tree."

"And lost consciousness." He wasn't showing any signs of a major concussion, so she put her flashlight away and leaned in to rest her head on the non injured part of his. "Hey," she said softly.

His exhaled breath had a sudden shudder to it. "Take the suit off," he whispered.

She really wasn't supposed to, since the others were still in the field. But the active fighting was done, and she had her comm on. So she shrugged out of the backpack piece and tapped the arc reactor to retract the nannites. As soon as she was free of it, he reached out and pulled her into his arms.

He was solid and warm and alive. For a moment, she was content to just hug him, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face in his shoulder. "You okay, 'Manda?" he said it so quiet, right next to her ear.

She took a shuddery breath. "That was a very long couple of minutes."

He rubbed her back with his good arm. "I know." He paused. "Poor Parker is probably tying himself in knots."

"He's going to be apologizing for months, you know." And she was going to give him a crash course in wound assessment when they got home.

"You did good," he told her, somehow understanding how she'd felt. "You did the right thing."

"I know." She leaned back and pressed her hands against her hot cheeks. "But I really didn't want to. And that was a first."

"You're human," he said. "You have emotions. That's okay. No matter what the rest of them think."

"Amanda has emotions. Doc can't afford to have any. Nor can I be distracted when I'm trying to stitch a leg up." She shifted, sitting next to him and fiddling with his bandage to check his arm. "It was bad because it was you, but I'd have been worried if it was Peter or Hope or anyone else. I can't be two places at once."

"Maybe you need a backup."

She did. She was still only one person and sooner or later someone was going to get seriously hurt because she couldn't get to them in time. "I need to talk to Sam."

He nodded it what seemed like agreement. "So, does it need stitches?" he asked of his arm.

"No, it's already half healed." She resettled the bandage and tucked herself at his side. "They couldn't have hit you in the vibranium arm?"

"Better the arm than the chest. Though I've taken bullets to the chest before."

"Of course you have." She was going to have to completely recalibrate her worry level for him.

"I think the thing that came closest to killing me was one time I got shot in the thigh. I have never seen anything bleed like that."

"Your femoral artery is connected directly to your heart," she told him. "Probably the best way to drain someone of blood, outside of cutting their throat." She paused. "Exsanguination and decapitation are probably the only things you need to worry about."

"I was with a team, so someone found me and put a tourniquet on it."

"Good." Though she was sure they'd done it because he was a valuable asset, not for any of the reasons she'd do it. She reached over and rubbed his thigh gently and he covered her hand with his vibranium one.

"All done here," Sam said on the comms. "Heading back to the jet."

"We're here," James said.

"You up for doing preflight to save some time?"

Amanda could see him watching her, and then he said. "No. No I'm not."

"I'm okay," she protested, soft enough the comm wouldn't pick it up.

"And I'm wounded," he replied, even though she knew he was healing. His face indicated he wasn't going to give in.

She sighed and rested her head on his shoulder, giving in.

"Come on," he said. "Let's go find our seats."


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"When we tell people in the future how we got together we should definitely blame the dog."  
> _

The ride home was pretty quiet. They'd won, but it had been an intense fight and with him getting hurt, Bucky figured no one was feeling chatty. Sam left them all to their own thoughts, only reminding them that Lani was available 24/7 if anyone needed to talk to her.

"I need to put my suit in the armory," Amanda said as they walked off the jet together.

"You want me to come with you, or. . .?"

She shook her head. "I'm . . . I need a minute alone. Meet me back at my house?"

"Okay," he said, kissing her temple and walking off.

He went home to change out his arm and wash up a bit. He took the bandage off his right arm to find the bullet graze little more than a bad bruise. The cut on his head was worse, but he was able to gingerly wash the blood out of his hair and change into fresh clothes.

Echo started barking just as he was heading out the door. Amanda was walking up the road and the dog ran to greet her, dancing around her feet. She smiled, teasing the dog a little before tossing the stick she'd brought. Echo ran off and Amanda looked up, spotting Bucky. She smiled, that soft smile that made her look young and beautiful.

He walked down to meet her. "You all right?"

She nodded, wrapping her arms around him. "I feel a bit better. Had a bit of downtime to get my head sorted."

"Good." He bent and kissed her for real. "Go easy on me tonight, I'm wounded."

Her fingers traced his jaw before brushing over the bandage on his head. "I'll be gentle," she said solemnly.

"Come inside," he murmured.

She nodded, kissing him again, before taking his hand. They walked up to her house. They spent most of their time there. She had made more of an effort to decorate, to make it a home. He liked the pictures on the wall, the shelves full of books and the knitting projects draped everywhere.

Echo came crashing through the dog door, bumping into the back of Bucky's legs. But he was not in the mood to be interrupted. He caught Amanda around the waist. "Bedroom."

"Yes, sir," she murmured, grinning against his mouth as he backed her to the door. Inside, he closed it behind them and pressed her back against it, kissing her. She groaned into his mouth, tangling her fingers in his hair as she kissed him back.

He moved his mouth down her neck, tasting her skin. "Can I tell you something?"

He heard her sigh in pleasure. "You can tell me just about anything."

"Your Doc Voice in the field is so fucking hot." He moved his hands all the way down to her ass and squeezed it.

She laughed, sounding utterly delighted. He ground against her, to prove he was serious, and the laugh turned into a groan. "Was that a request?" she asked, breath ticking his ear.

He leaned back enough to yank her shirt up. He wanted her naked. "You going to give me orders?"

Underneath, she was wearing a very un-her flimsy black lace bra.

Grinning at the look on his face, she ran her nails down his arms. "I could. Maybe we could find some kinks we didn't know we had."

He was completely distracted by the bra. "I had no idea you owned something like this."

"I, uh." She cleared her throat. "I bought it for you."

He traced the edges with his fingertips. "I approve." As he watched, her nipples tightened through the lace.

"Good," she whispered, some of her bravado from a moment before replaced by arousal.

He kissed her again, and unbuttoned her pants enough he could slip his hand inside. Which was all he really needed, because he could turn the vibe on. She whimpered when he touched her, head tipping back against the door. With his other hand he brushed her nipple through her bra, feeling it peak and swell. He pressed one finger against her clit. "Tell me what you want."

For a moment, all she seemed capable of was breathing hard. Then she said, in proper Doc Voice, "Make me come."

Yeah. That was really fucking hot.

He used his free hand to get her pants off. They may have ripped a little, but he didn't care. Then he let her go only long enough to kneel down and nudge her legs apart. He could get her off with just the vibe in about 30 seconds, but where was the fun in that?

She groaned in what sounded like approval as he eased one leg to rest on his shoulder and brought his mouth to her. She was already wet and swollen, shuddering at the first stroke of his tongue. He slide his fingers inside her, liking that he could feel exactly where to put the vibrations.

He teased her clit with his tongue while his fingers stroked and vibrated inside her. The noises she made were desperate and sexy. Her fingers handled in his hair, holding just shy of painfully. He ignored it, focusing on her entirely.

"Yes," she whispered. "Right there, right there." He crooked his fingers inside her and cranked the vibrations up a little higher. She shrieked, hips jerking. Then she was clenching around his fingers, clit throbbing against his tongue.

He could feel her melt, and he turned his head to kiss her thigh before she collapsed entirely into his lap. "That's my girl."

She rested against him, panting a moment. She was still wearing the bra, and nothing else, and he entertained himself tracing the lines of the lace.

Finally, she leaned back and kissed him. "Now," she said, in that damn voice. "Bend me over the foot board and fuck me properly."

Lust surged through him. What she'd said and the way she'd said it. He stood swiftly, pulling her, turning her, pushing on her back so she braced herself on the wooden footboard. There was a bench of some sort in front of it she could put her knees on if she needed to, but she was just the right height standing.

He fought with his pants, yanking them down enough to free his erection, while she settled herself against the foot board. He finished just in time to see her wiggle her ass at him. Without anymore warning, he gripped her hips and drove inside her. Her inner muscles squeezed again him. "Tell me how you want it," he said, because he wanted her to keep talking as he moved.

"Hard," she told him. "Deep. I want to be sore tomorrow. And think of you fucking me every time it twinges."

He didn't want to hurt her, but it was impossible not to do what she asked—because it was exactly what he needed. So he held her where he wanted and slammed in, lifting her off her feet a little. When he got a sound of approval, he did it again and again.

They shook the bed with their rocking. She bent her arms, bracing a knee on the bench to help support herself. It changed the angle and he was able to get deeper, making them both groan.

"Just like that," she told him, voice thick with pleasure. It wasn't Doc Voice, but it was almost as good. "You feel so good. Make me come again. Come around you."

He turned his hand on again and settled it over her clit, feeling the vibrations himself. Her body jerked, every muscle seeming to tense. She squirmed against him like she couldn't decide which she wanted most, and the noise she made sounded desperate and involuntary.

She whimpered his name, then thrust back against him and he felt the first ripples of her orgasm squeeze around him. Her hips rocked and she mumbled incoherent pleas as the climax shuddered through her again and again.

He let himself fuck her through it, not slowing down, turning the vibe up again when he could feel her relaxing. She gripped the footboard with white knuckles and cried out. 

"James, _fuck_." She started to clench on him again, pushing back to meet his strokes. This time her pleas were quite specific. "Come - come with me. Please. Let me feel it."

His body shuddered, and all he had to do was give in. He held her still so he could push as deep into her as he could get. He turned the vibe up one last notch as her orgasm crashed into his. He was pretty sure that drew a scream from her, but he was too lost in his own pleasure to be sure.

When he could think again, she was slumped on the bench, bent awkwardly against the footboard, his weight pinning her there. He could still feel her twitching gently around his cock.

He kissed the back of her neck, grazing her skin with his teeth. That made her body squeeze him, and he whispered, "You want another?"

She moaned softly, in a way that sent heat through him. "It might end me," she murmured. Which was not, he noticed, a no.

This arm was the greatest thing anyone had ever made. Ever. He turned it on slowly, and it wasn't long until she was just about sobbing in his arms. She shook with the force of the orgasm, nails digging into his arm.

"I can't I can't," she whimpered as she rode it out, trying to squirm away from his hand.

He lifted his hand slowly, sensing she might finally be done. She lay limp in his arms, breathing hard for a while as her body calmed.

Very quietly, he heard her whisper, "I love you."

He couldn't even remember the last time someone said that to him. Or that he said it back. But he didn't think he'd been more certain of something in his life. "I love you, too."

She squeezed his arm gently. Then, after another moment, said, "Could we get on the bed properly?"

"Yes, ma'am," he told her, lifting her up over the footboard and setting her down on the bed.

She crawled up the last little bit to lay down, tugging the covers up around her. Kicking off his shoes - they really hadn't bothered getting undressed properly - he joined her in bed, pulling her against his chest. She sighed, sounding utterly content.

"That was totally worth the concussion," he said.

She laughed. "For the record, you don't need a concussion to have good sex."

He wrapped a lock of her hair around his fingers. "Wasn't talking about the sex."

Her face softened into a smile. "You're the first guy I've been with that liked all the parts of me equally. Both Doc and Amanda."

"That is absolutely their loss."

"Maybe you're just special." She reached up and cupped her hand over his to keep it against her cheek. "I love you."

"I love you," he replied. "And I love that you're mine."

"I am entirely yours," she assured him, leaning into kiss him. "I have a proposition for you."

"Mmm?" He'd have given her just about anything right then.

"I'm still horny." She nudged him onto his back, swinging a leg over. "Can you promise to give your motor a rest and we can have some fun the old fashioned way?"

"'Manda, I will take the whole damn arm off if you want."

"Nah," she said, giving him a sexy smile as she leaned over to pin his arms to the bed. "Just don't fight too hard."

He shuddered. "Yes, ma'am."

*

It was custom by now to take the day after a mission off. There were some voluntary meetings and training for those who were interested. Depending on the mission, Lani was often busy. But for the most part everyone decompressed and did their own thing.

Amanda slept in, curled up in bed with James. After a round of lazy morning sex, they stayed where they were, checking email on their phones and indulging in some PG-13 snuggling. Eventually, Echo and the goats needed attention and they go up.

"I should head in to work." She'd made toast and eggs while he dealt with the pets. "My rats need observation."

"I was thinking of laying around and resting my wounds," he replied.

"That sounds more appealing than watching rats run around. But the science isn't going to do itself."

"I have faith one day you'll figure out how."

"Thank you, dear." She kissed him. "Enjoy laying around. I'll see you tonight."

Tiffani was in already when Amanda arrived. "Your mission made the news."

"Are we heroes or dangerous vigilantes?" she asked, shrugging into her labcoat.

"Heroes. Nobody likes the drug cartels. Even, I think, their members."

"Good day all around, then. I'll be with the rats if anyone wants me."

"Peter Parker is in you office."

She sighed. "I'll make a detour, thanks." Instead of heading for the main hall, she ducked in the back door to her office. Peter was sitting in one of the guest chairs, fidgeting. "Hi Peter."

He leapt to his feet. "Hi, Dr. Newbury, I am so sorry."

"I know, Pete. It's okay. You did your best with the information you had."

"I didn't help the situation by panicking. I just, you know, I thought that was what you did. Come help if someone was hurt."

She sighed. "It's supposed to be. But when there's civilians, sometimes my job is helping them. And a big part of emergency triage is not ditching the person you're helping to help someone else. Even if it's someone you care about."

He shoved his hands in his pockets. "I think it was my fault he got shot."

James had told her what happened. "Generally it's not a great idea to wave at the sniper," she said gently. She put a hand on his shoulder. "But apparently, Captain America used to do the same thing, so you're in good company."

"You know that doesn't surprise me at all?"

She smiled. "James is just fine, and so am I. But I think you should find some time to talk to Lani in the next couple days. And if you're up for it, I could give you some basic wound assessment and first aid training. The more people who know how to slap on a tourniquet in the field, the better."

He nodded, then hesitated for a second before say, "I know Mr. Stark does all your tech, so you can tell me to shut up, but I was thinking I could make a kind of web shooter that would work like a bandage." He tapped his wrist. "You could have them on your suit. Or on the droid, or that Hawk thing Sam flies around." She really wanted to know how Sam had convinced Peter to call him Sam.

Her brows went up. "I think that's an awesome idea. Can you work up some plans? We'll make a couple prototypes and try them out."

Peter grinned. "Yeah, absolutely!"

Gosh he was ridiculously cute. "You're very smart, Peter. Don't ever hesitate to suggest something, okay?" He nodded. "Good. Go have a good day off. Say hi to MJ for me."

"I will." He paused. "She told me I should tell you about the bandage thing."

"She's a smart girl." Amanda really liked MJ and hoped she and Peter made it work. They were good for each other. "And she knows how to stand up for herself. It's good."

"She's way out of my league. But she puts up with me anyway." 

"It's good you recognize that. Buy her some flowers or something." He made a face and she shrugged. "Maybe a book about flowers."

He grinned. "That's a great idea."

She made a little shooing gesture and he ran off. Amanda couldn't help smiling. Peter tended to improve one's mood.

Which probably meant it was a good idea to have what might be an awkward conversation with Sam. He was in his office, doing paperwork. There was always paperwork after this kind of mission.

She tapped on the open door and waited for him to look up at her before she said, "We need to talk."

"Yeah, I thought you might."

Closing the door behind her, she took a seat on one of the comfy chairs he had set up. "We need to define what my role is on the team. I'm either the team medic or I'm medical support for locals and civilians. Doing both splits my focus. I have to be the walking hospital _or_ Dr. Death."

He nodded. "I was not enjoying being both team leader and your your nurse."

She spread her hands, as he'd just made her point for her. "During the missing five years, I trained a lot of people how to use the walking hospital. Anyone with EMT or general emergency medicine training could do it. I'm also working with Tony to get more self operating drones. I think it makes more sense for me to train some people to do that and focus on being the team medic in the Doctor Death suit. But it's up to you, you're the Cap."

Sam sighed. "I wish you people would stop calling me that. But yes, I agree, Dr. Death. We have enhanced people, and you're the expert in that. Not like I could send a local EMT to treat Barnes."

"He probably wouldn't let them if you tried."

"That's probably more a Barnes issues than a you issue."

"Fair enough." She shifted trying not to smile at the little twinge in her thighs when she did so. "So I'll talk to Tony about getting more drones in production, and looking to recruit some people who can wear the hospital."

"Hey listen," he said. "You may have noticed sometimes on very dicey missions I don't take Lang. That's because sometimes Hope asks me to when she can't afford to be distracted. I need her more than him." 

"Are you asking if James and I will want a similar arrangement?"

"I just want you to know that you can ask."

She nodded. "I'll talk to him. But I think narrowing my focus will help. I can compartmentalize. And if something happens, I think we'd both rather be there for the other."

"You I trust to make that call."

"Thanks."

"Maybe we shouldn't keep calling it Dr. Death, though."

"If you can think of a new name I'm all for it." She paused. "How do you convince Peter to call you by your first name?"

"When he calls me Mr. Wilson I make him run laps." 

They wrapped up and she went back to her office to email Tony and start working on the skills and abilities list she'd want for someone to take over the hospital suit tasks.

She ended her day, watching still healthy rats romp around their neighborhood. Researchers tried not to get attached to their subjects. But there was one black rat with a lot of personality she was rather fond of. When the testing period was done, he and his favorite friends might have a nice retirement in her cabin.

She wondered what James thought of rodent pets.

He could probably appreciate her attachment to them. The man had brought goats halfway around the world.

Tiff and her other assistants poked their heads in to say goodbye on their way out and Amanda packed up soon after. It was still light out, and relatively warm, so she enjoyed her walk to the houses. Maybe they could take Echo down to the beach and run her around.

Someone was cooking something that smelled delicious, and it reminder her she should probably eat. God knew she nagged the rest of them about that enough.

She was downright shocked to find the smell was coming from her house. James was in the kitchen, Echo sitting obediently at his feet, cooking something on the stove. "Have you been holding out on me?"

He grinned, "I cooked most of that dinner we had with Steve and Sharon and didn't poison anyone." He held out a spoon. "Taste."

Stepping closer, she held his wrist steady so she could try it. "Mmm, that's good. Let me go change out of my lab clothes."

"Will you put that black bra back on?" he sounded adorably hopeful.

"Absolutely. But would you be up for a walk on the beach with the dog before resuming bedroom activities? It's a gorgeous evening."

"A warm up would not go amiss."

Chuckling at his choice of phrase, she went to change, putting on the black bra as requested. By the time she got back out, he was done cooking and was plating up dinner for the both of them.

"Steve thinks Echo is ours," he said.

She smiled, watching the dog dancing at his feet. "I think that's accurate."

"Apparently sharing a pet is a milestone."

"It's usually a big step in a relationship," she conceded. "Though we seem to have started with it."

"I think that was probably Echo's doing." He laughed. "Maybe we were set up by the dog."

"When we tell people in the future how we got together we should definitely blame the dog."

"And the Apocalypse. Just a little."

"Well," she said, leaning across the table to kiss him, before sitting down to dinner. "What's a little apocalypse, now and then?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for this story! We're working on a couple more in this series, apparently it's going to have some size to it. There *might* be a new one starting posting next week. I had a really busy work week this week (and am about to go on vacation), so we'll see if I get my editing done. But definitely soon.


End file.
